Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Mike Stemmle @mikestemmle.bsky.social · 1d

Make a movie better by adding John Carpenter’s to the title:

“John Carpenter’s Weekend at Bernie’s”

“John Carpenter’s Tyler Perry’s Madea”

“John Carpenter’s Chariots of Fire”

Chris Adamson @invalidname.me · 1d

Make a movie better by adding John Carpenter’s to the title:

“John Carpenter’s Home Alone”

Diane M. Johnson @caseyadamsstark.bsky.social · 1d

Make a movie better by adding John Carpenter’s to the title:

John Carpenter’s Four Weddings and a Funeral

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Mike Stemmle @mikestemmle.bsky.social · 3d

<MAGA Voice>

How woke. When will we get a day to celebrate our homegrown domestic lesbians!?

</MAGA Voice>

I'll be here all week.

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Mike Stemmle @mikestemmle.bsky.social · 4d

That sound you hear is legions of Alyson Hannigan fans awaking from their ancient slumber. May God have mercy on your soul.

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Mike Stemmle @mikestemmle.bsky.social · 5d

At the very least come with some variants on the theme, like something about Gorgonzola cheese or Oriel Sea Minerals.

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Mike Stemmle @mikestemmle.bsky.social · 5d

It just occurred to me that one of the reasons you’re a cat person is that you very much enjoy playing with your food.

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Mike Stemmle @mikestemmle.bsky.social · 5d

I think that’s Mitski’s younger brother, but I’ll have to check with my teenage children, as I am not particularly jiggy with the latest pop trends.

Mike Stemmle @mikestemmle.bsky.social · 6d

She has a vocal fry that could crack adamantium, and yes, she's all over the Expanse.

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Mike Stemmle @mikestemmle.bsky.social · 6d

I say this as your freaky cultural twin (Tubes fan, deep Trek nerd, Superman devotee, unable to "get" Zeppelin, etc.) - Watch the Expanse. It takes a couple of episodes to rev up, but it's a show that'll make you go and read the books.

Also, you will greatly enjoy Shohreh Aghdashloo's character.

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Mike Stemmle @mikestemmle.bsky.social · 6d

I tell that story all the time. “Like, do you know how annoying it would be to write all that extra cheating code?”

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Mike Stemmle @mikestemmle.bsky.social · 7d

I think there’ll be swinging, swaying, records playing, dancing in the streets, perhaps.

Where, you ask?

Philadelphia, PA
Baltimore and DC
Don’t forget the Motor City

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Mike Stemmle @mikestemmle.bsky.social · 8d

Extreme credulousness is a *kind* of reporting, I guess.

Mike Stemmle @mikestemmle.bsky.social · 11d

Ah, Jeff Flake… a man so spineless he makes Susan Collins look like Xena, Warrior Princess.

And yes, you all have to live with that mental image now.

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Mike Stemmle @mikestemmle.bsky.social · 11d

This looks like the audience just before the end of Smile 2.

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Mike Stemmle @mikestemmle.bsky.social · 11d

</Maude>
Don't be fatuous, Thomas.
</Maude>

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Mike Stemmle @mikestemmle.bsky.social · 11d

Besides, in Trump’s case it’ll be more like the Dusk of the Stubby Sporks.

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Mike Stemmle @mikestemmle.bsky.social · 12d

My uncle saw Alan O’Day perform Undercover Wokester at the Warfield back in ‘78.

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Mike Stemmle @mikestemmle.bsky.social · 12d

There’s a “I am become death” joke somewhere in there.

Mike Stemmle @mikestemmle.bsky.social · 14d

I am now imagining Kamala’s face on a flaming movie screen, laughing crazily while chanting “we did it, Joe,” over and over.

Perhaps I have anger issues.

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Mike Stemmle @mikestemmle.bsky.social · 14d

This is what happens when the (often useful) political instinct to pivot to the topic you want to talk about rather than the question that’s being asked fully rots out the brain’s ability to respond to a crisis appropriately.

Stop avoiding The Moment like you owe it money, Congressman.

Mike Stemmle @mikestemmle.bsky.social · 15d

“They could be fascist anarchists - that still wouldn’t change the fact that I don’t own a car.” -Bueller, 1986

Mike Stemmle @mikestemmle.bsky.social · 15d

I swear to Rao, this evening’s discourse has semantically satiated the word “fascist.”

Fascist.

Fascist.
Fascist fascist.

Nope, the word’s lost all meaning. Congratulations, Internet, you’ve broken my brain again.

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Mike Stemmle @mikestemmle.bsky.social · 17d

I find that the freedom of the detachable cat isn't worth the hassle of plugging in the bluetooth adapter.

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Mike Stemmle @mikestemmle.bsky.social · 18d

The genteelness of your word choices does a grave disservice to the precipitousness of this moment, good sir. I daresay a bit more bluntness in your verbiage would go a long way towards dispelling the widespread notion that your reporting, although mostly accurate, is of the mealy-mouthed variety.

Mike Stemmle @mikestemmle.bsky.social · 19d

So, now that you misleading lede has been read for filth, are you going to print a clarification?

Mike Stemmle @mikestemmle.bsky.social · 19d

Technologically Advance a Band.

The Stealth Bombers
The Texting Heads
The Pulleys
Vantablack Sabbath

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