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Katherine Di Napoli

@katherinedinapoli.bsky.social

92 followers 220 following 26 posts

Writing humor, fiction, and the occasional journal entry at a cadence so random it would concern even the most experienced therapist. Based in Canada. Read my stuff here: katherinedinapoli.com

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Katherine Di Napoli @katherinedinapoli.bsky.social · 9d

I’m in @mcsweeneys.net !! If you want to read one thing today that isn’t a terrifying news story, let it be this silly, true, coming-of-age story about a bra shopping experience/fever dream I had as a self-conscious teen.

McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 9d

"The bra in my hands was brown with stripes. BROWN WITH STRIPES, PORTIA. This was 2006, not today, when brown is cool. Each cup looked like a Viking helmet."

An Open Letter to the Bra Store Clerk Who Gave My Enormous Breasts an Embarrassing Nickname When I Was Coming of Age

To the woman at the bra store who clocked me as a “Gerry” in reference to my G-cup breasts when I was coming of age, I’m certain you haven’t spared...

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Reposted by Katherine Di Napoli

RiotGrlErin @riotgrlerin.bsky.social · 3d

Bilbo Baggins in The Scream by Edvard Munch.

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Katherine Di Napoli @katherinedinapoli.bsky.social · 4d

Thrilling news. I, a millennial, have introduced my Gen Z colleague to a Charli XCX song she hadn’t heard - and now she loves it. Reader, it feels like being ID'd at the liquor store, on steroids. I will be chasing this high for years. I felt a wrinkle evaporate from my face. I no longer have GERD.

Katherine Di Napoli @katherinedinapoli.bsky.social · 4d

“Surely you had noticed our age gap? I was wearing Phat Farms, and you were smoking indoors (not really, but that’s how I perceived you). In any case, your oversight did not spark joy for me.”

McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 4d

"You tightened my straps, spun me around, and pulled at the clasp to make sure the bra fit just right. You handled me like I was a heifer at a livestock auction. I looked down at my udders. I didn’t know they made bras that big. But they did, they made them for me."

An Open Letter to the Bra Store Clerk Who Gave My Enormous Breasts an Embarrassing Nickname When I Was Coming of Age

To the woman at the bra store who clocked me as a “Gerry” in reference to my G-cup breasts when I was coming of age, I’m certain you haven’t spared...

buff.ly

Reposted by Katherine Di Napoli

McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 6d

"I’m sure you met people like me every day, which is to say, fools, with deep grooves in their shoulders caused by ill-fitting bras. But my enormous breasts were not something I had yet come to terms with—that is, until that fateful day when I met you."

An Open Letter to the Bra Store Clerk Who Gave My Enormous Breasts an Embarrassing Nickname When I Was Coming of Age

To the woman at the bra store who clocked me as a “Gerry” in reference to my G-cup breasts when I was coming of age, I’m certain you haven’t spared...

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Katherine Di Napoli @katherinedinapoli.bsky.social · 8d

Gabapentin, what would we do without her 🙏 (my cat is also a 150mg/full PPE kinda gal)

Katherine Di Napoli @katherinedinapoli.bsky.social · 9d

Thank you!! It’s a beautiful name. In any case, I’m a Harriett now, so I suppose it just wasn’t meant to be 😂

Katherine Di Napoli @katherinedinapoli.bsky.social · 9d

Thank you!! Lambert is a perfect counterpart to Portia. We must stick together through these formative experiences!

Katherine Di Napoli @katherinedinapoli.bsky.social · 9d

"I want to say your shop was filled with the dank haze of cigarette smoke, but that can’t be true. My mother had dragged me there against my will. It was off the beaten path and named like a birth control pill: Portia’s. Or maybe, Calista’s… something like that."

McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 9d

"The bra in my hands was brown with stripes. BROWN WITH STRIPES, PORTIA. This was 2006, not today, when brown is cool. Each cup looked like a Viking helmet."

An Open Letter to the Bra Store Clerk Who Gave My Enormous Breasts an Embarrassing Nickname When I Was Coming of Age

To the woman at the bra store who clocked me as a “Gerry” in reference to my G-cup breasts when I was coming of age, I’m certain you haven’t spared...

buff.ly

Katherine Di Napoli @katherinedinapoli.bsky.social · 9d

Thank you!! A proud member. And I love your piece too. “I hear you when you say you want a raise.” Brilliant!

Katherine Di Napoli @katherinedinapoli.bsky.social · 9d

McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 9d

"The bra in my hands was brown with stripes. BROWN WITH STRIPES, PORTIA. This was 2006, not today, when brown is cool. Each cup looked like a Viking helmet."

An Open Letter to the Bra Store Clerk Who Gave My Enormous Breasts an Embarrassing Nickname When I Was Coming of Age

To the woman at the bra store who clocked me as a “Gerry” in reference to my G-cup breasts when I was coming of age, I’m certain you haven’t spared...

buff.ly

4 6 31

Katherine Di Napoli @katherinedinapoli.bsky.social · 9d

Great piece 👏 @hatethedrake.bsky.social, your words express exactly the rage I feel, and it makes me feel sane. Especially important right now!

Katherine Di Napoli @katherinedinapoli.bsky.social · 10d

Loved it! Great premise. Also slightly scared to choose my regular mug tomorrow… Congrats on the publication!

Katherine Di Napoli @katherinedinapoli.bsky.social · 10d

I've recently started feeling jittery after my morning coffee, and as a 3-to-4-cups-a-day coffee drinker, this is terrible news. It must mean I'm... dying?

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Reposted by Katherine Di Napoli

McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 11d

"Its novel is a tour de force uncannily reflecting the tragic emptiness of endless striving in the hedonistic Jazz Age. It is unlike anything else this critic has seen before, with one possible exception."

Book Review: The Great Gatsby by the Xerox 914 Photocopier

Amid the rise of artificial intelligence, technophobes and Luddites have continued to insist that machines “can’t really write”—at least not the wa...

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Katherine Di Napoli @katherinedinapoli.bsky.social · 12d

Yes, this exactly.

Katherine Di Napoli @katherinedinapoli.bsky.social · 16d

Just finished a writing retreat with a friend. Three days in a cabin on the coast, pacing ourselves with forest walks, ocean swims, and French press coffee. Was fabulous. Can’t say I recommend re-entry into the real world.

Katherine Di Napoli @katherinedinapoli.bsky.social · 17d

Not pictured: Me, in an ill-fitting bathing suit, scratching a holographic will into the sand before handing myself over to the sharks

Katherine Di Napoli @katherinedinapoli.bsky.social · 18d

Fresh tea biscuits on a crisp fall morning 🍂 My grandmother’s recipe, as published in her local Legion’s cookbook - so you KNOW it’s good.

Katherine Di Napoli @katherinedinapoli.bsky.social · Sep 3

It was a terrible vessel for water, I can confirm!!

Katherine Di Napoli @katherinedinapoli.bsky.social · Sep 3

@julianagray.bsky.social This whole piece made me laugh from top to bottom. I recently had an AirBNB/washing machine encounter that found me manually draining the machine into a cookie sheet at 2AM. Thank you for the laughs!!

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Katherine Di Napoli @katherinedinapoli.bsky.social · Aug 31

The only thing that could make this day better would be if that puzzle finished itself

Reposted by Katherine Di Napoli

erika @yeeeerika.bsky.social · Jul 23

rolling up to the Olive Garden like

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Katherine Di Napoli @katherinedinapoli.bsky.social · Aug 20

*avoiding eye contact with my neglected snake plant* haha this is great

The Belladonna Comedy @belladonnacomedy.bsky.social · Aug 19

“You stopped dyeing your hair to let your natural greys come in and now it’s strictly 25-year-olds who message you on Hinge.” By @ericaliesalot.bsky.social & @claireluisabiz.bsky.social

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/what-your-fa...

Katherine Di Napoli @katherinedinapoli.bsky.social · Aug 20

"What he says: I think Sam LaPorta will bounce back this year. // What he means: I love my wife more than ever before" is absolutely perfect. This one had me cackling.

McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · Aug 20

WHAT HE SAYS: Can you believe Travis Kelce is going as late as the seventh round in a lot of leagues?

WHAT HE MEANS: I’ve never been more anxious about the passage of time.

Male Fantasy Football Talk, Translated

What he says: Thank god football’s back. What he means: I miss my friends. - - -What he says: Can you believe Travis Kelce is going as late as the...

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Katherine Di Napoli @katherinedinapoli.bsky.social · Aug 19

Oh man, this made me laugh out loud from start to finish

Annual Reminders from the Killer in I Know What You Did Last Summer

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER! - - -I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER! - - -I REMAIN FULLY AWARE OF WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER! - - -IT’S BEEN ...