Joseph Lezza
@josephlezza.com
Writer. Worrier. Full-time coffee chugger. Eric Hoffer Book Award Finalist. “I’m Never Fine,” a memoir, OUT NOW from Vine Leaves Press
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🔗: https://linktr.ee/josephlezza
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🔗: https://linktr.ee/josephlezza
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Joseph Lezza
@josephlezza.com
· Nov 15
Hello, bluski. I’m Joseph. I’m a writer, memoirist, and Eric Hoffer Book Award finalist. I’m also totally gaybones and, on some days, am not terrible to look at. I’d love to connect with other writers, readers, and all-around sweater wearers. Plz share and lets follow each other into oblivion!
A smile is something special
A ribbon is something rare
So, I’ll be special
And, I’ll be rare
With a smile and a ribbon in my hair
A ribbon is something rare
So, I’ll be special
And, I’ll be rare
With a smile and a ribbon in my hair
December 2, 2025 at 2:10 AM
A smile is something special
A ribbon is something rare
So, I’ll be special
And, I’ll be rare
With a smile and a ribbon in my hair
A ribbon is something rare
So, I’ll be special
And, I’ll be rare
With a smile and a ribbon in my hair
When you text LMAO, are you really LYAO?
December 1, 2025 at 7:01 PM
When you text LMAO, are you really LYAO?
Trying to decide if I want to stay in my holiday bubble or watch the gay hockey show and potentially ruin my life…
November 30, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Trying to decide if I want to stay in my holiday bubble or watch the gay hockey show and potentially ruin my life…
I believe that we, as a people, deserve the entire month of December off. There’s cocoa to drink, movies to watch, fireplaces to sit by, and absolutely zero time for werk or würk or however it’s spelled.
November 30, 2025 at 4:31 PM
I believe that we, as a people, deserve the entire month of December off. There’s cocoa to drink, movies to watch, fireplaces to sit by, and absolutely zero time for werk or würk or however it’s spelled.
Never tell them.
Macaulay Culkin says his two sons still don’t know he played Kevin in ‘HOME ALONE’:
“Two days ago, my oldest wanted to see pictures of me and my siblings. I pulled out an old family photo. He looks directly at me and goes, ‘That kid looks like Kevin — who’s that?’”
“Two days ago, my oldest wanted to see pictures of me and my siblings. I pulled out an old family photo. He looks directly at me and goes, ‘That kid looks like Kevin — who’s that?’”
November 28, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Never tell them.
No one told me that part of shopping today meant I could ogle all the husbands’ pert little butts in their athletic pants.
November 28, 2025 at 6:53 PM
No one told me that part of shopping today meant I could ogle all the husbands’ pert little butts in their athletic pants.
Would you break bread with me?
November 27, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Would you break bread with me?
Reposted by Joseph Lezza
I will not recover from Al Roker giving a little girl a ticket to see the Rockettes for her birthday and she hit him with:
I did that yesterday.
I did that yesterday.
November 27, 2025 at 4:37 PM
I will not recover from Al Roker giving a little girl a ticket to see the Rockettes for her birthday and she hit him with:
I did that yesterday.
I did that yesterday.
I love the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. What do you mean that microphone you were just singing into was off the moment you tried to say “Happy Holidays.”
November 27, 2025 at 3:54 PM
I love the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. What do you mean that microphone you were just singing into was off the moment you tried to say “Happy Holidays.”
I love the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade because it’s the only time of year where one can hear a statement like “And, coming up, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles float featuring a performance by Busta Rhymes” and not even blink an eye.
November 27, 2025 at 3:33 PM
I love the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade because it’s the only time of year where one can hear a statement like “And, coming up, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles float featuring a performance by Busta Rhymes” and not even blink an eye.
What fool convinced Jimmy Fallon that we want a holiday song from him every year?
Because I’d like to kick them right in the pants.
Because I’d like to kick them right in the pants.
November 27, 2025 at 3:05 PM
What fool convinced Jimmy Fallon that we want a holiday song from him every year?
Because I’d like to kick them right in the pants.
Because I’d like to kick them right in the pants.
Happy Thanksgiving!
I know I’d be thankful if you ordered my book!
www.vineleavespress.com/im-never-fin...
I know I’d be thankful if you ordered my book!
www.vineleavespress.com/im-never-fin...
November 27, 2025 at 2:24 PM
Happy Thanksgiving!
I know I’d be thankful if you ordered my book!
www.vineleavespress.com/im-never-fin...
I know I’d be thankful if you ordered my book!
www.vineleavespress.com/im-never-fin...
The way I have ZERO patience for the “seems far” dudes on dating apps.
Good luck searching in a five block radius, I guess.
Good luck searching in a five block radius, I guess.
November 27, 2025 at 1:24 AM
The way I have ZERO patience for the “seems far” dudes on dating apps.
Good luck searching in a five block radius, I guess.
Good luck searching in a five block radius, I guess.
Mom: “I’m gonna have tea later with the burger on.”
Me: “The what?”
Mom: “The burger on!”
Me: “The WHAT?”
Mom: (shows me the box)
Me: “Mom, that’s says bergamot.”
Me: “The what?”
Mom: “The burger on!”
Me: “The WHAT?”
Mom: (shows me the box)
Me: “Mom, that’s says bergamot.”
November 26, 2025 at 11:43 PM
Mom: “I’m gonna have tea later with the burger on.”
Me: “The what?”
Mom: “The burger on!”
Me: “The WHAT?”
Mom: (shows me the box)
Me: “Mom, that’s says bergamot.”
Me: “The what?”
Mom: “The burger on!”
Me: “The WHAT?”
Mom: (shows me the box)
Me: “Mom, that’s says bergamot.”
Anyone wanna walk past the mall Cinnabon and dissociate with me for a while?
November 26, 2025 at 5:20 PM
Anyone wanna walk past the mall Cinnabon and dissociate with me for a while?
Drop some ROBOTS 🤖🖤🦾
November 26, 2025 at 3:55 PM
Drop some ROBOTS 🤖🖤🦾
Sure, sex is cool. But, have you ever had LinkedIn request your valued expertise?
November 20, 2025 at 8:28 PM
Sure, sex is cool. But, have you ever had LinkedIn request your valued expertise?
Some good news today?
Please?
Pretty please?
Please?
Pretty please?
a fluffy kitten sitting next to a cup of coffee on a table .
ALT: a fluffy kitten sitting next to a cup of coffee on a table .
media.tenor.com
November 20, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Some good news today?
Please?
Pretty please?
Please?
Pretty please?
Reposted by Joseph Lezza
As @juliusgoat.bsky.social put it: “a machine built to eat people will eat people.”
November 18, 2025 at 3:27 PM
As @juliusgoat.bsky.social put it: “a machine built to eat people will eat people.”
Hate when I spot someone wearing a cool shirt and neglect to ask them where they got it because it inevitably results in countless internet rabbit holes that all lead to websites called ManlyShirtNotAScam.com.
November 15, 2025 at 2:21 PM
Hate when I spot someone wearing a cool shirt and neglect to ask them where they got it because it inevitably results in countless internet rabbit holes that all lead to websites called ManlyShirtNotAScam.com.
I simply can’t abide the word “guncle.”
Sorry, all.
Sorry, all.
November 14, 2025 at 11:04 PM
I simply can’t abide the word “guncle.”
Sorry, all.
Sorry, all.
As much as I love and miss my father, the way I would never…absolutely EVER…want to talk to a virtual facsimile of him. Not only would that be an insult to his memory, I can’t imagine it would be anything but a heartbreaking and hollow experience.
The app was co-founded by Calum Worthy, a former Disney Channel actor known for starring in “Austin & Ally.”
Disney Channel Star’s AI App That Creates Avatars Of Dead Relatives Sparks Backlash
The app was co-founded by Calum Worthy, a former Disney Channel actor known for starring in “Austin & Ally.”
www.forbes.com
November 14, 2025 at 6:33 PM
As much as I love and miss my father, the way I would never…absolutely EVER…want to talk to a virtual facsimile of him. Not only would that be an insult to his memory, I can’t imagine it would be anything but a heartbreaking and hollow experience.
Today, a Tinder match unmatched me within the course of three messages. My other two have gone radio silent.
BUT, a good looking guy mistook me for a fit person and asked me where the gym was.
And, imma let that carry me thru dinner.
BUT, a good looking guy mistook me for a fit person and asked me where the gym was.
And, imma let that carry me thru dinner.
November 13, 2025 at 10:42 PM
Today, a Tinder match unmatched me within the course of three messages. My other two have gone radio silent.
BUT, a good looking guy mistook me for a fit person and asked me where the gym was.
And, imma let that carry me thru dinner.
BUT, a good looking guy mistook me for a fit person and asked me where the gym was.
And, imma let that carry me thru dinner.