Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Reposted by Jesse Kubanet

The Onion @theonion.com · 2d

Bored National Guard Goes Door To Door Asking If Chicagoans Have Any Order They Need Restored https://theonion.com/bored-national-guard-goes-door-to-door-asking-if-chicagoans-have-any-order-they-need-restored/

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Jesse Kubanet @jessekubanet.bsky.social · 3d

@cjzero.bsky.social idk if you’ve seen it but there’s an excellent moment in the Nashville 911 trailer where a dude on a Segway gets sucked into the sky by a twister

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Jesse Kubanet @jessekubanet.bsky.social · 3d

Can I offer anyone a Knife Bag in these trying times?

Jesse Kubanet @jessekubanet.bsky.social · 3d

I found some on Ebay...might be handing out to several friends for Christmas. Thank you for blessing the timeline!

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Jesse Kubanet @jessekubanet.bsky.social · 3d

If you recently bought this, I beg of you, where did you get this

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Reposted by Jesse Kubanet

Daniel Kibblesmith @kibblesmith.com · 4d

I’ve been circling a cursed thought for a while and it’s time to let it out: These guys are Disney Adults for fascism.

the corgi from cowboy bebop @realqrampage.fightins.online · 5d

LMAO LOOK AT THIS PHOTOGRAPH
EVERY TIME I DO IT MAKES ME LAUGH

Kash Patel in his own merch looking fucking embarrassing as hell lmao

he’s so fucking ugly

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Jesse Kubanet @jessekubanet.bsky.social · 4d

My first piece for @pointsincase.com is live! www.pointsincase.com/articles/rit...

Rite Aid Closed All Its Stores, But I’m Still in the Bathroom

I’m still in here. Waving my arms at the bathroom motion sensors to keep the lights on.

www.pointsincase.com

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Reposted by Jesse Kubanet

The Onion @theonion.com · 4d

Health Experts Recommend Standing Up At Desk, Leaving Office, Never Coming Back https://theonion.com/health-experts-recommend-standing-up-at-desk-leaving-o-1819577456/

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Reposted by Jesse Kubanet

The Onion @theonion.com · 5d

Slipknot Travels To India To Begin Psychedelic, Free-Love Phase Of Career https://theonion.com/slipknot-travels-to-india-to-begin-psychedelic-free-love-phase-of-career/

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Reposted by Jesse Kubanet

Points in Case @pointsincase.com · 6d

Zapruder Thesis Film (1928): Zapruder receives D minus. Teacher calls it the biggest disaster he’s ever seen captured on film.

Zapruder’s Filmography

Zapruder Thesis Film (1928): Zapruder receives D minus. Teacher calls it the biggest disaster he’s ever seen captured on film.

www.pointsincase.com

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Jesse Kubanet @jessekubanet.bsky.social · 6d

No one has ever had a worse weekend than Mark Sanchez

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Jesse Kubanet @jessekubanet.bsky.social · 6d

I’ve never once clicked on comments and thought “I’m glad I did that! I learned a lot!”

Jesse Kubanet @jessekubanet.bsky.social · 7d

#Dodgers

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Jesse Kubanet @jessekubanet.bsky.social · 7d

I’m at the point in packing for a move where the boxes are getting weird. Air Fryer + Seinfeld Monopoly? Sure.

Reposted by Jesse Kubanet

CJ Fogler @cjzero.bsky.social · 8d

Solidarity, brothers and sisters

jay
@jayythewave
bro wake up penguin strike 😭

(quote post)

King Sukuna
@King_Sukunaaa . Oct 2
An aquarium in Japan has changed the diet of its penguins and otters due to rising costs, and the animals are refusing to eat the cheaper fish

(image of hand of keeper with fish extended and penguin turning away)

10:10 AM . Oct 3, 2025

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Jesse Kubanet @jessekubanet.bsky.social · 11d

Ever channel should break in live for Shohei Ohtani batting/pitching like it’s the OJ Chase

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Jesse Kubanet @jessekubanet.bsky.social · 11d

This is painfully good

The Daily Show @thedailyshow.com · 11d

Excited to introduce Vibes from Meta. Eat your slop, piggies!

Reposted by Jesse Kubanet

The Onion @theonion.com · 12d

Hungover Hegseth Struggling To Remember How He Ended Up In Room Full Of Generals

QUANTICO, VA—Racking his brain for answers as he gazed out at the high-ranking officers gathered before him, a visibly hungover Pete Hegseth reportedly struggled Tuesday to remember exactly how he end...

theonion.com

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Jesse Kubanet @jessekubanet.bsky.social · 12d

I was just trying to have a sandwich and a nice read on my lunch break you didn’t have to go so hard

Jesse Kubanet @jessekubanet.bsky.social · 12d

I got completely sucked into this story by @iamchrisscott.bsky.social so good!

Chris Scott @iamchrisscott.bsky.social · 17d

I have a new horror story about an airplane up at Marrow Magazine. Safe travels --> marrowmagazine.com/the-last-fli...

The Last Flight – marrow magazine

marrowmagazine.com

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Jesse Kubanet @jessekubanet.bsky.social · 12d

This is incredible!

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Jesse Kubanet @jessekubanet.bsky.social · 12d

Teenagers walking in a group and one has headphones on. What is that? I don’t understand

Reposted by Jesse Kubanet

The Onion @theonion.com · 15d

Grizzled Band-Aid Weathers Third Shower

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Jesse Kubanet @jessekubanet.bsky.social · 15d

For audio books, no matter who it is, with about 40 hours of content, you will hate the person by hour 30

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Reposted by Jesse Kubanet

Luke O'Neil @lukeoneil47.bsky.social · 16d

I can at least get young men being swindled by beefy jocks telling them how they can bench press their way to pussy but will never get the appeal of all these little wieners with their PlaySkool briefcase shtick.

Santiago Mayer @santiagomayer.com · 16d

The new face of Republican youth outreach:

A kid named Brilyn Hollyhand (lol), who flies private while arguing against raising the minimum wage.

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