James
@jmsfntn.bsky.social
Fartist, bog-lover, and aphid greeter.
Hey bud, great that you understand what I'm telling you and that you're taking it all on board but I gotta ask: who is Julie? Can it not just be you who considers my points to be noted? Let's leave her out of it next time
January 27, 2026 at 10:10 AM
Hey bud, great that you understand what I'm telling you and that you're taking it all on board but I gotta ask: who is Julie? Can it not just be you who considers my points to be noted? Let's leave her out of it next time
- Uh uh uh, put your wallets away. I'll pay for dinner. I recently came into some money.
- Dude gross what the fuck i don't think they'll accept those notes at the counter
- Dude gross what the fuck i don't think they'll accept those notes at the counter
January 27, 2026 at 3:29 AM
- Uh uh uh, put your wallets away. I'll pay for dinner. I recently came into some money.
- Dude gross what the fuck i don't think they'll accept those notes at the counter
- Dude gross what the fuck i don't think they'll accept those notes at the counter
Hey man I spilled my drink, do you have something i can mop this up with?
(an owl with breasts appears)
Hmm i get it but this doesn't help me at all
(an owl with breasts appears)
Hmm i get it but this doesn't help me at all
January 27, 2026 at 3:25 AM
Hey man I spilled my drink, do you have something i can mop this up with?
(an owl with breasts appears)
Hmm i get it but this doesn't help me at all
(an owl with breasts appears)
Hmm i get it but this doesn't help me at all
World's biggest Terminator fan walks into the ubiquitous retailer that specialises in overpriced cubes of uniquely flavoured loose leaf tea, leaves bitterly disappointed but nonetheless keen to try a cuppa lemon cheesecake
January 22, 2026 at 9:40 AM
World's biggest Terminator fan walks into the ubiquitous retailer that specialises in overpriced cubes of uniquely flavoured loose leaf tea, leaves bitterly disappointed but nonetheless keen to try a cuppa lemon cheesecake
Come on buddy you can't be out AND about
Which is it
Which is it
January 21, 2026 at 5:13 AM
Come on buddy you can't be out AND about
Which is it
Which is it
They did a second season of Wednesday? Ha! They should've called it Thur-
I awaken at the Pearly Gates. The warm embrace of St. Peter greets me.
"My son," he says, "that was a shit bit. This is for your own good". Before I can speak, he slaps me and banishes me straight to Hell.
I awaken at the Pearly Gates. The warm embrace of St. Peter greets me.
"My son," he says, "that was a shit bit. This is for your own good". Before I can speak, he slaps me and banishes me straight to Hell.
January 20, 2026 at 5:06 PM
They did a second season of Wednesday? Ha! They should've called it Thur-
I awaken at the Pearly Gates. The warm embrace of St. Peter greets me.
"My son," he says, "that was a shit bit. This is for your own good". Before I can speak, he slaps me and banishes me straight to Hell.
I awaken at the Pearly Gates. The warm embrace of St. Peter greets me.
"My son," he says, "that was a shit bit. This is for your own good". Before I can speak, he slaps me and banishes me straight to Hell.
Train announcer just sang "What can I saayyyy except it's Wilston, platform is onnn the riiight"
January 19, 2026 at 8:37 PM
Train announcer just sang "What can I saayyyy except it's Wilston, platform is onnn the riiight"
hey man sorry but you can't come to my party this time, we know it was you who put the Berocca in the toilet at the last one. I don't care if it was for "research"
January 17, 2026 at 3:14 AM
hey man sorry but you can't come to my party this time, we know it was you who put the Berocca in the toilet at the last one. I don't care if it was for "research"
to compare a werewolf to moss is to liken a lycan to lichen
January 11, 2026 at 9:08 PM
to compare a werewolf to moss is to liken a lycan to lichen
if Salon is so good then how come th-
December 25, 2025 at 8:35 PM
if Salon is so good then how come th-
just helped a lady at the bus stop figure out how to get to her destination and then she started watching an AI music video on her giant Apple phone that sounded like Weird Al Yankovic singing a duet with Britney Spears but they were both singing in Filipino
December 25, 2025 at 8:32 PM
just helped a lady at the bus stop figure out how to get to her destination and then she started watching an AI music video on her giant Apple phone that sounded like Weird Al Yankovic singing a duet with Britney Spears but they were both singing in Filipino
if you're after a good cringefest, check out the reply guys on all of Charli xcx's Letterboxd reviews
December 22, 2025 at 11:01 AM
if you're after a good cringefest, check out the reply guys on all of Charli xcx's Letterboxd reviews
I love it when a customer asks if we're open on Christmas because it gives a unique and invaluable insight into how the mind of a complete dullard operates
No we're not open on Christmas you fuckwit
No we're not open on Christmas you fuckwit
December 15, 2025 at 8:30 PM
I love it when a customer asks if we're open on Christmas because it gives a unique and invaluable insight into how the mind of a complete dullard operates
No we're not open on Christmas you fuckwit
No we're not open on Christmas you fuckwit
"Chimp" is actually an abbreviated portmanteau of "cheeky imp" and not many people know this or are too afraid to admit that they do
December 6, 2025 at 4:32 PM
"Chimp" is actually an abbreviated portmanteau of "cheeky imp" and not many people know this or are too afraid to admit that they do
deathcore cover of James Blunt's "Goodbye My Lover":
(guttural)
GOODBOIYE MOUY LOVORRRR
GOODBOIYE MOUY (piggy) FRIEEEEEND
(guttural again)
YOUW HUV BUHN TH ONE
(speaking)
you have been the one for
(cymbal crash x2)
(piggy)
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
(guttural)
GOODBOIYE MOUY LOVORRRR
GOODBOIYE MOUY (piggy) FRIEEEEEND
(guttural again)
YOUW HUV BUHN TH ONE
(speaking)
you have been the one for
(cymbal crash x2)
(piggy)
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
December 4, 2025 at 8:09 PM
deathcore cover of James Blunt's "Goodbye My Lover":
(guttural)
GOODBOIYE MOUY LOVORRRR
GOODBOIYE MOUY (piggy) FRIEEEEEND
(guttural again)
YOUW HUV BUHN TH ONE
(speaking)
you have been the one for
(cymbal crash x2)
(piggy)
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
(guttural)
GOODBOIYE MOUY LOVORRRR
GOODBOIYE MOUY (piggy) FRIEEEEEND
(guttural again)
YOUW HUV BUHN TH ONE
(speaking)
you have been the one for
(cymbal crash x2)
(piggy)
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Reposted by James
man these are getting too real
December 3, 2025 at 11:01 PM
man these are getting too real
Really feelin SBGPO today
(SpongeBob Big Guy Pants Okay)
(SpongeBob Big Guy Pants Okay)
December 1, 2025 at 10:19 AM
Really feelin SBGPO today
(SpongeBob Big Guy Pants Okay)
(SpongeBob Big Guy Pants Okay)
"Holy infant, so tender and mild"
Why, in classic Christmas carol 'Silent Night', are we describing little baby Jesus like we are going to eat him
Why, in classic Christmas carol 'Silent Night', are we describing little baby Jesus like we are going to eat him
December 1, 2025 at 12:33 AM
"Holy infant, so tender and mild"
Why, in classic Christmas carol 'Silent Night', are we describing little baby Jesus like we are going to eat him
Why, in classic Christmas carol 'Silent Night', are we describing little baby Jesus like we are going to eat him
I was named after my father. We have different names, he was just born way before me.
November 25, 2025 at 11:34 PM
I was named after my father. We have different names, he was just born way before me.
Ariana Grande actually means "big spider"
November 20, 2025 at 1:50 AM
Ariana Grande actually means "big spider"
saw a labubu on someone's handbag today for the first time in months. These degenerates still walk among us
November 12, 2025 at 6:02 AM
saw a labubu on someone's handbag today for the first time in months. These degenerates still walk among us
there is a song that plays multiple times a day on the in-store playlist at work that is so fucking annoying but so irritatingly catchy i hate it so much it won't leave my mind.
It repeatedly says "Karma is my boyfriend" and i assume that is the title, and from there i assume it is by Taylor Swift
It repeatedly says "Karma is my boyfriend" and i assume that is the title, and from there i assume it is by Taylor Swift
November 10, 2025 at 8:34 PM
there is a song that plays multiple times a day on the in-store playlist at work that is so fucking annoying but so irritatingly catchy i hate it so much it won't leave my mind.
It repeatedly says "Karma is my boyfriend" and i assume that is the title, and from there i assume it is by Taylor Swift
It repeatedly says "Karma is my boyfriend" and i assume that is the title, and from there i assume it is by Taylor Swift
Mega Feraligatr.......how could they do this....
November 6, 2025 at 11:26 PM
Mega Feraligatr.......how could they do this....
Every fresh tube of toothpaste is a new beginning.
"Maybe this one won't get a crusty plug of dried gunk towards the end of its life cycle" I say, optimistic yet cautious.
Filled with hope, I squeeze a portion onto the bristles of my brush and get to work.
This one's for you, Dick Cheney.
"Maybe this one won't get a crusty plug of dried gunk towards the end of its life cycle" I say, optimistic yet cautious.
Filled with hope, I squeeze a portion onto the bristles of my brush and get to work.
This one's for you, Dick Cheney.
November 5, 2025 at 7:57 PM
Every fresh tube of toothpaste is a new beginning.
"Maybe this one won't get a crusty plug of dried gunk towards the end of its life cycle" I say, optimistic yet cautious.
Filled with hope, I squeeze a portion onto the bristles of my brush and get to work.
This one's for you, Dick Cheney.
"Maybe this one won't get a crusty plug of dried gunk towards the end of its life cycle" I say, optimistic yet cautious.
Filled with hope, I squeeze a portion onto the bristles of my brush and get to work.
This one's for you, Dick Cheney.