Matt Clifton
@matteawan.bsky.social
Not the one from Postman Pat. Cookbook author, poet, gardener, Mac fixer-upper, jewel thief, human borzoi.
Pinned
Matt Clifton
@matteawan.bsky.social
· Nov 11
Adding a cheeky slug from the hip flask to every capful of laundry detergent
@slingtv.bsky.social seems to have one channel for every show in its guide, and now I feel like I don’t understand how television works AT ALL.
September 25, 2025 at 2:47 AM
@slingtv.bsky.social seems to have one channel for every show in its guide, and now I feel like I don’t understand how television works AT ALL.
One of the most egregious questions in journalism is “how FEELING were you?” “You had your house possessed? How angry were you?” “You lost the lottery by one number? How disappointed were you?” It’s endemic in Britain (looking at you Radio 4) and starting to creep into American interviews. Stop it.
August 28, 2025 at 2:04 AM
One of the most egregious questions in journalism is “how FEELING were you?” “You had your house possessed? How angry were you?” “You lost the lottery by one number? How disappointed were you?” It’s endemic in Britain (looking at you Radio 4) and starting to creep into American interviews. Stop it.
I miss @crimershow
November 12, 2024 at 3:36 AM
I miss @crimershow
Adding a cheeky slug from the hip flask to every capful of laundry detergent
November 11, 2024 at 10:55 PM
Adding a cheeky slug from the hip flask to every capful of laundry detergent
Saw yer ma buying the last turkey in Asda.
November 11, 2024 at 1:34 PM
Saw yer ma buying the last turkey in Asda.
Today’s NYT Connections can do one. Especially those three words, you know who you are. #connections
November 11, 2024 at 12:31 PM
Today’s NYT Connections can do one. Especially those three words, you know who you are. #connections
dfw you accidentally type an airport code
November 9, 2024 at 5:03 PM
dfw you accidentally type an airport code
This album is bangers all the way down #bethgibbons
November 8, 2024 at 9:27 PM
This album is bangers all the way down #bethgibbons
Guys we didn’t mean fall back that far
November 8, 2024 at 9:22 PM
Guys we didn’t mean fall back that far
Reposted by Matt Clifton
It's easier to drain a moat of water than it is to remove its ghosts. On long redundant bridges, absence of water doesn't stop those crossing them from hearing invisible splashes or the rhythmic sound of oars. Now dry circles fiercely hold their phantoms. – #CJosiffe #Ghosts
November 8, 2024 at 4:47 PM
I can’t tell you how immeasurably helpful it would be if Photos automatically identified and filtered memes and other assorted hilarities I’ve saved into my phone. It’s like 50% of the content.
November 8, 2024 at 1:36 PM
I can’t tell you how immeasurably helpful it would be if Photos automatically identified and filtered memes and other assorted hilarities I’ve saved into my phone. It’s like 50% of the content.
Great, hoisted by someone else’s petard, just my luck
November 8, 2024 at 6:54 AM
Great, hoisted by someone else’s petard, just my luck
I don’t know who needs to hear this tonight but Tums are gluten free
November 8, 2024 at 3:43 AM
I don’t know who needs to hear this tonight but Tums are gluten free
Reposted by Matt Clifton
Never mind, son. Mebbe next year, alright?*
*2028
*2028
November 7, 2024 at 11:55 PM
Never mind, son. Mebbe next year, alright?*
*2028
*2028
As well as “alt text” I’d appreciate a feature where whenever someone posts a pic of their interior space including books I can get a list of all the books I see, like a normal person, so I don’t have to zoom in every time, like a creepy weirdo would.
November 7, 2024 at 10:48 PM
As well as “alt text” I’d appreciate a feature where whenever someone posts a pic of their interior space including books I can get a list of all the books I see, like a normal person, so I don’t have to zoom in every time, like a creepy weirdo would.
I’m not doing that “I’m over 50 and all new music is crap” thing, but genuinely the only Taylor Swift song I know is the one with the goat.
November 5, 2024 at 7:33 PM
I’m not doing that “I’m over 50 and all new music is crap” thing, but genuinely the only Taylor Swift song I know is the one with the goat.
Can’t believe it’s only 1460 days till the election. What are we doing.
November 5, 2024 at 2:15 PM
Can’t believe it’s only 1460 days till the election. What are we doing.
Once again Tim Walz has emailed me using the phrase “let’s change history” and I want to sit him down with a blackboard and a large piece of chalk and say Sir,
November 4, 2024 at 11:10 PM
Once again Tim Walz has emailed me using the phrase “let’s change history” and I want to sit him down with a blackboard and a large piece of chalk and say Sir,
As usual this year I will be participating in Don’t Write a Novel in November
November 2, 2024 at 9:26 PM
As usual this year I will be participating in Don’t Write a Novel in November
Fuck you internet for making me look up what a “Markiplier” is
October 29, 2024 at 2:42 AM
Fuck you internet for making me look up what a “Markiplier” is
This country started going downhill when Home Depot invited me to review the box of screws I’d just purchased.
October 27, 2024 at 2:28 PM
This country started going downhill when Home Depot invited me to review the box of screws I’d just purchased.
Incandescent at the Britbox decision to classify “Coming soon” as its own show in the database. “S1E1” is one show, “S1S2” is a totally different show and so on. Their back end must be an absolute scream.
October 27, 2024 at 2:23 PM
Incandescent at the Britbox decision to classify “Coming soon” as its own show in the database. “S1E1” is one show, “S1S2” is a totally different show and so on. Their back end must be an absolute scream.
A mallow volunteer in one of my vegetable beds. I should move it somewhere now because by the time Spring comes I’ll forget it’s there. #gardening
October 20, 2024 at 1:50 PM
A mallow volunteer in one of my vegetable beds. I should move it somewhere now because by the time Spring comes I’ll forget it’s there. #gardening