shohei otani is distracted because he’s training his umamusume aces for the upcoming leo cup in between innings. he has a decent oguri cap but keeps missing groundwork sparks on his summer maru runs which as we all know is very frustrating

unfortunately you go straight from locktober into no nut november

might build a 3rd debuffer instead of continuing to fail at making a viable ace for leo cup

Moving right won’t help the Democrats win elections. Moving left won’t help the Democrats win elections. The only thing that will help is moving down. It’s time for the Democrats to become the party of molemen

Back on my bullshit*

*reading an entire book in one sitting instead of working on work tasks while at work

though I guess the palm would be the roof of the mouth in this case

surely it's the side of the thumb & index finger

this post has done more damage to my psyche than all other Louvre posts combined

like what the fuck do you mean one hour old cock???? huh?? 😵‍💫😵‍💫

my body is a 3 wick candle that god left burning unattended

perhaps this?

good news: I don’t have cervical cancer! bad news: I wrote a short film about it. and to make things even worse, I launched a crowdfunding campaign to try and make it a real short film. GIRLIE is live at girlieshort.com. “check it out”????

I thought aws was supposed to be pretty ubiquitous but I have not encountered even 1 example of this supposedly massive outage and I basically spend all day online

this occlupanid, Dinonexus gigantus, was found in the cup cabinet at my workplace. It was used to hold a stack of cups inside of their plastic sleeve, but may have originated elsewhere. Nonetheless this discovery may provide insight into the natural habitat of this species, which remains mysterious.

I hate the gapey slut power outlets at the airport like why the hell can't you just grip my charger so that it doesn't fall out every 2 minutes?

if my group chats ever leaked the worst thing I think you could find are my cancelable food opinions. maybe some Luigi glazing but even then it's not anything beyond what I'd post on main

ah fuck. rip :(

so apparently blue sky does in fact use your images to train AI (they'll try and be sneaky and say *they* don't train it, but they *do* give the images over to a 3rd party)

so uh just a heads up in case you plan on posting your art here. I'd recommend not doing so.

spoken word!

the aforementioned freak in context

you gotta do 9 of these 9-9-9 boxes. they're calling it the 9-9-9-9 challenge

doing this with half-dogs and mini-beers is so disrespectful to the spirit of the challenge that's all about exceeding your recommended sodium intake by 4000% while getting blind drunk that i'm inclined to say this has cost the phillies whatever mandate of heaven they may have had

i like this one

Don’t get mad at the muppets for playing the Riyadh Comedy Festival, it’s the only way they can save the theater