It’s Couch Bowl week — my wife Jessica and I are going head-to-head in fantasy football. Let’s be real, I lose either way.

#CouchBowl #FantasyFootball #MarriedLife

Japan has Elvis, and here in the United States we have "In the Air Tonight" by Phil Collins. It is inescapable.

I've decided that baseball is fine. Rejoice.

#15MoviesToGetToKnowMe

Sin City
Flash Gordon
This is Spinal Tap
Blood Simple
Blue Velvet
Robocop
Evil Dead 2
The Royal Tenenbaums
Double Indemnity
Total Recall
The Omen
Phantom of the Paradise
Alien
Dr. Strangelove
Grosse Pointe Blank

I wish Gavin Newsome's very fun 360° reverse dunking of TFG could also be Gavin Newsome dunking on homelessness. Not a fan of the guy, but a huge fan of whoever writes his tweets.

A favorite.

They're too good for this world!

You know the pasta is good when it smells like feet.

Maybe masculinity isn't listening to a bro podcast telling you what being a man is.

I was saying this same thing just the other day. She was in some X-Files too.

A few of these look absolutely brutal.

Don't anger this one.

If John Mellencamp is bad at eating tacos, I will be so mad.

Everything went well with my colonoscopy, and they found the Zartan GI Joe I had been missing since the age of 8!

Hopefully, tomorrow's colonoscopy goes better than the last one!

I mean, was Tim not aware of this album? It's pretty nice.

I learned a lot about basketball from Hubie Brown and Doug Collins. I hope he enjoys his retirement.

Jessica said she loves me more than cheese, and I think that is a damn lie. Cheese is pretty good. Especially that sharp stuff.

Eliminate back to back games, and move New Orleans to the eastern conference.

Plus, Barnes and Noble have sales on Criterion Collection films.

I'm eyeballing a copy of Brazil, and Mulholland Drive!

Just woke up from a nightmare in which Harrison Ford(Dad)tried to kill me. It was a genuinely scary experience, and I'm glad I woke up because I had to pee real bad. Anyway, I always knew someone like Harrison Ford was my dream father. I have dream siblings too. And they're all very attractive.