Author | Lightnews

John Valhalla

@johnvalhalla.bsky.social

34 followers 49 following 59 posts

HAIL ETERNAL VICEROY! 🚩 Valhallan 🚩 Patriot 🚩, proud Captain, destroyer of DISSIDENCE. Vlendr 2028! RIP Valhalla Internationale, you will be missed.

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John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 29d

I'm a certified badass.

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John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 1d

Two EQC whiteshirts talking about the Ants when a Valhallan who knows 3 and a half things about the Sunscarred Militia walks in

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Reposted by John Valhalla

Angel @angelpiscool.bsky.social · 1d

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John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 3d

AHH

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 3d

Anything but proving he’s not a Nazi

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 3d

Is your group retarded? It MIGHT be led by LuxSemper!

LuxSemper @luxsemper.bsky.social · 4d

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John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 4d

"i know this is against me but it lowkey goes hard i kinda like it"
-His Excellency, the Viceroy, Vlendr

You, sir, have just WON the internet! And a 2nd Ribbon of the Arts. Join the Viceroyalty of New Valhalla to claim your ribbon today!

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John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 4d

I know lots of things.

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 5d

Serving L1GG3D

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 5d

Pastry is merciful. He actually has evidence that Vlendr and Vario are also Trimbalio collaborators via the all-seeing Anti-Telamon Club, yet takes pity on the two for the sake of their communities.

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 5d

I know about the Anti-Telamon Club.

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 6d

The white is President Angel, by the way.

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John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 7d

YES!

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 7d

What now?

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John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 7d

10-5. Outnumbered. EQC victory. HAIL EQUINOX!

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 8d

Our great brothers in Equinox & Co. march against the Sunscarred in 20 minutes. Valhallans, give the white army your blessings.

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John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 8d

???: I have a task for you, Cheery.

Cheery: What is it, master?

???: Leave the Viceroyalty of New Valhalla... add... Pastriellie on Discord... join... the Sunscarred Militia...

*the man steps out from the shadows*

Adolf Hitler: Do not disappoint me... great Velvetonner.

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John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 8d

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John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 9d

Nothing reunites the Valhallan people more than having to deal with the disabled.

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John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 10d

I heard 8 Ball is gonna be in it. Fight between him and Adam is gonna be crazy

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 11d

I hate to break it to you, and I know this will devastate you, but unfortunately, John Valhalla isn’t interested. The Viceroy, however… Hot diggity! You’re one lucky lady, Valentine!

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John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 12d

@mythluiginew.bsky.social Can you unfollow me

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John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 13d

What chapstick?

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 13d

I kissed a guy and I LIKED IT! The taste of his cherry chapstick!

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John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 14d

Only TRUE John Valhalla fans would like this post!

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John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 14d

This will be revealed in Season 4.