Sorrowscopes
sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes
@sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Things are terrible


(we follow our contributors)
Pinned
A lot of very funny and talented people have written for Sorrowscopes over the years- here they are!
bsky.app/starter-pack...
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American politics ✨
November 21, 2025 at 4:41 PM
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If you bring your fancy peanut butter to the Home Depot paint dept they have to mix it for you
November 22, 2025 at 2:55 PM
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Do I think Satan has some good ideas? Yes. But do I “worship” him? Yes
November 25, 2025 at 5:11 AM
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Still looking for work and short on funds this month. Any help appreciated, even just a share. Thanks for understanding. gofund.me/9c9a6081e
Donate to Lend a Hand to Greg During Job Search, organized by Greg Mills
Hello. I'm Greg. I've been out of work for a few years now, and while I can occasiona… Greg Mills needs your support for Lend a Hand to Greg During Job Search
gofund.me
November 19, 2025 at 6:18 AM
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My daughter is a trans woman.

Here is a comprehensive list of people and institutions she's harming by identifying as a different gender than she did as a child:
October 22, 2024 at 3:10 PM
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Hi #portfolioday, I’m Nick an artist out of MA (soon to NC) with a focus on horror and tabletop games. I have a website nickeldoodle.com wow ok thanks
October 14, 2025 at 5:12 PM
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My husband & I watch A LOT of horror movies. Imagine a high number of horror movies & it's even more than that. So, we decided to create a site to showcase his reviews & my random thoughts. But the question was- when was the right time to talk about horror? Well, Fright About Now. frightaboutnow.com
Fright About Now
Film reviews for people who love movies- by people who love movies.
frightaboutnow.com
November 15, 2025 at 8:48 PM
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SORRY THESE ARE LATE I TOOK TOO MANY EDIBLES AND COULDN’T ESCAPE THE CORN MAZE
November 9, 2025 at 7:53 PM
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Aries: Is this the best you can do? Seriously?
November 9, 2025 at 7:51 PM
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Taurus: Make time for your family this week. You might need a kidney some day.
November 9, 2025 at 7:51 PM
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Gemini: Stop blaming yourself for things you can’t control and start blaming yourself for your terrible choices.
November 9, 2025 at 7:50 PM
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Cancer: The pattern of your sweat stain on your T-shirt is the closest you’ve come to making art in years. What happened to you? What happened to that passionate child you used to be?
November 9, 2025 at 7:50 PM
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Leo: Congratulations! Or deepest sympathies. It's still unclear.
November 9, 2025 at 7:50 PM
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Virgo: Sometimes you are your own worst enemy. Not today though. Today it is Jeff.
November 9, 2025 at 7:50 PM
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Libra: Big changes are in store for you at work this week! (A slightly faster printer.)
November 9, 2025 at 7:50 PM
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Scorpio: You’ll wake up with a feeling of doom and ennui. Don’t be overly concerned. Eventually the sun will envelop the earth.
November 9, 2025 at 7:49 PM
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Sagittarius: Your family has already planted a tree on the spot where you're to be buried. It's nothing sinister exactly they just all agree it should be "so big and hungry for [you]." Little bit sinister.
November 9, 2025 at 7:49 PM
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Capricorn: Prepare for a busy, productive day (you’ll be forced into harvesting ore).
November 9, 2025 at 7:49 PM
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Aquarius: Some self reflection will show you that you and your partner have a symbiotic relationship, in that you turn them into a darker version of Spider-Man.
November 9, 2025 at 7:49 PM
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Pisces: Your brain fog will lift just in time to see your mental ship dashed against some psychic rocks.
November 9, 2025 at 7:48 PM
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THE NEW SORROWSCOPES ARE HERE! TELL YOUR FRIENDS. TELL YOUR ENEMIES. TELL THE GHOSTS OF THE SALEM WITCHES WHO CRY FOR JUSTICE
October 20, 2024 at 6:29 PM
SORRY THESE ARE LATE I TOOK TOO MANY EDIBLES AND COULDN’T ESCAPE THE CORN MAZE
November 9, 2025 at 7:53 PM
Aries: Is this the best you can do? Seriously?
November 9, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Taurus: Make time for your family this week. You might need a kidney some day.
November 9, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Gemini: Stop blaming yourself for things you can’t control and start blaming yourself for your terrible choices.
November 9, 2025 at 7:50 PM