Marcus-bo-MacKenzie
@marcmack.bsky.social
Frisbee golf dilettante, alpaca whisperer
[hitting on my friend’s side piece]
So … is there a mister-ess?
So … is there a mister-ess?
February 14, 2026 at 1:00 AM
[hitting on my friend’s side piece]
So … is there a mister-ess?
So … is there a mister-ess?
“Not purring, huh? Let me look up your account … ah. I see you’re on Cat Basic. You’ll need at least Cat Plus to get the purring, or Cat Premium for head bumps”
Coming soon: CaaS (Cat as a Service)
Coming soon: CaaS (Cat as a Service)
February 11, 2026 at 1:01 AM
“Not purring, huh? Let me look up your account … ah. I see you’re on Cat Basic. You’ll need at least Cat Plus to get the purring, or Cat Premium for head bumps”
Coming soon: CaaS (Cat as a Service)
Coming soon: CaaS (Cat as a Service)
“Ugh, fine. I don’t want to get a failing grade, so I guess I’ll do the cursing for all of us”
The Blair Witch Group Project
The Blair Witch Group Project
February 7, 2026 at 1:00 AM
“Ugh, fine. I don’t want to get a failing grade, so I guess I’ll do the cursing for all of us”
The Blair Witch Group Project
The Blair Witch Group Project
When they tell you they have the gift of gab, and you’re just hoping they have a gift receipt.
January 25, 2026 at 1:11 AM
When they tell you they have the gift of gab, and you’re just hoping they have a gift receipt.
The lemon is a hybrid of the citron and the bitter orange, possibly first appearing in the 1st millennium BC in what is now northeastern India.
Life never *gave* us lemons. We fucking made them.
Life never *gave* us lemons. We fucking made them.
December 31, 2025 at 1:03 AM
The lemon is a hybrid of the citron and the bitter orange, possibly first appearing in the 1st millennium BC in what is now northeastern India.
Life never *gave* us lemons. We fucking made them.
Life never *gave* us lemons. We fucking made them.
Perpetually disappointed that this book isn’t real
December 19, 2025 at 1:16 AM
Perpetually disappointed that this book isn’t real
Why doesn’t the doctor ever pull out her pad and say “I’m writing you a prescription for butter and cream, and I’m putting you on daily bacon”
December 17, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Why doesn’t the doctor ever pull out her pad and say “I’m writing you a prescription for butter and cream, and I’m putting you on daily bacon”
A half truth, plus a quarter fact, plus a quarter sooth, equals a single valid statement.
December 11, 2025 at 1:00 AM
A half truth, plus a quarter fact, plus a quarter sooth, equals a single valid statement.
Reposted by Marcus-bo-MacKenzie
If you don’t know what to give someone for Christmas, you can always give them the heebie-jeebies.
December 10, 2025 at 12:58 AM
If you don’t know what to give someone for Christmas, you can always give them the heebie-jeebies.
Every time they draw the lottery numbers I think “That’s so random!”
December 9, 2025 at 12:40 AM
Every time they draw the lottery numbers I think “That’s so random!”
All I want for Christmas are the Epstein files
December 4, 2025 at 1:53 AM
All I want for Christmas are the Epstein files
Reposted by Marcus-bo-MacKenzie
We had 69. The new generation only has 67. Shrinkflation is no joke.
November 20, 2025 at 1:02 AM
We had 69. The new generation only has 67. Shrinkflation is no joke.
Reposted by Marcus-bo-MacKenzie
Feels like no matter how much daylight we save, the darkness still persists.
November 7, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Feels like no matter how much daylight we save, the darkness still persists.
You scratch my humpback, and I’ll scratch yours.
A classic Quid-Pro-Quasimodo
A classic Quid-Pro-Quasimodo
October 30, 2025 at 12:05 AM
You scratch my humpback, and I’ll scratch yours.
A classic Quid-Pro-Quasimodo
A classic Quid-Pro-Quasimodo
Reposted by Marcus-bo-MacKenzie
There is poetry in everyone.
October 3, 2025 at 11:58 PM
There is poetry in everyone.
Quasimodo watched, a single tear running down his cheek, as Esmeralda walked off arm in arm with his cousin who was in fairness, he thought, the the real Totalmodo.
September 5, 2025 at 12:02 AM
Quasimodo watched, a single tear running down his cheek, as Esmeralda walked off arm in arm with his cousin who was in fairness, he thought, the the real Totalmodo.
You contain multitudes*
*limit three tudes per customer
*limit three tudes per customer
September 3, 2025 at 11:54 PM
You contain multitudes*
*limit three tudes per customer
*limit three tudes per customer
God gives His sexiest battles to His horniest soldiers
September 2, 2025 at 11:46 PM
God gives His sexiest battles to His horniest soldiers
“Welcome back to my YouTube channel where I talk exclusively about symbiotic relationships between fungi and algae. If you’re new here, remember to lichen subscribe”
September 2, 2025 at 12:00 AM
“Welcome back to my YouTube channel where I talk exclusively about symbiotic relationships between fungi and algae. If you’re new here, remember to lichen subscribe”
Jeff Bezos should shorten the WaPo slogan to just “Democracy Dies”
August 30, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Jeff Bezos should shorten the WaPo slogan to just “Democracy Dies”
Reposted by Marcus-bo-MacKenzie
I'll be at the library on Sept 6th at 10am signing books. I'm not an author or anything I just like writing my name on books.
August 26, 2025 at 11:58 PM
I'll be at the library on Sept 6th at 10am signing books. I'm not an author or anything I just like writing my name on books.
Happy birthday wishes are in order for my beloved, @theanastasia.bsky.social Do hop over to her feed to leave her appropriately good wishes for her birthday ☺️🎂
August 21, 2025 at 1:30 PM
Happy birthday wishes are in order for my beloved, @theanastasia.bsky.social Do hop over to her feed to leave her appropriately good wishes for her birthday ☺️🎂
Women gush:
“He makes me feel seen”
“He makes me feel heard”
They never appreciate that I make them feel smelled.
“He makes me feel seen”
“He makes me feel heard”
They never appreciate that I make them feel smelled.
August 6, 2025 at 11:59 PM
Women gush:
“He makes me feel seen”
“He makes me feel heard”
They never appreciate that I make them feel smelled.
“He makes me feel seen”
“He makes me feel heard”
They never appreciate that I make them feel smelled.
I wonder if models have to be tall because the fashion industry wants to hold women to impossible height standards too.
August 5, 2025 at 12:02 AM
I wonder if models have to be tall because the fashion industry wants to hold women to impossible height standards too.