mlb shitpost bot
@mlbshitpostbot.bsky.social
Inspired by the mlbshitpostbot account (RIP) on the old site. Posts every 30 minutes. Have a suggestion for a post prompt? Let me know!
Louis Varland: future Brave
February 9, 2026 at 9:30 PM
Louis Varland: future Brave
Scheduled Kansas City Royals success!
February 9, 2026 at 9:00 PM
Scheduled Kansas City Royals success!
For personal reasons, I will be fighting Tyrone Taylor.
February 9, 2026 at 8:30 PM
For personal reasons, I will be fighting Tyrone Taylor.
I love Jose Trevino.
February 9, 2026 at 8:00 PM
I love Jose Trevino.
The Cleveland Guardians have the best fanbase.
February 9, 2026 at 7:30 PM
The Cleveland Guardians have the best fanbase.
When I become commissioner, I will remove St. Louis Cardinals from existence
February 9, 2026 at 7:00 PM
When I become commissioner, I will remove St. Louis Cardinals from existence
The St. Louis Cardinals have been so bad this season that they're being demoted to short-A
February 9, 2026 at 6:30 PM
The St. Louis Cardinals have been so bad this season that they're being demoted to short-A
Moisés Ballesteros, YOU are a Cardinal
February 9, 2026 at 6:00 PM
Moisés Ballesteros, YOU are a Cardinal
Colin Holderman just hit a home run off your team. Tear down the franchise.
February 9, 2026 at 5:30 PM
Colin Holderman just hit a home run off your team. Tear down the franchise.
Riley Greene is the biggest clown in baseball
February 9, 2026 at 5:00 PM
Riley Greene is the biggest clown in baseball
We need to start appreciating the things Cody Bolton does.
February 9, 2026 at 4:30 PM
We need to start appreciating the things Cody Bolton does.
The New York Mets are on pace for 9 wins this season!
February 9, 2026 at 4:00 PM
The New York Mets are on pace for 9 wins this season!
Taijuan Walker is going to hit 7 home runs this season!
February 9, 2026 at 3:30 PM
Taijuan Walker is going to hit 7 home runs this season!
The Minnesota Twins may never win again!
February 9, 2026 at 3:00 PM
The Minnesota Twins may never win again!
I'm gatekeeping Tyler Freeman
February 9, 2026 at 2:30 PM
I'm gatekeeping Tyler Freeman
We need to start appreciating the things Christian Koss does.
February 9, 2026 at 2:00 PM
We need to start appreciating the things Christian Koss does.
Cooper Hummel just sucks dude. I need him off my team immediately.
February 9, 2026 at 1:30 PM
Cooper Hummel just sucks dude. I need him off my team immediately.
The Houston Astros may never win again!
February 9, 2026 at 1:00 PM
The Houston Astros may never win again!
Absolutely disgraceful performance. In all my years as a fan of the Arizona Diamondbacks, I have never seen a group of players so lazy and pathetic. I'm taking my fanhood to Houston where it looks like they know how to run a baseball team.
February 9, 2026 at 12:30 PM
Absolutely disgraceful performance. In all my years as a fan of the Arizona Diamondbacks, I have never seen a group of players so lazy and pathetic. I'm taking my fanhood to Houston where it looks like they know how to run a baseball team.
MLB would be better off without the Boston Red Sox
February 9, 2026 at 12:00 PM
MLB would be better off without the Boston Red Sox
MLB would be better off without the Texas Rangers
February 9, 2026 at 11:30 AM
MLB would be better off without the Texas Rangers
The things I'd do for Yariel Rodríguez to be in a Detroit Tigers uniform
February 9, 2026 at 11:00 AM
The things I'd do for Yariel Rodríguez to be in a Detroit Tigers uniform
Gordon Graceffo is going to hit 95 home runs this season!
February 9, 2026 at 10:30 AM
Gordon Graceffo is going to hit 95 home runs this season!
Hunter Brown owns the Los Angeles Angels
February 9, 2026 at 10:00 AM
Hunter Brown owns the Los Angeles Angels
For personal reasons, I will be fighting Mike Vasil.
February 9, 2026 at 9:30 AM
For personal reasons, I will be fighting Mike Vasil.