Moe Ottis
@moeottis.bsky.social
You cannot stop the Moe-mentum 🤘
Spent last night fighting for my life in LA General after a green witch somehow entered the Moe laboratory.
I will not rest until every green witch in LA is dead and buried.
I will not rest until every green witch in LA is dead and buried.
January 5, 2026 at 8:40 PM
Spent last night fighting for my life in LA General after a green witch somehow entered the Moe laboratory.
I will not rest until every green witch in LA is dead and buried.
I will not rest until every green witch in LA is dead and buried.
Korean Moe is making me watch “Space Chimps 2: Zartog Strikes Back” for the 5th time this week.
I am going to explode the chip in the back of his neck if he makes me watch it a sixth time.
I am going to explode the chip in the back of his neck if he makes me watch it a sixth time.
January 5, 2026 at 3:04 AM
Korean Moe is making me watch “Space Chimps 2: Zartog Strikes Back” for the 5th time this week.
I am going to explode the chip in the back of his neck if he makes me watch it a sixth time.
I am going to explode the chip in the back of his neck if he makes me watch it a sixth time.
Do any of you know how to stop eating 16 sleeves of Oreos when you wake up at 2am with the hunger of a thousand starved wolves?
January 2, 2026 at 8:20 PM
Do any of you know how to stop eating 16 sleeves of Oreos when you wake up at 2am with the hunger of a thousand starved wolves?
I have a gun to my head.
Happy new years!
💅
Happy new years!
💅
January 1, 2026 at 5:13 AM
I have a gun to my head.
Happy new years!
💅
Happy new years!
💅
All the best from Bangladesh
January 1, 2026 at 2:49 AM
All the best from Bangladesh
I am literally foaming at the mouth because I am so excited to announce Moe-O’s, the new breakfast cereal that will literally blow your kids mind into 1,000 pieces.
The first ten thousand boxes sold will have a zero-dimensional object as the prize at the bottom of the box.
The first ten thousand boxes sold will have a zero-dimensional object as the prize at the bottom of the box.
December 31, 2025 at 12:51 AM
I am literally foaming at the mouth because I am so excited to announce Moe-O’s, the new breakfast cereal that will literally blow your kids mind into 1,000 pieces.
The first ten thousand boxes sold will have a zero-dimensional object as the prize at the bottom of the box.
The first ten thousand boxes sold will have a zero-dimensional object as the prize at the bottom of the box.
MoeGPT went live this morning and has already led to 61 teen deaths.
I’m on pace to beat the IDF at this point.
I’m on pace to beat the IDF at this point.
December 28, 2025 at 7:44 AM
MoeGPT went live this morning and has already led to 61 teen deaths.
I’m on pace to beat the IDF at this point.
I’m on pace to beat the IDF at this point.
Just found 6 undiscovered species of hairless slugs in my toilet. Tonight just gets better and better.
December 27, 2025 at 8:41 AM
Just found 6 undiscovered species of hairless slugs in my toilet. Tonight just gets better and better.
Korean Moe got a sloppy kiss this morning for Christmas.
He’s so cute.
He’s so cute.
December 26, 2025 at 3:29 AM
Korean Moe got a sloppy kiss this morning for Christmas.
He’s so cute.
He’s so cute.
Revived Moe Clone 44-J today. His decomposing body immediately woke up and suggested an “Elf Holocaust”.
Going to be sitting my white ass down and learning tonight.
Going to be sitting my white ass down and learning tonight.
December 26, 2025 at 3:13 AM
Revived Moe Clone 44-J today. His decomposing body immediately woke up and suggested an “Elf Holocaust”.
Going to be sitting my white ass down and learning tonight.
Going to be sitting my white ass down and learning tonight.
My anti-Santa weaponry was more successful this year. It managed to deter him without outright killing him, but he did still manage to sprinkle some coal dust down my chimney.
Next year he is fucking toast
Next year he is fucking toast
December 26, 2025 at 1:38 AM
My anti-Santa weaponry was more successful this year. It managed to deter him without outright killing him, but he did still manage to sprinkle some coal dust down my chimney.
Next year he is fucking toast
Next year he is fucking toast
The elves have produced a document (Sheldon Sheinbaum is currently evaluating its veracity) claiming that the exact strip of territory that my house is built on (plus the underground lab system) was promised to them by the Elf God 3000 years ago
What a load of fucking bullshit
What a load of fucking bullshit
My clones are currently undergoing peace talks with the elves.
If this works out…. It does NOT mean I will allow an elf into my home. I learned that lesson hundreds of years ago.
If this works out…. It does NOT mean I will allow an elf into my home. I learned that lesson hundreds of years ago.
December 25, 2025 at 3:09 AM
The elves have produced a document (Sheldon Sheinbaum is currently evaluating its veracity) claiming that the exact strip of territory that my house is built on (plus the underground lab system) was promised to them by the Elf God 3000 years ago
What a load of fucking bullshit
What a load of fucking bullshit
Just got word that Rudolph has been diagnosed with chronic wasting disease. Sorry kids, Santa might get lost in the fog and fly into the side of One World Trade Center tonight.
December 25, 2025 at 3:07 AM
Just got word that Rudolph has been diagnosed with chronic wasting disease. Sorry kids, Santa might get lost in the fog and fly into the side of One World Trade Center tonight.
My clones are currently undergoing peace talks with the elves.
If this works out…. It does NOT mean I will allow an elf into my home. I learned that lesson hundreds of years ago.
If this works out…. It does NOT mean I will allow an elf into my home. I learned that lesson hundreds of years ago.
December 25, 2025 at 1:18 AM
My clones are currently undergoing peace talks with the elves.
If this works out…. It does NOT mean I will allow an elf into my home. I learned that lesson hundreds of years ago.
If this works out…. It does NOT mean I will allow an elf into my home. I learned that lesson hundreds of years ago.
My automatic anti-materiel rifle array system is programmed to detect and eliminate Christmas Cheer. He’s not going anywhere this year
Santa managed to evade all of my defenses and left me a big hunk of coal smeared in goose grease. Little does he know this is all I need to improve my anti-Santa weaponry. See you next year you fat old jackass
December 24, 2025 at 9:54 PM
My automatic anti-materiel rifle array system is programmed to detect and eliminate Christmas Cheer. He’s not going anywhere this year
I illegally hunted 379 grinches this year. That should be enough grinch pelts to gift to almost every member of the Ottis clan for Christmas this year
December 24, 2025 at 9:52 PM
I illegally hunted 379 grinches this year. That should be enough grinch pelts to gift to almost every member of the Ottis clan for Christmas this year
I’m working on a new type of white person thats expected to drop Q3 2026. To give you a hint of what’s to come, imagine an Irish person that’s also a little bit Iranian
December 22, 2025 at 10:44 PM
I’m working on a new type of white person thats expected to drop Q3 2026. To give you a hint of what’s to come, imagine an Irish person that’s also a little bit Iranian
Moe Clone 70 has just informed me that he has confirmed the greatest human fertilizer is known as a woman named “Riley Gaines”.
My goo zapper is charged and ready to blast.
My spring spinach is gonna kick so much ass, it’s literally not even funny.
My goo zapper is charged and ready to blast.
My spring spinach is gonna kick so much ass, it’s literally not even funny.
December 22, 2025 at 4:58 AM
Moe Clone 70 has just informed me that he has confirmed the greatest human fertilizer is known as a woman named “Riley Gaines”.
My goo zapper is charged and ready to blast.
My spring spinach is gonna kick so much ass, it’s literally not even funny.
My goo zapper is charged and ready to blast.
My spring spinach is gonna kick so much ass, it’s literally not even funny.
This Christmas I will be mailing special gifts to all my favorite political and corporate leaders. I hope the postal carriers handle them very delicately
December 21, 2025 at 7:12 PM
This Christmas I will be mailing special gifts to all my favorite political and corporate leaders. I hope the postal carriers handle them very delicately
I like my rice with juuuust the right amount of dead and live maggots in it
December 20, 2025 at 1:19 AM
I like my rice with juuuust the right amount of dead and live maggots in it
That moment when you sniff eggs is better than any other moment in history
December 19, 2025 at 9:24 PM
That moment when you sniff eggs is better than any other moment in history
Just learned that Shrimptech Enterprises is currently working on a shrimp cannon far more advanced than what my clones have been able to conceive.
MOE stock has already fallen by $400 dollars a share. I am going to have a mental breakdown.
MOE stock has already fallen by $400 dollars a share. I am going to have a mental breakdown.
December 18, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Just learned that Shrimptech Enterprises is currently working on a shrimp cannon far more advanced than what my clones have been able to conceive.
MOE stock has already fallen by $400 dollars a share. I am going to have a mental breakdown.
MOE stock has already fallen by $400 dollars a share. I am going to have a mental breakdown.
Korean Moe is working on “MoeGPT” and he gave it the trolley problem and it just told him to kill himself.
Very promising.
Very promising.
December 17, 2025 at 3:24 AM
Korean Moe is working on “MoeGPT” and he gave it the trolley problem and it just told him to kill himself.
Very promising.
Very promising.
Workin up some plans for Mongolia.
December 16, 2025 at 6:15 AM
Workin up some plans for Mongolia.
My cousin Crungus Ottis died in my arms and within seconds I received an email from Pizza Hut sending condolences for my loss.
December 15, 2025 at 5:09 AM
My cousin Crungus Ottis died in my arms and within seconds I received an email from Pizza Hut sending condolences for my loss.