Madison Metricula
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metricula.com
Madison Metricula
@metricula.com
Entertainer, horticulturist, musician, bird person, clown, atheist, Lady Three Names of the Neon-Haired Harpies, member of band The Salacious Crumbles (she/her)
metricula.com for MUSIC and OPINIONS
Raleigh, NC
DANI ORTHAC LIVES
Trying historical makeup methods! Today’s was burning the tip of a clove to use the soot as an eyebrow pencil! You can tell which brow I filled in and which was left plain. Soft look, matched my brow color

Pro tip: before you’re about to shower or wash your face is a great time to practice makeup!
February 15, 2026 at 10:18 PM
Reading a book about how to study and evaluate animal cognition from a primate researcher, and he’s describing the ins and outs of a particular group of captive chimps and how they essentially form and break power alliances. He described one chimp as “the Dick Cheney of the group, the kingmaker>>
February 15, 2026 at 9:04 PM
Gotta go, my ride’s here.
February 13, 2026 at 9:35 PM
MAKE IT MAKE SENSE
MAHA: Eating a giant steak cooked in butter alongside beef tallow fries and washing it down with coffee spiked with butter

Not MAHA: Clean air, clean water, health insurance, vaccines, disease monitoring, scientific research, food assistance, food safety, bike lanes
February 13, 2026 at 9:30 PM
Reposted by Madison Metricula
There's still time! Be someone's Valentine and get them the flying stuff they love.
February 13, 2026 at 9:08 PM
Reposted by Madison Metricula
When they make movies about this in the future they will tone down the cruelty of ICE and border patrol, like Spielberg did with Goeth in Schindler's List, because no one will believe they were actually this monstrous.
On Thanksgiving, the immigrant children held at the Dilley detention center gathered in the gym for what they thought was a holiday feast.

The kids salivated over a spread of turkey, sandwiches, pastries and pies, a family told me.

But the food wasn’t for detainees — it was for the staff.
February 13, 2026 at 8:32 PM
I want to go to Bahama Breeze before it closes
February 12, 2026 at 9:01 PM
Omg, the Jones Road “What the Foundation” (more a tinted moisturizer) RULES. It’s not for every skin type (and it’s geared toward mature skin), but I’m oily with dry underlying skin and it’s great for a “slap on and go” look just to even out redness but have it still look like my own skin.
February 10, 2026 at 7:03 PM
Reposted by Madison Metricula
Sen. Coons to Howard Lutnick: “You said casually, ‘Well, I looked at my name and how it appeared in them, as does everyone.’ No, everyone isn't worried about their names being in the Epstein files.”
February 10, 2026 at 3:40 PM
Reposted by Madison Metricula
Antisemitic Christian nationalist pastor Joel Webbon gripes that the United States sided with the communists in Russia during WWII instead of backing the "Christian nation" of Nazi Germany, likening it to the crowd freeing Barabbas while condemning Jesus to death in the Gospels.
February 9, 2026 at 5:44 PM
I haven’t watched Stranger Things since season 1 but I’m catching bits of s5; so much dialogue gets repeated!! It’s not been as fun to watch
February 8, 2026 at 4:51 AM
Reposted by Madison Metricula
Richard Dawkins: (emails a member of a child rape ring asking for help debunking a woman's article about the guy who runs the child rape ring)

His male fans: "How do you know Dawkins knew Jeffrey Epstein was running a child rape ring??? God you're so emotional"
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoO9...
February 6, 2026 at 10:30 PM
Reposted by Madison Metricula
'measles outbreak at the child prison' seems entirely avoidable, it's really the kind of thing that only happens if you do several unthinkably evil things on purpose all at once
February 2, 2026 at 4:31 AM
Honestly my favorite part of Rise of Skywalker was when they covered regular-ass horses in costumes to make them into Space Horses. Now *that’s* Star Wars
January 30, 2026 at 7:40 PM
Reposted by Madison Metricula
Sign up for the townhall with Rep Deborah Ross

docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1F...
January 28, 2026 at 4:20 AM
Reposted by Madison Metricula
Lots of guys with backwards ball caps and truck nutz never gonna listen to Philip Glass again
January 27, 2026 at 8:24 PM
Reposted by Madison Metricula
lol every one of us does this sort of thing all the time but for some reason we don't feel the need to send out press releases about it.
“And we didn’t even kill him!”
January 27, 2026 at 3:31 AM
“Defensive shots” against a man pinned down flat by five agents and blinded by pepper spray?
January 24, 2026 at 9:12 PM
New thermo-sensitive gel nail color!! A cascade of shades of green
January 23, 2026 at 9:11 PM
Reposted by Madison Metricula
"My husband complains about the cold," the man said. "Can you teach me a spell to keep him warm?"

"I can teach you to bind hair into a net to catch heat," the wizard said, "using arcane counting and a pair of fine wands."

After a while, the man said "Isn't this knitting?"

"This, too, is magic."
January 23, 2026 at 5:20 PM
Watching the Smith testimony because I’m a sicko
January 22, 2026 at 3:38 PM
Is Trump done with his televised rant yet
January 20, 2026 at 8:20 PM
Reposted by Madison Metricula
Well, it’s the 9th anniversary of this today. No special reason for mentioning it now, obviously
January 20, 2026 at 9:25 AM
In today’s issue of Nazi Watch I learned that the Scentbird (a fragrance subscription service) CEO said that “Hitler wasn’t really evil” because he provided murdered souls with “opportunities” for spiritual learning.
January 19, 2026 at 3:56 PM
I named the lone baby fish in my fry box Franklin Bigglesdootie
January 16, 2026 at 6:41 PM