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A Local Cryptid

@michelleheller.bsky.social

300 followers 120 following 2.2K posts

Michelle Heller (she/her) Horror Author | Movie Fanatic | General Weirdo Definitely, totally human, don't worry about it 🚫NO GEN AI🚫 https://linktr.ee/Michelle_Heller

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · Mar 20

Hohoho!

I have switched platforms, solving a lot of purchasing issues for non-US buyers.

Links to the new store pages are in the comments!

#HorrorWriter #Indie #HorrorComedy #WriteSky #Booksky #HorrorAuthor

The release poster for my novel, The Worst Summer Of My Life. On the cover, a bored employee sits with her head resting on her hand. She wears a hot dog hat because she works at Wienervana, a hot dog stand inside a theme park.

Text around the cover, with arrows pointing to it:

"Idiots in cults"
"Horrors within your comprehension"
"Stressed out fast food employees"
"Female Protagonist (wishes she wasn't)"

"A gory, funny, cosmic horror adventure - Some guy I just made up"

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 15h

Why do these dipshits look like Batman villains from Wish?

Got The Puffin, The Questioner, and Two-Bit over here lmao

An article about three fascist activists in the UK - Charles Amos, Rhys Benjamin, and Daniel Campbell. Charles is wearing a trilby, enormous 70s dad glasses, and rounding it out with a "don't trust me" moustache. Rhys is wearing a sweater with question marks all over it. Daniel is wearing a MAKE BRITAIN GREAT AGAIN hat and is posing in a way I'm sure he thinks is cool and definitely doesn't make him look like the edgy twerp he really is

A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 16h

It must be so exhausting doing everything you can to stay angry and miserable to be around lol. If they didn't do so much damage, I'd feel bad for em.

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 16h

"You have no power here"

A close up shot of a bulldog in a deep hole, looking out almost indignantly

A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 16h

Anti-trans argument they had CRUMBLES with the knowledge of intersex people.

Didn't really change anyone's mind though, because cults are gonna cult, but honestly. Gender and sex are wildly different, fingerprint levels. I find it fascinating and amazing. Shame so many use it to hate.

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 16h

Yesss. I love making it broader because I don't think it takes away. It'll help people connect the parallels and maybe foster a knowledge one of the most neglected demographics. When I had to energy to argue with MAGA, I would often point out that every single piss-poor ->

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 17h

Honestly? I am not intersex either, and cis/het, so grain of salt -- intersex people are left out of SO MANY issues and debates, I fully support this topic, raising awareness, and such. Like I've written probably a novel's worth surrounding this back when I'd join internet arguments lmao

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 17h

@martinshannon.bsky.social 🤣🤣

AmeriKraut @inchargeofthegirls.bsky.social · 1d

sherman, for the love of god!

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 17h

🤣🤣 I am attacked

Garnet @churchflower.bsky.social · 17h

Reposted by A Local Cryptid

The Life of Sharks 🇮🇪🇵🇸🇺🇦🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @thelifeofsharks.com · 18h

World Mental Health Day.

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 19h

10/10 hair choices

A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 19h

Christ man. This sucks. I'm sorry.

I hope it hasn't spread. Ask about clinical trials for new treatments if they have not already touched on that with you. There's some cool shit being tested in the realm of kicking cancer's ass and they need candidates semi-regularly.

🫂 Sending good vibes.

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 2d

Oooooo that's a good one! Very cool SFX

A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 2d

Omg

A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 2d

🤣

a man in a hospital gown is making a surprised face .

ALT: a man in a hospital gown is making a surprised face .

media.tenor.com

A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 2d

As an aside. I got curious lol. Apparently that's a page from a Keanu Reeves coloring book. Crush and Color: Keanu Reeves, to be specific

I firmly believe that's just Snake though. Keanu has never played a guy with an eyepatch 🤣

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 2d

LMAO right? I cannot be trusted under anesthesia. When I had a surgery a while back I was having an anxiety attack because it was my first one. The moment those "chill the patient out" meds hit my system I immediately looked at the guy wheeling me in and went, "Ohohoho. You ever see Trainspotting?"😭

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 2d

"Oh, your wall is melting?"

And then I lolled my head at him and said,

"You look like Kurt Russell. He's sssoooooo attractive."

Last thing I remember was his nurse snort-laughing. I couldn't look him in the eye for my follow ups 😭

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 2d

Ain't no way that's not Snake lmao

Reminds me of a funny story: I got my wisdom teeth out under anesthesia because I was unfortunate enough to have EIGHT of the suckers. My surgeon was the spit of Kurt Russell. Like...dead on. I told him two things as the IV drugs took me away:

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 2d

#HorrorWritersChat
You weren't sure where the sound came from at first; not until it continued enough to lure you to a magnificent tomb. Intricate statues carved into the structure stared at you with lifeless, rough eyes, one reaching out. The last thing you remember is taking its hand.

Gree_ @greethewriter.bsky.social · 2d

Come forth, Baron Crescendo! Let your guitar split the sky open, for more wraiths to dazzle us!

Behold, a note from him, for you!

“The moment you entered the graveyard, the scrape of ancient stone shadowed your ears.”

Finish it! With word of rhyme, before we dance to the end!

#HorrorWritersChat

Art by Jelle Husson, featuring a haunted monastery of many sharp-tipped towers scraping at the midnight sky. The largest is in the centre of the structure’s roof, whose walls are painted white. The monastery is located above a hilly terrain of dark stone and dark green moss. A stony, twisting road leads to the monastery.

Question Four

There he is! Baron Crescendo! Oh how the skies split open to his guitar, how more of us fly in the air! And look, a note from him, just for you!

“The moment you entered the graveyard, the scrape of ancient stone shadowed your ears.”

Well? Go on! Word or rhyme, continue his Muse!

No links, covers, or self-promo! Leave that for the end! Quote the post & include the hashtag!

#HorrorWritersChat

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 2d

👀

A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 2d

👀 I have not!

/Adds to never ending TBR pile

A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 2d

For real!! It feels like a forgotten option these days.

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 2d

#HorrorWritersChat

I like seeing what authors/artists do to make their own spin on things. One of my favorite ghost movies is The Devil's Backbone, from Guillermo Del Toro. The ghost is so iconic in it for me, it hardly compares to others!

Gree_ @greethewriter.bsky.social · 2d

Listen to the Symposium’s finest vocalist, as their tenor bends the living into unnatural angles and swivels them into the air! Tell us, what ghosts do you prefer? Of the folkloric tradition, or those invented by authors? And why?
#HorrorWritersChat

Question Three

Art by Jelle Husson, featuring a haunted monastery of many sharp-tipped towers scraping at the midnight sky. The largest is in the centre of the structure’s roof, whose walls are painted white. The monastery is located above a hilly terrain of dark stone and dark green moss. A stony, twisting road leads to the monastery.

It is always a delight to see our violinists perform! How the living bend their splintering bones as they float above us all! Tell us, our ghostly compatriots – which of us are better? Of the folkloric kind? Or invented by our shadowy creators?

No links, covers, or self-promo! Leave that for the end! Quote the post & include the hashtag!

#HorrorWritersChat

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 2d

#HorrorWritersChat

I like unexpected locations. A spooky old house is always a classic, but I kinda love haunted objects and remote locations. I am however a SUCKER for ghost ships.

Gree_ @greethewriter.bsky.social · 2d

Now, let us begin! Let the flutes bleat and the trumps blare, snatching all the souls of the living away! What are your favourite haunts? Mausoleums? Lavish estates? What secrets do their wraiths protect within?
#HorrorWritersChat

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 2d

#HorrorWritersChat

Heya demons, it's ya girl, Michelle Heller. I write horror of many kinds, am currently in the swamp ass capitol of the world (Florida), and I'd definitely be that ghost that's just lying in bed next to you. Not to scare you. I'm just tired, man.

Gree_ @greethewriter.bsky.social · 2d

Be welcomed to the ethereal music hall! A stringed aperitif is in order… do tell the Symposium what do you write, from where… and what IS, indeed, your wraithful visage for tonight?
#HorrorWritersChat

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