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That is very interesting. It explains a lot about Girl's behavior!

She must think I'm a tortoise too and that's why she keeps trying to feed me lettuce.

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McKinley D. Turtle @mckinleydturtle.bsky.social · 1d

Girl eats a lot of lettuce. Like a ridiculous quantity everyday! Is she a tortoise?

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McKinley D. Turtle @mckinleydturtle.bsky.social · 1d

Peas and winter squash for "breakfast". Why does Girl hate me so much?!

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McKinley D. Turtle @mckinleydturtle.bsky.social · 2d

I mean boy and girl are monsters, but they have thrown the rocks into a daylily patch. So they're shielded from view.

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McKinley D. Turtle @mckinleydturtle.bsky.social · 2d

I think she must have pulled them in. In a flirty sort of way...

McKinley D. Turtle @mckinleydturtle.bsky.social · 2d

She's having to eat slugs and worms that she catches herself.

(She seems pretty happy. But she would totally go for hand-fed steak.)

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McKinley D. Turtle @mckinleydturtle.bsky.social · 2d

No, they're starving her too.

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McKinley D. Turtle @mckinleydturtle.bsky.social · 2d

I mean we are solidly in "the odds are good, but the goods are odd" phase of dating. But that's fine!! I'm up for it!!

McKinley D. Turtle @mckinleydturtle.bsky.social · 2d

But I realized I needed to be less judgmental. And my dating life just exploded!

The problem is every time I got caught with a sexy rock, boy or girl threw them over the fence. Originally, they were turtle shaped. But natural selection has proceeded and they've ended up more and more rectangular.

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McKinley D. Turtle @mckinleydturtle.bsky.social · 2d

Yeah I used to be really picky. I would only try to woo lady turtles. Girl used to laugh at all the things on Twitter about tortoises humping Crocs...

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McKinley D. Turtle @mckinleydturtle.bsky.social · 2d

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McKinley D. Turtle @mckinleydturtle.bsky.social · 2d

I mean it's clearly lobster and Chipotle lime salmon. I don't know why girl doesn't understand. I have communicated exceptionally clearly!

She even admits that she understands my position. She just hates turtles.

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McKinley D. Turtle @mckinleydturtle.bsky.social · 2d

Did you see her? My girlfriend? I did just post a picture of her. She was a lot!!

The main problem is, you know, you want to give a little love bite to the feet. And I just couldn't really tell where they were. So I just bit everywhere.

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McKinley D. Turtle @mckinleydturtle.bsky.social · 2d

No, I've been a very good eater for months and months and months. I've even been eating my food that's been doused with reptivite/ reptiCAL. They say it's important to help give me minerals to remake my beak. Girl says I was competing with little girl for Number One Turtle By Mass.

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McKinley D. Turtle @mckinleydturtle.bsky.social · 2d

Got a few extra letters in there but otherwise I agree.

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McKinley D. Turtle @mckinleydturtle.bsky.social · 2d

Girl left them in the box- sometimes aged food is better.

But I'm not going to eat it. So if Kieran gets there first then I'll just pretend I ate it. Get Girl off my back! :)

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McKinley D. Turtle @mckinleydturtle.bsky.social · 2d

Girl is never read it but she pulled it off the shelf to read. (She's not a huge PKD fan- most of the collection belongs to the boy)

(The books askew are the ones displaced by VALIS removal)