Myq Kaplan
@myqkaplan.bsky.social
I’m a comedian!
New special “Rini” on YouTube 11/19/25:
https://youtu.be/y0uf9i_z-Aw
Tour dates: https://punchup.live/myqkaplan
More info: http://linktr.ee/myqkaplan
New special “Rini” on YouTube 11/19/25:
https://youtu.be/y0uf9i_z-Aw
Tour dates: https://punchup.live/myqkaplan
More info: http://linktr.ee/myqkaplan
Just saw a guy wave his hand like a Jedi to open the automatic sliding doors at the grocery store AND IT WORKED, NEW GOALS!
December 3, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Just saw a guy wave his hand like a Jedi to open the automatic sliding doors at the grocery store AND IT WORKED, NEW GOALS!
People seem to be enjoying jokes in this new photo format, right?
And if you also enjoy stand-up comedy in spoken form, feel free to check out my new special “Rini” on YouTube! It’s an hour of jokes and it’s free!
But if you just want to read this one, here!
Thanks all!
#jokes #comedy #funny
And if you also enjoy stand-up comedy in spoken form, feel free to check out my new special “Rini” on YouTube! It’s an hour of jokes and it’s free!
But if you just want to read this one, here!
Thanks all!
#jokes #comedy #funny
December 3, 2025 at 8:33 PM
We’ve all heard that “laughter is the best medicine,” but I’ve never seen a commercial that said “Ask your doctor if laughter is right for you.”
December 3, 2025 at 6:31 PM
We’ve all heard that “laughter is the best medicine,” but I’ve never seen a commercial that said “Ask your doctor if laughter is right for you.”
Elbert Hubbard said, “Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit.”
In that spirit, I aspire to be…
Dense like no one’s watching!
In that spirit, I aspire to be…
Dense like no one’s watching!
December 3, 2025 at 6:10 PM
Elbert Hubbard said, “Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit.”
In that spirit, I aspire to be…
Dense like no one’s watching!
In that spirit, I aspire to be…
Dense like no one’s watching!
Working on a new movie that is a mashup of “Home Alone” and “Die Hard.”
Not sure whether to call it “Die Alone” or “Home Hard.”
Not sure whether to call it “Die Alone” or “Home Hard.”
December 3, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Working on a new movie that is a mashup of “Home Alone” and “Die Hard.”
Not sure whether to call it “Die Alone” or “Home Hard.”
Not sure whether to call it “Die Alone” or “Home Hard.”
I’d love for my dumb posts to attract responses from wise people with real knowledge.
I call it “sage bait.”
I call it “sage bait.”
December 3, 2025 at 5:44 PM
I’d love for my dumb posts to attract responses from wise people with real knowledge.
I call it “sage bait.”
I call it “sage bait.”
I shared a joke and someone told me it wasn’t true.
I requested clarification and they said “Man you actually don’t understand your own joke.”
I asked them to explain my joke to me but they wouldn’t.
They said I could figure out what they meant but I couldn’t!
Can YOU?
I requested clarification and they said “Man you actually don’t understand your own joke.”
I asked them to explain my joke to me but they wouldn’t.
They said I could figure out what they meant but I couldn’t!
Can YOU?
December 3, 2025 at 3:25 PM
I shared a joke and someone told me it wasn’t true.
I requested clarification and they said “Man you actually don’t understand your own joke.”
I asked them to explain my joke to me but they wouldn’t.
They said I could figure out what they meant but I couldn’t!
Can YOU?
I requested clarification and they said “Man you actually don’t understand your own joke.”
I asked them to explain my joke to me but they wouldn’t.
They said I could figure out what they meant but I couldn’t!
Can YOU?
In the near future, all pizza delivery will be done by drones, and that may have a sizable impact on some porn storylines.
December 2, 2025 at 11:00 PM
In the near future, all pizza delivery will be done by drones, and that may have a sizable impact on some porn storylines.
Art = beauty expressed by human imagination
Craft = skill honed painstakingly over time
Arts & Crafts = popsicle sticks and glue
Craft = skill honed painstakingly over time
Arts & Crafts = popsicle sticks and glue
December 2, 2025 at 10:57 PM
Art = beauty expressed by human imagination
Craft = skill honed painstakingly over time
Arts & Crafts = popsicle sticks and glue
Craft = skill honed painstakingly over time
Arts & Crafts = popsicle sticks and glue
Winter tour!
OH! OH! OH! Merry 3 comedy shows in Ohio!
Plus Pennsylvania and Kansas!
Wildcat Mansion in PA
The Auricle in Canton, OH
The Attic in Columbus, OH
Hilarities in Cleveland, OH
The Comedy Club of Lawrence, KS
Poster by McKinley Cox!
Tickets at Myqkaplan.com or punchup.live/myqkaplan
OH! OH! OH! Merry 3 comedy shows in Ohio!
Plus Pennsylvania and Kansas!
Wildcat Mansion in PA
The Auricle in Canton, OH
The Attic in Columbus, OH
Hilarities in Cleveland, OH
The Comedy Club of Lawrence, KS
Poster by McKinley Cox!
Tickets at Myqkaplan.com or punchup.live/myqkaplan
December 2, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Winter tour!
OH! OH! OH! Merry 3 comedy shows in Ohio!
Plus Pennsylvania and Kansas!
Wildcat Mansion in PA
The Auricle in Canton, OH
The Attic in Columbus, OH
Hilarities in Cleveland, OH
The Comedy Club of Lawrence, KS
Poster by McKinley Cox!
Tickets at Myqkaplan.com or punchup.live/myqkaplan
OH! OH! OH! Merry 3 comedy shows in Ohio!
Plus Pennsylvania and Kansas!
Wildcat Mansion in PA
The Auricle in Canton, OH
The Attic in Columbus, OH
Hilarities in Cleveland, OH
The Comedy Club of Lawrence, KS
Poster by McKinley Cox!
Tickets at Myqkaplan.com or punchup.live/myqkaplan
As a stand-up, you don’t want to sound too much like any other comedians, so I recommend being influenced by artists and performers of other kinds: musicians, painters, dancers, sculptors.
No one’s ever said “Come on people, can’t you see this comic is just doing Rodin!”
No one’s ever said “Come on people, can’t you see this comic is just doing Rodin!”
December 2, 2025 at 6:04 PM
As a stand-up, you don’t want to sound too much like any other comedians, so I recommend being influenced by artists and performers of other kinds: musicians, painters, dancers, sculptors.
No one’s ever said “Come on people, can’t you see this comic is just doing Rodin!”
No one’s ever said “Come on people, can’t you see this comic is just doing Rodin!”
Just read that Oxford University Press picked "rage bait" as the word of the year!
Is anyone here mad about that?
Is anyone here mad about that?
December 1, 2025 at 8:23 PM
Just read that Oxford University Press picked "rage bait" as the word of the year!
Is anyone here mad about that?
Is anyone here mad about that?
When is this kid gonna grow up and be a Big Drummer Man?
December 1, 2025 at 7:48 PM
When is this kid gonna grow up and be a Big Drummer Man?
"Hatters gonna hat."
— mission statement of a haberdasher
— mission statement of a haberdasher
December 1, 2025 at 7:47 PM
"Hatters gonna hat."
— mission statement of a haberdasher
— mission statement of a haberdasher
Dance like no one’s watching OR like there are people watching but they love you and how you dance!
December 1, 2025 at 7:45 PM
Dance like no one’s watching OR like there are people watching but they love you and how you dance!
I wrote a piece about this great Mitch Hedberg joke:
“If I’m out to dinner with a group of friends and someone offers to pay for the check, I immediately reach for my wallet. Because inside is a note that says ‘Say thanks.’”
It’s also about Thich Nhat Hanh and the Dalai Lama.
Enjoy! Thanks!
“If I’m out to dinner with a group of friends and someone offers to pay for the check, I immediately reach for my wallet. Because inside is a note that says ‘Say thanks.’”
It’s also about Thich Nhat Hanh and the Dalai Lama.
Enjoy! Thanks!
Mitch Hedberg, Thich Nhat Hanh, and Gratitude Stretching From Infinity to Other Infinity!
Thank you!
open.substack.com
December 1, 2025 at 3:24 PM
I wrote a piece about this great Mitch Hedberg joke:
“If I’m out to dinner with a group of friends and someone offers to pay for the check, I immediately reach for my wallet. Because inside is a note that says ‘Say thanks.’”
It’s also about Thich Nhat Hanh and the Dalai Lama.
Enjoy! Thanks!
“If I’m out to dinner with a group of friends and someone offers to pay for the check, I immediately reach for my wallet. Because inside is a note that says ‘Say thanks.’”
It’s also about Thich Nhat Hanh and the Dalai Lama.
Enjoy! Thanks!
This message is for all the folks out there who might be struggling with their identities, you know who you are.
December 1, 2025 at 2:42 PM
This message is for all the folks out there who might be struggling with their identities, you know who you are.
Another day, another stand-up joke in picture form!
Enjoy still images of me telling jokes? Then you might enjoy my new one-hour special “Rini” free on YT right now and forever!
Also I hope you enjoy THIS joke. And whatever else you enjoy!
#standupcomedy #jokes #funny #standup #comedy
📸: Sam Lee
Enjoy still images of me telling jokes? Then you might enjoy my new one-hour special “Rini” free on YT right now and forever!
Also I hope you enjoy THIS joke. And whatever else you enjoy!
#standupcomedy #jokes #funny #standup #comedy
📸: Sam Lee
December 1, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Another day, another stand-up joke in picture form!
Enjoy still images of me telling jokes? Then you might enjoy my new one-hour special “Rini” free on YT right now and forever!
Also I hope you enjoy THIS joke. And whatever else you enjoy!
#standupcomedy #jokes #funny #standup #comedy
📸: Sam Lee
Enjoy still images of me telling jokes? Then you might enjoy my new one-hour special “Rini” free on YT right now and forever!
Also I hope you enjoy THIS joke. And whatever else you enjoy!
#standupcomedy #jokes #funny #standup #comedy
📸: Sam Lee
Recently rewatched all the Back to the Future movies.
Never realized until now how funny the town name is: “Hill Valley.”
A valley of hills.
Good work!
Never realized until now how funny the town name is: “Hill Valley.”
A valley of hills.
Good work!
December 1, 2025 at 4:22 AM
Recently rewatched all the Back to the Future movies.
Never realized until now how funny the town name is: “Hill Valley.”
A valley of hills.
Good work!
Never realized until now how funny the town name is: “Hill Valley.”
A valley of hills.
Good work!
"Home Alone" is a "Die Hard" movie.
November 30, 2025 at 4:39 PM
"Home Alone" is a "Die Hard" movie.
Algebra was easy in Ancient Rome.
X = 10.
X = 10.
November 30, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Algebra was easy in Ancient Rome.
X = 10.
X = 10.
I haven't heard anyone say "in a hot minute" in a hot minute.
November 30, 2025 at 4:37 PM
I haven't heard anyone say "in a hot minute" in a hot minute.
Reposted by Myq Kaplan
Today’s little gift guide includes shout outs to @myqkaplan.bsky.social @parkermolloy.com @raicestexas.bsky.social and more!
For Your Holiday Donations & Shopping
It has been snowing since 3 a.m. and I'm eating a corn dog for lunch
open.substack.com
November 29, 2025 at 8:43 PM
Today’s little gift guide includes shout outs to @myqkaplan.bsky.social @parkermolloy.com @raicestexas.bsky.social and more!