Simon Harris
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manbehavingdadly.bsky.social
Simon Harris
@manbehavingdadly.bsky.social
I’m also Man Behaving Dadly. I was away for a bit. I take comfort in the fact that my continued existence makes a lot of people incredibly angry.
Life hack if you’re having trouble finding Dubai chocolate.

Get a Dairy Milk for under a quid and get the f**k over yourself.
April 4, 2025 at 2:16 PM
Some prefer ‘World Autism Awareness Day.’ Some prefer ‘World Autism Acceptance Day.’

Personally, I like, ‘Hey Boomer Please Stop Assuming That Kid Having A Meltdown In Tesco Just Needs A Bloody Good Hiding Day.’
April 2, 2025 at 9:18 AM
Led By Donkeys’ Facebook post about projecting giant message onto Reform rally venue - 17.7k reactions.

Reform UK Facebook post about rally itself - 13.4k reactions.
March 29, 2025 at 12:41 PM
Tesco cashier: ‘Right that’ll be £32.75 please.’

Me: Scans Clubcard.

Tesco cashier: ‘Right we now owe you £300. Will tenners and twenties be OK? Here’s the keys to one of our lorries as well and the logbook, and this piece of paper confirms that you’re now a majority shareholder in Tesco PLC.’
March 28, 2025 at 12:27 PM
March 8, 2025 at 10:13 AM
BREAKING: ASDA, Tesco, Sainsbury’s, Morrisons, Lidl and Aldi announce emergency popcorn rationing of one bag per customer after sales soar due to people getting ready to watch Farage and Lowe publicly tear strips off each other over the weekend.
March 7, 2025 at 8:14 AM
A quick question. If ‘nobody cares about women’s football,’ why have Panini made a significant investment in launching the first-ever official WSL trading card game?
March 6, 2025 at 9:58 AM
The USA is threatening to withdraw ‘intelligence,’ and from what I have seen over the last couple of weeks it wouldn’t be any great loss.
March 5, 2025 at 2:35 PM
Windsor Castle isn’t a church you absolute ringpiece …
March 5, 2025 at 2:27 PM
You can be on Universal Credit AND have a job.
You can be on Universal Credit AND have a job.
You can be on Universal Credit AND have a job.
You can be on Universal Credit AND have a job.
You can be on Universal Credit AND have a job.

Now repeat that back. I want to make sure you’ve understood.
December 2, 2024 at 11:25 AM
Just to let you all know. Instead of sending Christmas cards this year, I’m just not because I can’t be f****** bothered.
December 1, 2024 at 11:01 AM
The TV Licence will be going up by £5 in 2025, but at the same time there’s a very good chance that the announcement of the next host of Match Of The Day will make every Daily Mail reader in Britain spontaneously combust so I’m happy to let it slide.
November 30, 2024 at 11:47 AM
“It’s not about shortening life. It’s about shortening death.”

Bang on.
November 29, 2024 at 2:04 PM
If you’re ‘tubby’ or ‘bald-headed,’ please don’t take Sir Rod Stewart’s words to heart. He was aiming them solely at Gregg Wallace. That’s how it works.
November 29, 2024 at 11:43 AM
… and shortly afterwards, Parliament will then laugh at it and make farty noises.
November 27, 2024 at 8:47 PM
I saw these USB-powered oversized heated hoodies in Lidl earlier for £19.99. I know this is an extreme example, but in theory you could charge up a cheap and cheerful power bank during the day at work or elsewhere, and then use it at home to run this hoodie in the evening.

Just saying.
November 27, 2024 at 4:52 PM
It’s the day before Thanksgiving, and it’s around 9.45am in the UK, and so around 3.45am in Wichita, Kansas, USA. We are just a few hours away from the exact 37th anniversary of Neal and Del realising that those aren’t pillows.
November 27, 2024 at 9:48 AM
I’m not sure which is weaker, the UK government petition website’s location check or that pop-up on the iPlayer that asks if you have a TV Licence.
November 26, 2024 at 8:45 PM
All these petition people calling for a general election are going to be so mad when their wish comes true, and then as a result the UK is also compelled to revoke Article 50 and rejoin the EU because that petition on the same platform had 6.1m signatures and there would be a solid legal argument.
November 26, 2024 at 8:57 AM
The BBC have announced the presenters for Sports Personality Of The Year.

Experienced presenter. Degree in broadcasting, football playing career.

Experienced presenter. Represented Wales / Great Britain in gymnastics.

Experienced presenter / journalist. Former president, Rugby Football League.
November 25, 2024 at 4:25 PM
SCHOOLS: Dear Parent. All of our children were weighed recently, and your child's BMI would indicate that they are overweight. For more information about healthier lifestyle choices, please read the attached leaflet.

ALSO SCHOOLS:
November 25, 2024 at 8:15 AM
Just got home to a devastating scene in Essex.
November 24, 2024 at 4:52 PM
OFFERED FOR SWAP. I bought a hot chocolate at a local Christmas market tonight. Looking to swap for a six-bed detached house in North London with two garages and a pool.
November 23, 2024 at 10:31 PM
Absolute top-level romantic getaway in Faringdon, Oxfordshire. Spend a few hours browsing the aisles, getting so excited about the latest ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ canvases that you can’t keep your hands off each other and it develops into an all-night shagathon upstairs.
November 23, 2024 at 10:04 PM
HAPPY 33RD BIRTHDAY to a show that was the pinnacle of Saturday night TV. Nothing since has come even close.
November 23, 2024 at 12:55 PM