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James Cook @jamesecook.bsky.social · 11h

‘I’ve got leeches in my breeches and I need to give speeches’ - 17th century James Brown

James Cook @jamesecook.bsky.social · 23h

If Premier League football teams
were run like The Arts, each XI would have one non-white player and ten privately educated sons of the owner’s mates.

On the plus side there’d be a lot of comedy defending.

James Cook @jamesecook.bsky.social · 4d

FUN FACT: I no longer mention where I'm from on-stage (unless I'm local).

Too many hecklers were shouting out words to the effect of 'but you're white?' (usually they'd include an ethnic slur) and me telling them to go forth and multiply because they were a thick racist c-bomb, although cathartic, was derailing my 20 minutes of bon homie, banter and witticisms. Luckily for me I suppose, I have the privilege of blending in with the majority.

If individuals were shouting it, then many more were probably thinking it - and those are the people Jenrick is going after.

The *ahem* 'low information voters' in small towns who believe that there are no white people in Birmingham and that London is under Sharia Law because they've 'done their own research' by seeing memes on social media, reading the Daily Mail or watching GBeebies. But not by actually visiting either city.

And the rest of us have to watch the Dog Whistle Greatest Hits getting wheeled out again, because racists only have one playbook and they use it time after time hoping that we'll have forgotten when their easily disprovable bullshit was last debunked.

If I was a Tory, I'd be absolutely appalled that this is what passes for 'Conservative values' in 2025. You'd have thought the party of personal responsibility wouldn't also be the party of 'people of that demographic are all the same' but here we are.

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James Cook @jamesecook.bsky.social · 5d

🎧NEW EPISODE ALERT🎧
1️⃣9️⃣7️⃣3️⃣

Part 1 features 5 blokes singing about regret😔, eyes (Spanish) 👀, dancing (general) 🕺, love ❤️ and more regret 😔, so as you can imagine Andy and James get the giggles.
Available from linktr.ee/shoobypodcast.

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James Cook @jamesecook.bsky.social · 5d

Punch Nazis

essencesimmone.blacksky.app @essencesimmone.blacksky.app · 8d

Those who are 35+, what advice do you have for people just entering their 30s?

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Reposted by James Cook

Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · 7d

Every right wing podcaster sounds like “We need to get back to traditional art and values and away from degenerate foreign inspired culturez This podcast is sponsored by Captain Ass-Blaster’s Anal-Prolapse Juice, at over 8.4million Scoville’s you won’t find a hotter sauce”

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James Cook @jamesecook.bsky.social · 8d

Watching the managed decline of western civilization is fucking exhausting isn't it

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Reposted by James Cook

James Cook @jamesecook.bsky.social · 8d

(Elton John voice)

And it seems to me
When we got home
There’ll be a parcel in the bin

Cus that’s where they put them
When nobody’s in

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James Cook @jamesecook.bsky.social · 8d

(Elton John voice)

And it seems to me
When we got home
There’ll be a parcel in the bin

Cus that’s where they put them
When nobody’s in

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James Cook @jamesecook.bsky.social · 9d

BIRMINGHAM!
A comedy/game show/live experience unlike anything you'll have seen before.

Unless you watched Channel 4 in the 80s obvs.

www.bhamcomfest.co.uk/freehalfdaye...

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James Cook @jamesecook.bsky.social · 9d

Hey (hey) you (you) I don’t like your podcast
No way (no way) I think you need a new one

Just one of the songs explored on today’s NEW EPISODE of Shooby Dooby Doo Wop: The Top 10 Time Machine

Linktr.ee/shoobypodcast

Avril Lavigne Girlfriend single cover art with a suggestion that she was killed and replaced I. 2003

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James Cook @jamesecook.bsky.social · 9d

Just one of the songs explored on today’s NEW EPISODE of Shooby Dooby Doo Wop: The Top 10 Time Machine

Linktr.ee/shoobypodcast

The cover art of Beautiful Liar by Beyonce and Shakira with the caption ‘I Know Him So Well for millenials’ because it is.

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James Cook @jamesecook.bsky.social · 9d

‘NORE CLEASE’ - Homer, his tongue coated in wax, asking for more insanity pepper.

Used by me any time I go for seconds and if you saw the state of me you’d know how often that was.

Willow @rockshrimp.bsky.social · 9d

what's the stupidest/randomest Simpsons quote that lives in your head rent free? Mine is the urge to say "you said go to bread" every time I am about to head to bed.

James Cook @jamesecook.bsky.social · 10d

These lamppost flags are a handy guide to where all the fat divorced men live.

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Reposted by James Cook

Craig Deeley @craiguito.bsky.social · 10d

Strange name for a dog

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Reposted by James Cook

Graeme Swanson @swansonian.bsky.social · 10d

I’m not sure “Who can honestly say they’ve never done a gig for slave trading murderers?” is quite the checkmate you think it is.

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Reposted by James Cook

Caimh/CK McDonnell @caimhmc.bsky.social · 11d

If you’d like to get your copy of my new book defaced personally by me than grab your preorder now as I shall commence scrawling later this week. serenitybooksellers.com/shop/ols/pro...