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Molly Lizardbreath @mollymcawesome.bsky.social · 1d

Things are finally starting to look up for me but all the bad energy still needs an outlet and that outlet is every single red light in existence, especially the very long ones. This is an acceptable trade-off.

Molly Lizardbreath @mollymcawesome.bsky.social · 2d

@wesleywatts.bsky.social spotted in the wild (my mother-in-law's house)

A copy of the excellent sci-fi novel Me and the Machine by Wesley Watts sitting atop a book by some lady named Joyce James

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Molly Lizardbreath @mollymcawesome.bsky.social · 3d

I got a job despite a massive employment gap just by babbling at the hiring manager about all the neat little things I've been learning from free workshops at the library

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Molly Lizardbreath @mollymcawesome.bsky.social · 3d

Jerry no

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Molly Lizardbreath @mollymcawesome.bsky.social · 5d

When no one could track down one particular classmate to invite her to the ten year reunion, I dialed her parents' number from memory, had a nice chat with her mom, and got her contact info. I'm 43 now and still remember all my childhood friends' numbers.

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Molly Lizardbreath @mollymcawesome.bsky.social · 10d

Every time I list "time management" as a skill on a job application it becomes a bigger lie.

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Molly Lizardbreath @mollymcawesome.bsky.social · 13d

IF I'M EVEN STILL ALIVE

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Molly Lizardbreath @mollymcawesome.bsky.social · 13d

I'll eat some wet mangoes in the morning just in case that's the antidote

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Molly Lizardbreath @mollymcawesome.bsky.social · 13d

"Died of dried mango poisoning" has really risen in the ranks for ways I might go out

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Molly Lizardbreath @mollymcawesome.bsky.social · 13d

Hey chat what's the best way to lift just like a regular curse

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Molly Lizardbreath @mollymcawesome.bsky.social · 14d

I can't imagine I ever said I didn't understand that. I live with him, I talk to you all the time, it's really not hard to understand.

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Molly Lizardbreath @mollymcawesome.bsky.social · 15d

All I can think is that this is the best and worst toilet to throw up in, worst because it would be very upsetting, best for the same reason and you'd get it over with pretty quickly. Maybe it's just me

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Molly Lizardbreath @mollymcawesome.bsky.social · 15d

I don't know what I expected but it wasn't this

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Molly Lizardbreath @mollymcawesome.bsky.social · 18d

I cannot believe there were 162,999 other Jeffs out there

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Molly Lizardbreath @mollymcawesome.bsky.social · 23d

Another stint in Dummy Jail

Orange cat in a white laundry basket. His mouth is obscured by the rim of the basket. His expression is vacant; he does not have the braincell today

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Molly Lizardbreath @mollymcawesome.bsky.social · 25d

I know who's NOT getting raptured today

A fluffy tabby batting at a branch on a potted shrub on a shelf where cat is not supposed to be

A fluffy tabby exploring a potted shrub on a shelf where cat is not supposed to be

A fluffy tabby examining the string lights on a potted shrub on a shelf where cat is not supposed to be

A fluffy tabby sniffing a branch of a potted shrub on a shelf where cat is not supposed to be

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Molly Lizardbreath @mollymcawesome.bsky.social · 26d

@heavydishongry.bsky.social are you writing these?

Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 27d

Pisces: Death is inevitable, but with enough glitter, you can at least make the inevitable fabulous.

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Molly Lizardbreath @mollymcawesome.bsky.social · 29d

In Ohio too. We voted to protect abortion and they were like, surely they didn't actually mean to pass that? And tried to change the state constitution to just undo it but we outvoted them on that too.

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