Moe Ottis
@moeottis.bsky.social
You cannot stop the Moe-mentum 🤘
I’m just a boy who loves the world
February 16, 2026 at 8:55 PM
I’m just a boy who loves the world
Korean Moe just asked me to go to prom with him. What should I say?
(I’m afraid he’s going to kill himself again.)
(I’m afraid he’s going to kill himself again.)
February 16, 2026 at 7:41 AM
Korean Moe just asked me to go to prom with him. What should I say?
(I’m afraid he’s going to kill himself again.)
(I’m afraid he’s going to kill himself again.)
I just filled the parking garage at Target with thiophosphonate.
Can’t arrest me cause I’m just a girl 🤭👉👈
Can’t arrest me cause I’m just a girl 🤭👉👈
February 16, 2026 at 3:18 AM
I just filled the parking garage at Target with thiophosphonate.
Can’t arrest me cause I’m just a girl 🤭👉👈
Can’t arrest me cause I’m just a girl 🤭👉👈
I lost my virginity the first time in a janitors closet at a Rainforest Cafe. The second time wasn’t nearly as romantic
February 16, 2026 at 2:17 AM
I lost my virginity the first time in a janitors closet at a Rainforest Cafe. The second time wasn’t nearly as romantic
Just said the word “dopetacular” to a bitch and she immediately tried to stick her entire tongue up my left nostril. I think I’ve got my Valentine’s Day date settled
February 14, 2026 at 7:46 PM
Just said the word “dopetacular” to a bitch and she immediately tried to stick her entire tongue up my left nostril. I think I’ve got my Valentine’s Day date settled
My nephew Jack “The Tortured and Castrated Slave” Ottis used to call my basement the “Fingernail factory”, no idea why
February 14, 2026 at 12:50 AM
My nephew Jack “The Tortured and Castrated Slave” Ottis used to call my basement the “Fingernail factory”, no idea why
Cops are at my door about the sardine prank I pulled on my local elementary school. How far this country has fallen…
February 13, 2026 at 6:05 AM
Cops are at my door about the sardine prank I pulled on my local elementary school. How far this country has fallen…
I’m being girl-bullied by a gay man with mental health issues and I’ve had ENOUGH
February 13, 2026 at 1:15 AM
I’m being girl-bullied by a gay man with mental health issues and I’ve had ENOUGH
Might fuck around and get male impregnated by Gavin Newsom
February 12, 2026 at 10:02 PM
Might fuck around and get male impregnated by Gavin Newsom
Just ate a puppy for breakfast at 12:14 PM. Deal with it
February 11, 2026 at 8:29 PM
Just ate a puppy for breakfast at 12:14 PM. Deal with it
Just ended the war in Kuwait. Yup, you can all thank me later.
February 9, 2026 at 7:31 PM
Just ended the war in Kuwait. Yup, you can all thank me later.
I am the number one Alvin and the Chipmunks scholar in the universe
February 8, 2026 at 11:37 PM
I am the number one Alvin and the Chipmunks scholar in the universe
There was this French bitch I liked way more when she had brain damage.
February 7, 2026 at 11:54 PM
There was this French bitch I liked way more when she had brain damage.
They can’t tell me what I seen, cause only I know what I seen.
February 7, 2026 at 5:20 AM
They can’t tell me what I seen, cause only I know what I seen.
You have no idea what’s gonna happen when the Ottis Files are finally released. It might just end everything
February 6, 2026 at 5:50 PM
You have no idea what’s gonna happen when the Ottis Files are finally released. It might just end everything
Update: My crab wife is trying to get me killed by the crab yakuza.
February 6, 2026 at 2:23 AM
Update: My crab wife is trying to get me killed by the crab yakuza.
Sometimes 48,000 people need to die in order to get your eggs cooked the way you want them. That’s just a fact of life and you cannot hold me accountable for it
February 5, 2026 at 10:29 PM
Sometimes 48,000 people need to die in order to get your eggs cooked the way you want them. That’s just a fact of life and you cannot hold me accountable for it
@los-angeles-kings.bsky.social please give me back the jackal meat your security team confiscated from me at the Kings vs Oilers game in January.
February 5, 2026 at 4:45 AM
@los-angeles-kings.bsky.social please give me back the jackal meat your security team confiscated from me at the Kings vs Oilers game in January.
I’m going to become Chinese for all the right reasons
February 3, 2026 at 7:14 PM
I’m going to become Chinese for all the right reasons
I am NOT in the Epstein files.
Please STOP MESSAGING ME.
I eat babies strictly WITHOUT Jeffery.
That is all.
Please STOP MESSAGING ME.
I eat babies strictly WITHOUT Jeffery.
That is all.
February 1, 2026 at 3:59 AM
I am NOT in the Epstein files.
Please STOP MESSAGING ME.
I eat babies strictly WITHOUT Jeffery.
That is all.
Please STOP MESSAGING ME.
I eat babies strictly WITHOUT Jeffery.
That is all.
This Friday, my niece will be streaming on Twitch. She is holding a class on how to become a pickup artist in the ghost dimension.
January 28, 2026 at 9:35 PM
This Friday, my niece will be streaming on Twitch. She is holding a class on how to become a pickup artist in the ghost dimension.
OSHA inspector tried to shut down my laboratory so I sealed him within the earth using the Curse of Osiris
January 28, 2026 at 8:49 PM
OSHA inspector tried to shut down my laboratory so I sealed him within the earth using the Curse of Osiris
Follow me on TikTok. I only post videos of my gnome doing a goatse.
January 27, 2026 at 5:36 AM
Follow me on TikTok. I only post videos of my gnome doing a goatse.
My 18th wife left me because I kept editing Goku into the background of every picture we took together
January 25, 2026 at 11:31 PM
My 18th wife left me because I kept editing Goku into the background of every picture we took together