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mamabicho.bsky.social
embarassing!!! yuck!!! 🔞
@mamabicho.bsky.social
48 followers 23 following 350 posts
this is the nsfw... please dont follow if you're under 18 or don't have your age listed! you gotta be nice to me them's the rules
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kinktober 02: innocent

Unicorns haven't the concept of shame. Try as we might, we cannot teach it.
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who knows your body better than yourself
(aggie² + cw for sh scars)
im like sharing too much im napping and then filtering thru this later bye bye
but yeah no like pussy being synonymous with pain in my brain whether its mine or somebody else's is not great :(
brother we started with just looking for smut audio books why are we here now
"outside stuff" is like. fine. I can manage with that. and its not even that it feels painful i just feel this constant fear that its going to be and that ill break. thats normal!! excited for therapy Wednesday next week
also yes ik thats not the only form of sex ever I know this. I just also dont wsnt to do that to anyone Either. I don't wanna put anything in there actually i think id hate that even more
sorrrrry cw for what im implying but the former was like just during normal ass consensual sex whats up with that. its like id want it so bad but the lead up and doing things for the other person was always so much more fulfilling than anything going fucking near there
i also remember like sort of zoning out during sex and convincing myself to focus on the like sensation and ignoring the absolute dread I'd feel every time I looked down or thought about it too hard. this is turning into a therapist conversation
man even before the incident i remember reading smut and sort of glossing over any detailed descriptions of like "thing-in-pussy" sex. like im pretty sure ive always been turned off by it
I need to like become a guy and then sort of become a girl again. I need to go back in time and be born a guy and then turn into me now
I think i was always meant to be trans but in a completely different way. like a double trans
gender is a construct but I feel forced into the boy girl and third gender options constantly bc theres such a clear picture of what they all look like even in spaces where it should feel more fluid and yet it doesn't and I feel insane every day
"girl ur just nonbinary" once I start meeting more nonbinary folk who aren't the same 5 skinny white people with short hair on t then ill think about it again. thre has to be more of you out there....let me find you!!!!
I swear I get these awakenings at the most random fucking times. and honestly they've been happening sort of nonstop this year
its so. GRAHHH. very much "born in the wrong body" but in a way that doesn't feel like an option in the little "how to be queer" form they give you when you come out
like. full honesty mask off i feel really guilty calling myself queer while being afab and not being into basically everyone who falls under that. bc i dont think im a gay boy either. and I just dont see myself in trans men at all
omg I dont fit in with straight ppl bc of my sexuality let's go to gay places. oh no i dont fit in here either bc of my sexuality (?)
like watching porn and seeing something go in there makes me fucking recoil 😭 i hate being the odd one out in the places im supposed to not feel odd in
anyone can be anything in this world abolish all the boxes we put ourselves in to conform but my extreme disinterest and aversion to pussy is crazy. in theory it makes sense bc of the #horrors im not getting into but on paper its like...okay so do I want gay ppl to hate me
visited a romance book store and reading the plot synopsis of these books and getting disappointed when the protagonist is a woman is putting me in an uncomfortable situation bc wdym. why did you sigh out loud
but yeah its tricky bc I dont want something corny as fuck but I don't want something triggering and aloooot of smut seems to be like that lol. want them to be in love but also get freaky and weird w it is that too much to ask