wife: how was guarding the two paths today, honey?

guard: [looking away] fine

wife: did something happen?

guard: [tearing up] no

wife: would the other guard tell me something happened?

I love when you look at the wikipedia page for a band and it has that graph which displays the different band members gender and sexuality over time, by the flag

JD Vance? Is that like some advanced version of the program I use to rip mp3s from YouTube to load onto my iRiver H340?

Normalise giving your homies a little kiss on the neck

I'm not superstitious, and I don't believe in Latin, but when a band had two guitarists that are left-handed that is fucked up and I don't trust them

Skaters are a type of nerd

Looking at photos of the NYC skyline from the late 20th century and declaring them fake, I've been there and those towers don't exist