Milo, mars system
@marssysmilo.bsky.social
Milos personal account, member of @MarsSys.bsky.social
25
25
Reposted by Milo, mars system
I wish we had another chance
even if not for me
for my headmates
they deserve better than this life
they havent even been able to live most of it
trapped away hiding from the pain
I wish they could have been happy
all of them
even if not for me
for my headmates
they deserve better than this life
they havent even been able to live most of it
trapped away hiding from the pain
I wish they could have been happy
all of them
November 24, 2025 at 2:07 PM
I wish we had another chance
even if not for me
for my headmates
they deserve better than this life
they havent even been able to live most of it
trapped away hiding from the pain
I wish they could have been happy
all of them
even if not for me
for my headmates
they deserve better than this life
they havent even been able to live most of it
trapped away hiding from the pain
I wish they could have been happy
all of them
Reposted by Milo, mars system
could I have found love without it being haunted by the trauma of witnessing our suffering
giving PTSD to everyone around us as our body fails and they watch us suffer
being able to fall in love without caveats, without warnings
without constantly worrying about traumatising the ones i love most
giving PTSD to everyone around us as our body fails and they watch us suffer
being able to fall in love without caveats, without warnings
without constantly worrying about traumatising the ones i love most
November 24, 2025 at 2:07 PM
could I have found love without it being haunted by the trauma of witnessing our suffering
giving PTSD to everyone around us as our body fails and they watch us suffer
being able to fall in love without caveats, without warnings
without constantly worrying about traumatising the ones i love most
giving PTSD to everyone around us as our body fails and they watch us suffer
being able to fall in love without caveats, without warnings
without constantly worrying about traumatising the ones i love most
Reposted by Milo, mars system
could the kids have had a longer lasting safer space to process what happened to us
to heal without whole new traumas and pain hitting them every time they come out.
i wish they could have grown and healed and flourished
now i cant even consider the possibility of them processing our death
to heal without whole new traumas and pain hitting them every time they come out.
i wish they could have grown and healed and flourished
now i cant even consider the possibility of them processing our death
November 24, 2025 at 2:07 PM
could the kids have had a longer lasting safer space to process what happened to us
to heal without whole new traumas and pain hitting them every time they come out.
i wish they could have grown and healed and flourished
now i cant even consider the possibility of them processing our death
to heal without whole new traumas and pain hitting them every time they come out.
i wish they could have grown and healed and flourished
now i cant even consider the possibility of them processing our death
Reposted by Milo, mars system
would we have transitioned earlier, with less on our plate?
would we have done more with it?
phone calls every day and i have so little energy to speak it just leaves me with a raspy croak, misgendered no matter what
bottom hasn't ever even been considered, too impossible and far away
would we have done more with it?
phone calls every day and i have so little energy to speak it just leaves me with a raspy croak, misgendered no matter what
bottom hasn't ever even been considered, too impossible and far away
November 24, 2025 at 2:07 PM
would we have transitioned earlier, with less on our plate?
would we have done more with it?
phone calls every day and i have so little energy to speak it just leaves me with a raspy croak, misgendered no matter what
bottom hasn't ever even been considered, too impossible and far away
would we have done more with it?
phone calls every day and i have so little energy to speak it just leaves me with a raspy croak, misgendered no matter what
bottom hasn't ever even been considered, too impossible and far away
Reposted by Milo, mars system
Milo:
thinking about an alternate life
if we didnt get sick
would we have had more time to exist
or would we have gotten sick some different time
we were probably doomed anyway, genetic factors combined with trauma
but I'd like to hope in another life we could have had a life without illness
thinking about an alternate life
if we didnt get sick
would we have had more time to exist
or would we have gotten sick some different time
we were probably doomed anyway, genetic factors combined with trauma
but I'd like to hope in another life we could have had a life without illness
November 24, 2025 at 2:07 PM
Milo:
thinking about an alternate life
if we didnt get sick
would we have had more time to exist
or would we have gotten sick some different time
we were probably doomed anyway, genetic factors combined with trauma
but I'd like to hope in another life we could have had a life without illness
thinking about an alternate life
if we didnt get sick
would we have had more time to exist
or would we have gotten sick some different time
we were probably doomed anyway, genetic factors combined with trauma
but I'd like to hope in another life we could have had a life without illness
relevant
i wish i could say it would get better and all go away some day
i wish i could say it would get better and all go away some day
November 24, 2025 at 2:57 PM
relevant
i wish i could say it would get better and all go away some day
i wish i could say it would get better and all go away some day
while i was writing this I felt Amanda's presence in co con
it's good to know that she's still around
but she was very emotional
it seemed really upsetting to her
i wish i could make it easier, soften the blow
not only being this sick, but she also lost her relationship during the breakup
it's good to know that she's still around
but she was very emotional
it seemed really upsetting to her
i wish i could make it easier, soften the blow
not only being this sick, but she also lost her relationship during the breakup
and now it's all gone
memory gaps are back
i dont often feel their presence in co con
i don't find their notes and messages anymore
i only have traces of memories from years ago
they probably arent even aware of how sick we are
they dont know what has happened, where its headed, we are dying
memory gaps are back
i dont often feel their presence in co con
i don't find their notes and messages anymore
i only have traces of memories from years ago
they probably arent even aware of how sick we are
they dont know what has happened, where its headed, we are dying
November 16, 2025 at 10:41 PM
while i was writing this I felt Amanda's presence in co con
it's good to know that she's still around
but she was very emotional
it seemed really upsetting to her
i wish i could make it easier, soften the blow
not only being this sick, but she also lost her relationship during the breakup
it's good to know that she's still around
but she was very emotional
it seemed really upsetting to her
i wish i could make it easier, soften the blow
not only being this sick, but she also lost her relationship during the breakup
was looking at some old photos of me, in 2022 before my big decline in 23 and 24
my face and emotions looked so different
even though already sick
there was some level of bliss and nativity
you can visibly see how much changed for me after i lost everything
my brain will never be the same again
my face and emotions looked so different
even though already sick
there was some level of bliss and nativity
you can visibly see how much changed for me after i lost everything
my brain will never be the same again
November 16, 2025 at 10:14 PM
was looking at some old photos of me, in 2022 before my big decline in 23 and 24
my face and emotions looked so different
even though already sick
there was some level of bliss and nativity
you can visibly see how much changed for me after i lost everything
my brain will never be the same again
my face and emotions looked so different
even though already sick
there was some level of bliss and nativity
you can visibly see how much changed for me after i lost everything
my brain will never be the same again
started with a new therapist, and she's been really helpful and im really glad
seems like she'll be able to help me deal with everything, even if it just focuses on my own headspace and coping, not as much my headmates
helping me cope better day to day and reducing the stress on my loved ones
seems like she'll be able to help me deal with everything, even if it just focuses on my own headspace and coping, not as much my headmates
helping me cope better day to day and reducing the stress on my loved ones
November 13, 2025 at 10:50 PM
started with a new therapist, and she's been really helpful and im really glad
seems like she'll be able to help me deal with everything, even if it just focuses on my own headspace and coping, not as much my headmates
helping me cope better day to day and reducing the stress on my loved ones
seems like she'll be able to help me deal with everything, even if it just focuses on my own headspace and coping, not as much my headmates
helping me cope better day to day and reducing the stress on my loved ones
y'all i think i may be unwell
November 10, 2025 at 1:09 PM
y'all i think i may be unwell
bleh just booked a surgery for a few weeks from now that I'm very much not looking forward to
November 10, 2025 at 2:14 AM
bleh just booked a surgery for a few weeks from now that I'm very much not looking forward to
it just happens i dont even think about it
Girlfriend keeps biting me help
November 2, 2025 at 11:02 PM
it just happens i dont even think about it
ngl its super relieving to know my tcg brain is still there and working,
especially given this deck allowed me to play it pretty hard
using the odds to stack my deck and get what i need into and out of my hand, and stacking boosts and reductions in damage to perfectly knock out each Pokemon
especially given this deck allowed me to play it pretty hard
using the odds to stack my deck and get what i need into and out of my hand, and stacking boosts and reductions in damage to perfectly knock out each Pokemon
outing success I went 3:0 at prerelease and then won the following fun game too
good to know i have some of my old tcg brain still left over
now banned from outside for at least a month, depending on if my surgery gets scheduled in that period
at least I have one hell of a model backlog for it
good to know i have some of my old tcg brain still left over
now banned from outside for at least a month, depending on if my surgery gets scheduled in that period
at least I have one hell of a model backlog for it
November 2, 2025 at 10:34 PM
ngl its super relieving to know my tcg brain is still there and working,
especially given this deck allowed me to play it pretty hard
using the odds to stack my deck and get what i need into and out of my hand, and stacking boosts and reductions in damage to perfectly knock out each Pokemon
especially given this deck allowed me to play it pretty hard
using the odds to stack my deck and get what i need into and out of my hand, and stacking boosts and reductions in damage to perfectly knock out each Pokemon
i miss them a lot
all my headmates, but especially the kids. they brought a lot of joy to our life
I'd like to think our body was helped by not always being solemn and depressed like i tend to be these days
having those breakthroughs of happiness with the kids, it means a lot
all my headmates, but especially the kids. they brought a lot of joy to our life
I'd like to think our body was helped by not always being solemn and depressed like i tend to be these days
having those breakthroughs of happiness with the kids, it means a lot
was messing around posing a new toy we got
for a few moments i felt the kids being around
made me happy to know they were there, seeing the happy stuff
just to know they are ok
it helps a lot
for a few moments i felt the kids being around
made me happy to know they were there, seeing the happy stuff
just to know they are ok
it helps a lot
October 29, 2025 at 11:23 AM
i miss them a lot
all my headmates, but especially the kids. they brought a lot of joy to our life
I'd like to think our body was helped by not always being solemn and depressed like i tend to be these days
having those breakthroughs of happiness with the kids, it means a lot
all my headmates, but especially the kids. they brought a lot of joy to our life
I'd like to think our body was helped by not always being solemn and depressed like i tend to be these days
having those breakthroughs of happiness with the kids, it means a lot
was messing around posing a new toy we got
for a few moments i felt the kids being around
made me happy to know they were there, seeing the happy stuff
just to know they are ok
it helps a lot
for a few moments i felt the kids being around
made me happy to know they were there, seeing the happy stuff
just to know they are ok
it helps a lot
October 29, 2025 at 11:02 AM
was messing around posing a new toy we got
for a few moments i felt the kids being around
made me happy to know they were there, seeing the happy stuff
just to know they are ok
it helps a lot
for a few moments i felt the kids being around
made me happy to know they were there, seeing the happy stuff
just to know they are ok
it helps a lot
he's arrived
genuinely a holy grail for me
I've been looking for one of these for years now
genuinely a holy grail for me
I've been looking for one of these for years now
October 29, 2025 at 12:35 AM
he's arrived
genuinely a holy grail for me
I've been looking for one of these for years now
genuinely a holy grail for me
I've been looking for one of these for years now
unfortunate news for all of y'all
I'm turning into a hopeless romantic again and there is nothing anyone can do to stop me
like i genuinely spent what felt like an hour today with my girlfriend with me going on about how love feels and how special it is and all the fuzzies and everything
I'm turning into a hopeless romantic again and there is nothing anyone can do to stop me
like i genuinely spent what felt like an hour today with my girlfriend with me going on about how love feels and how special it is and all the fuzzies and everything
October 21, 2025 at 4:52 AM
unfortunate news for all of y'all
I'm turning into a hopeless romantic again and there is nothing anyone can do to stop me
like i genuinely spent what felt like an hour today with my girlfriend with me going on about how love feels and how special it is and all the fuzzies and everything
I'm turning into a hopeless romantic again and there is nothing anyone can do to stop me
like i genuinely spent what felt like an hour today with my girlfriend with me going on about how love feels and how special it is and all the fuzzies and everything
idk if I've spoken about this much, at least not on bsky
after our Covid infection in 2023, it was noticed by my carers, family, friends and partner that we were struggling cognitively, more and more as months went by,
and it scared the crap out of us. especially when we used to have a sharp mind
after our Covid infection in 2023, it was noticed by my carers, family, friends and partner that we were struggling cognitively, more and more as months went by,
and it scared the crap out of us. especially when we used to have a sharp mind
Covid-19 roughly doubled the risk of vascular dementia in adults 50+ and for those with pre-existing mental illness the risk rose ~5x.
A similar signal appears after other viral infections - a reminder that viruses aren’t "mild" when it comes to brain health 🧠
www.nature.com/articles/s44...
A similar signal appears after other viral infections - a reminder that viruses aren’t "mild" when it comes to brain health 🧠
www.nature.com/articles/s44...
COVID-19 infection associated with increased risk of new-onset vascular dementia in adults ≥50 years - npj Dementia
npj Dementia - COVID-19 infection associated with increased risk of new-onset vascular dementia in adults ≥50 years
www.nature.com
October 21, 2025 at 4:25 AM
idk if I've spoken about this much, at least not on bsky
after our Covid infection in 2023, it was noticed by my carers, family, friends and partner that we were struggling cognitively, more and more as months went by,
and it scared the crap out of us. especially when we used to have a sharp mind
after our Covid infection in 2023, it was noticed by my carers, family, friends and partner that we were struggling cognitively, more and more as months went by,
and it scared the crap out of us. especially when we used to have a sharp mind
i love my best friend
she's going through some intense stuff right now
im just glad I have her and that we've been able to get so close despite how far away we are from each other
but right now i have never been this scared for someone i love
she's going through some intense stuff right now
im just glad I have her and that we've been able to get so close despite how far away we are from each other
but right now i have never been this scared for someone i love
October 15, 2025 at 12:07 PM
i love my best friend
she's going through some intense stuff right now
im just glad I have her and that we've been able to get so close despite how far away we are from each other
but right now i have never been this scared for someone i love
she's going through some intense stuff right now
im just glad I have her and that we've been able to get so close despite how far away we are from each other
but right now i have never been this scared for someone i love
Reposted by Milo, mars system
so if you are worried this is about you, and im still talking with you occasionally, its not you.
also weekly reminder y'all go to fucking therapy oh my god
trust me itll all be worth it once you get a stable therapist you can see long term and support you through life's difficulties
also weekly reminder y'all go to fucking therapy oh my god
trust me itll all be worth it once you get a stable therapist you can see long term and support you through life's difficulties
October 13, 2025 at 11:44 PM
so if you are worried this is about you, and im still talking with you occasionally, its not you.
also weekly reminder y'all go to fucking therapy oh my god
trust me itll all be worth it once you get a stable therapist you can see long term and support you through life's difficulties
also weekly reminder y'all go to fucking therapy oh my god
trust me itll all be worth it once you get a stable therapist you can see long term and support you through life's difficulties
and before people go worrying this is about them because let's be honest pretty much everyone around me is struggling with something of some kind, and im ok with having those people in my life
the difference is willingness to improve and grow
the difference is willingness to improve and grow
bitches be having unmanaged mental illness and they are absolutely making it other people's problem
October 13, 2025 at 11:44 PM
and before people go worrying this is about them because let's be honest pretty much everyone around me is struggling with something of some kind, and im ok with having those people in my life
the difference is willingness to improve and grow
the difference is willingness to improve and grow
bitches be having unmanaged mental illness and they are absolutely making it other people's problem
October 13, 2025 at 11:15 PM
bitches be having unmanaged mental illness and they are absolutely making it other people's problem
bleh
when doing the testing the other day, there was a slip up that lead to one of my wounds being improperly dressed for a few hours
did another dressing change today
when doing the testing the other day, there was a slip up that lead to one of my wounds being improperly dressed for a few hours
did another dressing change today
October 4, 2025 at 8:44 AM
bleh
when doing the testing the other day, there was a slip up that lead to one of my wounds being improperly dressed for a few hours
did another dressing change today
when doing the testing the other day, there was a slip up that lead to one of my wounds being improperly dressed for a few hours
did another dressing change today
bleh not doing well fucking meds turns out are important
just till tomorrow night and I should be stablised again properly
randomly started crying for 30s and then stopped
sudden jabs of panic and fear
just till tomorrow night and I should be stablised again properly
randomly started crying for 30s and then stopped
sudden jabs of panic and fear
September 28, 2025 at 7:11 AM
bleh not doing well fucking meds turns out are important
just till tomorrow night and I should be stablised again properly
randomly started crying for 30s and then stopped
sudden jabs of panic and fear
just till tomorrow night and I should be stablised again properly
randomly started crying for 30s and then stopped
sudden jabs of panic and fear