𝘿𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙋𝙊𝙊𝙇.
@mouthymerc.bsky.social
160 followers 160 following 160 posts
𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙸𝙲 𝙱𝙰𝚂𝙴𝙳 / 𝟸𝟷+ / 𝙼𝙳𝙽𝙸.
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mouthymerc.bsky.social
❛ 𝙽𝙾𝙽𝙴 of this is actually happening.
There is a 𝐌𝐀𝐍.
At a typewriter.
This is all his 𝙏𝙒𝙄𝙎𝙏𝙀𝘿 𝙄𝙈𝘼𝙂𝙄𝙉𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉. ❜
mouthymerc.bsky.social
Like a wiggling buffoon, he made his way through, only to fall through her much out of date Laser Skipping Discs.

Wade spins, looking back up at her.

"HEY, if you're cold, then I'm cold!" He shouts from below.
mouthymerc.bsky.social
She clearly didn't have ANY coffee today, Wade thought as he gets up to her window, using the ledge to hold himself up.

"Spider-Man probably does this all the time and no one has an issue with it." He protests, now trying to climb through the window.
mouthymerc.bsky.social
"Oh wow, I love that book. Heard 'A Book' was a New York Times bestsellers list!" He's in the process of climbing up the side of the apartment building, using the growing plant life and windowsills as his own ladder up. "But I heard the ending sucked."
mouthymerc.bsky.social
Wade chucks an empty Starbucks cup at her foot from below. "What'cha reading there?" He shouts from below, cupping his mouth with both hands.
mouthymerc.bsky.social
"Is Elon having a ketamine crash out and burning X to the ground? Bet there's gonna be a TONNNN of newcomers around here."
mouthymerc.bsky.social
"Behold, hotdogs." Offers him a packet. "I was actually about to make 3,628 hotdogs to be oddly specific."
headcruncher.bsky.social

⠀“ Hotdogs...we crave hotdogs. It is a hotdogs kind of night. ”
mouthymerc.bsky.social
"That's wise, I'd hate to ruin anyone else's night with your graphic fantasies. How have things been anyways bud?"
fracturedthwips.bsky.social
"... Nope. I concede, dude! I concede!"
mouthymerc.bsky.social
"Or did it come out as a Freudian Slip?"
mouthymerc.bsky.social
"Or did it come out as a Freudian Slip?"
fracturedthwips.bsky.social
He crossed his arms over his chest and nodded egregiously.

"Uh huh. See? /That's/ what you get for making me milk you with a flashlight!"

...

"Wait, hold on. That didn't come out right."
mouthymerc.bsky.social
"Noooo!" He collapses to his knees, arms reach towards the sky. "How dare you touch that sweet lady! The epitome of sweet Canadian innocence!"
mouthymerc.bsky.social
"Noooo!" He collapses to his knees, arms reach towards the sky. "How dare you touch that sweet lady! The epitome of sweet Canadian innocence!"
fracturedthwips.bsky.social
"That's spoilers, man! But if you /must/ know... it'syourmom.

That's right. Mother Deadpool."
mouthymerc.bsky.social
"Because I'm me, remember? Oooooh, call who? Who's the lucky gal?"
mouthymerc.bsky.social
"Because I'm me, remember? Oooooh, call who? Who's the lucky gal?"
fracturedthwips.bsky.social
"How can you just move on from that ridiculous statement?! You know what. You reminded me of something.

... I should call her."
mouthymerc.bsky.social
"BRO you are the one dwelling on it, thinking about me all snugged as a bug in a rug, except the rug is a well lubricated--... you get the idea. I don't see how that's MY problem. I've already moved on!"
mouthymerc.bsky.social
"BRO you are the one dwelling on it, thinking about me all snugged as a bug in a rug, except the rug is a well lubricated--... you get the idea. I don't see how that's MY problem. I've already moved on!"
fracturedthwips.bsky.social
"Because YOU made me think of it! I mean, dude- what would even happen to - UGH. I'm STILL thinking about it!"
mouthymerc.bsky.social
"Why would you even want to ask that? That's the real freak shit right there."
mouthymerc.bsky.social
"Why would you even want to ask that? That's the real freak shit right there."
fracturedthwips.bsky.social
"Dude. You just asked to get milked like a fleshlight."

...

"Dude!"

...

"I mean- what would even HAPPEN to you if your voodoo doll was-"

...

"Dude, y'know what- I don't even wanna think about this anymore!"
mouthymerc.bsky.social
"It's been a very long day. I don't need The Look."
mouthymerc.bsky.social
"Whoever has my voodoo doll, could you shove me into your fleshlight? Thaaaanks in advance!"
mouthymerc.bsky.social
( 🦄🌮 ) Ayyy thank you I greatly appreciate that!!
mouthymerc.bsky.social
( 🦄🌮 ) Sorry y'all about the silence for the past few days. Got a promotion at work and been dealing with irl stuff! Promise I'll get to all replies and DMs soon enough. 💕
mouthymerc.bsky.social
"It's Chili Dog day today. Do you want a dog?" He is standing on an ungodly amount of hot dog packets, cans of chili, buns... there was an unfortunate amount of money spent on all of it.
mouthymerc.bsky.social
"Very Magikal of you. Tell me what kind of spell."
mouthymerc.bsky.social
"I.... nevermind. Okay how about this.... Discskip Special?"
mouthymerc.bsky.social
"You're really gonna Man of Steel me like that?? Really??" He's offended.
mouthymerc.bsky.social
"What? You've never seen someone utilize a person's allergy against them and nut them to death?" Wade asks, shoving a fist full of peanuts into a henchman's mouth. "Come on, let's get NUTS!"