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Molly Kerr

@mollykerr.bsky.social

970 followers 1K following 1.5K posts

Actor. Comedian. Writer. (Except not really) Follow to watch me launch countless projects and fail to complete them in realtime. If you’re religious or delicate, I will probably offend you. DM me “hello” if you’d like to be lectured. Western Australia

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Molly Kerr @mollykerr.bsky.social · 11h

And also, what do you want me to say? Because you seemed unsatisfied with “You’re welcome.”

I don’t know what you want me to say! Sorry I believed Grandma?And sorry you tried to get her to write us out of the will and denied it but left a paper trail of evidence and then admitted that you tried?🤷🏻‍♀️

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Molly Kerr @mollykerr.bsky.social · 11h

As a Sober I will remember you saying that “I hurt you more than you’ve ever been hurt in your life” even if you don’t in the morning.

I remember every time I’ve screamed or yelled or cussed out someone, and it just seems really unfair that I get to be ashamed of that, but also get shamed by you.

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Molly Kerr @mollykerr.bsky.social · 11h

If people could stop getting drunk then telling me what a shitty person I am at birthday parties, that would be great.

…Or maybe warn me that you plan to get drunk and then tell me off. That way I know not to relax or enjoy your company while you work up the courage to put me in my place?

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Molly Kerr @mollykerr.bsky.social · 2d

Then she used a nail file to undo the toilet lock from the outside to check that I got her message, and to reassure me that I ”didn’t have to be lonely.”

How do you say, ”Not lonely, just constipated,” in 8-year-old?

Molly Kerr @mollykerr.bsky.social · 2d

Her first reaction when I shouted at her to leave me alone (after asking nicely, begging, and bargaining failed) she stormed off, telling me that I’ll never see her again! Then she put on lipstick especially just to kiss this piece of paper she could slip under the door to me ”to remember [her] by.”

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Molly Kerr @mollykerr.bsky.social · 2d

I just sent this text message to my husband while fending off my daughter from the toilet seat. In case you were wondering what kind of a day I was having…

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Molly Kerr @mollykerr.bsky.social · 2d

Hey share this even if you don’t think you know anyone in Perth. See how many degrees of separation we’ve got.

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Molly Kerr @mollykerr.bsky.social · 3d

I wanted to go for a bike ride but my son just wanted to stay home so we compromised and stayed home.

Molly Kerr @mollykerr.bsky.social · 4d

If you think it’s bad watching a movie with someone that asks questions, then I hope you never have to read a novel to someone who asks question.

Molly Kerr @mollykerr.bsky.social · 6d

For real- Fuck the haters! She’s a god damned poet! 😍

“I like your pants around your feet
And I like the dirt that’s on your knees
And I like the way you still say please
While you’re looking up at me
You’re like my favourite damn disease” -Taylor Swift

Jane Altoids @staticbluebat.bsky.social · 7d

She’s still got it!

Molly Kerr @mollykerr.bsky.social · 6d

Tilly Norwood is only a virgin for as long as it takes someone to write the prompt “Tilly Norwood with my cock in her mouth” into an AI image generator. Which has almost certainly happened. And she’s AI, so an AI dick in her mouth makes it a canon relationship. I didn’t make the rules.

Molly Kerr @mollykerr.bsky.social · 8d

I did jokes with a microphone to an audience and it was fine.

Molly Kerr @mollykerr.bsky.social · 9d

I store eggs in the order I bought them, oldest to the right (Excuse the over-the-top affluence of having two dozen eggs in my fridge at one time.) and I’ve accidentally enforced colour segregation.

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Molly Kerr @mollykerr.bsky.social · 9d

Today was a blackcurrant pastilles for breakfast and coffee flavoured ice cream for lunch kind of day.

Molly Kerr @mollykerr.bsky.social · 10d

Upgraded to an iPhone 16 after years with an iPhone 12 mini and I wish I could go back and tell myself to appreciate being able to type one-handedly.

Seriously this is a very pirate-unfriendly sized phone.

Reposted by Molly Kerr

Asha Rangappa @asharangappa.bsky.social · 11d

I can’t believe I’m watching interviews of city mayors talking about how they are coordinating with other mayors to discuss how to protect their residents FROM THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES

I know we are “used to it” but it is absolutely insane

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Molly Kerr @mollykerr.bsky.social · 13d

Comedy!

Molly Kerr @mollykerr.bsky.social · 15d

My friend animated and voiced this cartoon- it’s fully sick, bro.

www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/...

www.newgrounds.com

Molly Kerr @mollykerr.bsky.social · 15d

If you’re relying on FB to support and maintain your friendships, maybe don’t.

-Millennial proverb

Molly Kerr @mollykerr.bsky.social · 16d

I felt bad for not doing someone’s laundry- even though they didn’t ask me to and they’re an able-bodied adult with plenty of free time- until I saw they’d baked cookies and didn’t leave me or the kids any... and left the mess for me to clean up.

You have time to bake, you have time to launder.

Molly Kerr @mollykerr.bsky.social · 17d

I‘m on set this week for a short horror-comedy film. It’s amazing how different the experience is from acting in the last film I did which was a tragic experimental drama, but at least I can be confident that on every set I go to my vegetarian diet will be accommodated with fruit.

Molly Kerr @mollykerr.bsky.social · 17d

Jesus christ! I came up with a new bit in the shower yesterday and forgot to write it down. And then I forgot about it totally. And now I‘ve just remembered about it but can’t remember what it actually was. It’s like needing to sneeze but never getting to sneeze! 😱

Molly Kerr @mollykerr.bsky.social · 18d

Around 7 minutes from the end Jordan has a whole bit that is extremely similar to one I’ve written and now I don’t know whether to feel depressed or just enjoy that I’ve got good instincts for premises.

Molly Kerr @mollykerr.bsky.social · 18d

Jordan Jensen is amazing. I love her. I love her. I love her.

Molly Kerr @mollykerr.bsky.social · 18d

Does prenatal paracetamol use cause autism?

Funny. The answer to this question is also on the spectrum.

(If it causing blood cancer isn’t going to put me off, autism sure as fuck isn’t.)