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jasonemry.bsky.social
jackson henry
@jasonemry.bsky.social
my high bowling score is 300 so my opinions pack a certain gravitas
Pinned
*taps sign*
Make America Snort Cocaine Off Toilet Seats Again #MASCOTSA
February 18, 2026 at 2:42 AM
"flight power" feels problematic to me but they say it a LOT
finished my bird translator and I picked up a lot of "the mesozoic shall rise again" wonder what that's all about
February 18, 2026 at 12:15 AM
finished my bird translator and I picked up a lot of "the mesozoic shall rise again" wonder what that's all about
February 18, 2026 at 12:14 AM
INSTEAD OF FIVE FORMATS... WE'VE INVENTED ONE CABLE WITH FIVE FORMATS... DICK SUCKS PLEASE
LITERALLY some guy must have been like "omg I'm selling a fraction of the cables wtf guys"
WE'VE CREATED USB SO THERE'S NO CONFUSION ANYMORE

...OK HERE'S USB-B AND USB-C AND MINI-USB AND MICRO-USB LOL
February 17, 2026 at 10:57 PM
LITERALLY some guy must have been like "omg I'm selling a fraction of the cables wtf guys"
WE'VE CREATED USB SO THERE'S NO CONFUSION ANYMORE

...OK HERE'S USB-B AND USB-C AND MINI-USB AND MICRO-USB LOL
February 17, 2026 at 10:57 PM
WE'VE CREATED USB SO THERE'S NO CONFUSION ANYMORE

...OK HERE'S USB-B AND USB-C AND MINI-USB AND MICRO-USB LOL
February 17, 2026 at 10:56 PM
I went to respond to a skweet but it suddenly wasn’t there, though I could hear giggling from behind the bushes in my front yard
February 17, 2026 at 10:42 PM
too bad there's not a terrorism olympics the US would be a runaway underdog
February 17, 2026 at 1:51 PM
when it goes "quack quack pop" you got the skeet shoots
February 17, 2026 at 4:39 AM
*sewing town-sized loincloth*: Can't you just like, not manifest a gigantic blue dick?

Doctor Manhattan: Weird I didn't know pink mist could talk.
February 17, 2026 at 2:44 AM
what does black AI think about all this
February 17, 2026 at 1:46 AM
turns out billy big mouth basses are advanced AI tracking devices but don't worry be happy
February 17, 2026 at 1:42 AM
ok I lost the thread here we go: Air Bud 15: Center-pede
A Series of Unfortunate Centipedes

you could pretty much just make it an iphone photo filter at this point
February 17, 2026 at 12:50 AM
cruise right into "The Fast and The Centipede"
we'll start slow: The Teletubby Centipede
February 17, 2026 at 12:47 AM
still would like to see the franchise branch out and centipede more things it feels weirdly unhealthy to only centipede ourselves
< OLYMPICS | PARALYMPICS >

? ? ?
,o\=\o\=\o\=\~
human centipede
February 17, 2026 at 12:44 AM
< OLYMPICS | PARALYMPICS >

? ? ?
,o\=\o\=\o\=\~
human centipede
February 17, 2026 at 12:42 AM
$20 "twenty dollars" 20$ "dollars twenty"

🤔
February 17, 2026 at 12:21 AM
"We hold these Truths™️ to be self-evident, that white guys are just better, that they are not well endowed by their white creator, so they make themselves a burden on life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."
February 16, 2026 at 8:16 PM
try praying in the other direction tonight I dunno just spitballing here
what is up with god's aim lately
February 16, 2026 at 6:21 PM
"When an incel and the world hate each other very much..."
when do we tell AI it's adopted
February 16, 2026 at 5:55 PM
when do we tell AI it's adopted
February 16, 2026 at 5:52 PM
*Iranian nuclear site slumped over on street corner, not breathing*

*donald trump, knuckles spattered with blood, robs pockets, urinates on nuclear site, shits self a little bit, stumbles away, farting*
Trump Tower Iranian Nuclear Site
February 16, 2026 at 5:46 PM
while you idiots are busy arguing if air fryers are people or whatever I'm hiding snacks and sharpened sticks all over town you will all be my puppets soon
February 16, 2026 at 5:38 PM
*exasperated mark wahlberg voice* Yo man I thought we were friends, what’s up?
this box’s reaction to being thrown out
February 16, 2026 at 5:33 PM
this box’s reaction to being thrown out
February 16, 2026 at 5:32 PM