Myq Kaplan
@myqkaplan.bsky.social
I’m a comedian!
New special “Rini” on YouTube 11/19/25:
https://youtu.be/y0uf9i_z-Aw
Tour dates: https://punchup.live/myqkaplan
More info: http://linktr.ee/myqkaplan
New special “Rini” on YouTube 11/19/25:
https://youtu.be/y0uf9i_z-Aw
Tour dates: https://punchup.live/myqkaplan
More info: http://linktr.ee/myqkaplan
This week I wrote a piece about this Ramin Nazer artwork that I love.
It’s also about advice columns, the Buddha, and Seinfeld a little bit.
I hope you enjoy!
open.substack.com/pub/myqkapla...
It’s also about advice columns, the Buddha, and Seinfeld a little bit.
I hope you enjoy!
open.substack.com/pub/myqkapla...
December 7, 2025 at 5:34 PM
This week I wrote a piece about this Ramin Nazer artwork that I love.
It’s also about advice columns, the Buddha, and Seinfeld a little bit.
I hope you enjoy!
open.substack.com/pub/myqkapla...
It’s also about advice columns, the Buddha, and Seinfeld a little bit.
I hope you enjoy!
open.substack.com/pub/myqkapla...
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December 7, 2025 at 5:21 PM
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Yesterday? Yes.
Yesterweek? No.
Yestermonth? No.
Yesteryear? Yes.
Yesterdecade? No.
Yestercentury? No.
Yestermillennium? Should be Yes based on the established Yes No No pattern.
Yesterweek? No.
Yestermonth? No.
Yesteryear? Yes.
Yesterdecade? No.
Yestercentury? No.
Yestermillennium? Should be Yes based on the established Yes No No pattern.
December 7, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Yesterday? Yes.
Yesterweek? No.
Yestermonth? No.
Yesteryear? Yes.
Yesterdecade? No.
Yestercentury? No.
Yestermillennium? Should be Yes based on the established Yes No No pattern.
Yesterweek? No.
Yestermonth? No.
Yesteryear? Yes.
Yesterdecade? No.
Yestercentury? No.
Yestermillennium? Should be Yes based on the established Yes No No pattern.
"Ah, my old stomping grounds"
— horses visiting their former math classrooms
— horses visiting their former math classrooms
December 7, 2025 at 5:15 PM
"Ah, my old stomping grounds"
— horses visiting their former math classrooms
— horses visiting their former math classrooms
I’m fortunate to be the friend of the incredible artist Dan Piraro.
He created the cartoon Bizarro and also lots of other great art and writing and was kind and thoughtful enough to include this lovely recommendation of my new comedy special “Rini” in his blog.
Thank you Dan and thank you all!
He created the cartoon Bizarro and also lots of other great art and writing and was kind and thoughtful enough to include this lovely recommendation of my new comedy special “Rini” in his blog.
Thank you Dan and thank you all!
December 7, 2025 at 5:09 PM
I’m fortunate to be the friend of the incredible artist Dan Piraro.
He created the cartoon Bizarro and also lots of other great art and writing and was kind and thoughtful enough to include this lovely recommendation of my new comedy special “Rini” in his blog.
Thank you Dan and thank you all!
He created the cartoon Bizarro and also lots of other great art and writing and was kind and thoughtful enough to include this lovely recommendation of my new comedy special “Rini” in his blog.
Thank you Dan and thank you all!
Can you believe the thing that happened recently?
It is very different from previous things!
It is very different from previous things!
December 7, 2025 at 2:53 AM
Can you believe the thing that happened recently?
It is very different from previous things!
It is very different from previous things!
I am in SAG!
Which means that Quentin Tarantino thinks that I am a stronger actor than Paul Dano (who is a very good actor)!
Thanks QT!
Which means that Quentin Tarantino thinks that I am a stronger actor than Paul Dano (who is a very good actor)!
Thanks QT!
December 7, 2025 at 12:25 AM
I am in SAG!
Which means that Quentin Tarantino thinks that I am a stronger actor than Paul Dano (who is a very good actor)!
Thanks QT!
Which means that Quentin Tarantino thinks that I am a stronger actor than Paul Dano (who is a very good actor)!
Thanks QT!
I think it would be very funny if the Nobel committee gives out a prize for soccer next year.
December 6, 2025 at 8:03 PM
I think it would be very funny if the Nobel committee gives out a prize for soccer next year.
Most presidents would be content for their legacy to be a soccer-based peace prize OR a new Rush Hour movie, but both?!
December 6, 2025 at 7:31 PM
Most presidents would be content for their legacy to be a soccer-based peace prize OR a new Rush Hour movie, but both?!
LIFE HACK: if anyone ever tells you to “eat shit and die,” feel free to imagine it with commas, like a companion piece to “eat, pray, love”... “eat, shit, and die.”
December 6, 2025 at 6:23 PM
LIFE HACK: if anyone ever tells you to “eat shit and die,” feel free to imagine it with commas, like a companion piece to “eat, pray, love”... “eat, shit, and die.”
My mom shared this fun story.
I shared it with the internet.
The reactions have ranged from “THIS IS BRILLIANT” to “why not just be honest and direct with people” (which is brilliant).
Lots of people shared THEIR versions of what they do in this situation. Want to share yours?
Much love, all!
I shared it with the internet.
The reactions have ranged from “THIS IS BRILLIANT” to “why not just be honest and direct with people” (which is brilliant).
Lots of people shared THEIR versions of what they do in this situation. Want to share yours?
Much love, all!
December 6, 2025 at 5:54 PM
My mom shared this fun story.
I shared it with the internet.
The reactions have ranged from “THIS IS BRILLIANT” to “why not just be honest and direct with people” (which is brilliant).
Lots of people shared THEIR versions of what they do in this situation. Want to share yours?
Much love, all!
I shared it with the internet.
The reactions have ranged from “THIS IS BRILLIANT” to “why not just be honest and direct with people” (which is brilliant).
Lots of people shared THEIR versions of what they do in this situation. Want to share yours?
Much love, all!
Hey everyone, who do you think is going to win the FIFA Peace Prize NEXT year?
December 6, 2025 at 4:27 PM
Hey everyone, who do you think is going to win the FIFA Peace Prize NEXT year?
"Hey Picasso! People don't look like that!"
— if internet comments existed in Picasso's day
— if internet comments existed in Picasso's day
December 5, 2025 at 4:57 PM
"Hey Picasso! People don't look like that!"
— if internet comments existed in Picasso's day
— if internet comments existed in Picasso's day
Here's a tip from my grandfather that my mom recently shared with me:
If you want to get off the phone with someone, hang up in the middle of YOUR OWN sentence.
If you want to get off the phone with someone, hang up in the middle of YOUR OWN sentence.
December 5, 2025 at 4:55 PM
Here's a tip from my grandfather that my mom recently shared with me:
If you want to get off the phone with someone, hang up in the middle of YOUR OWN sentence.
If you want to get off the phone with someone, hang up in the middle of YOUR OWN sentence.
Many geese, one goose.
So why isn't one of many sheep called a "shoop"?
So why isn't one of many sheep called a "shoop"?
December 5, 2025 at 4:54 PM
Many geese, one goose.
So why isn't one of many sheep called a "shoop"?
So why isn't one of many sheep called a "shoop"?
Frankincense AND myrrh?
In THIS economy?
In THIS economy?
December 5, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Frankincense AND myrrh?
In THIS economy?
In THIS economy?
I wrote a joke about the observer effect but I can't let anyone see it or it’ll become a different joke.
December 5, 2025 at 4:51 PM
I wrote a joke about the observer effect but I can't let anyone see it or it’ll become a different joke.
"The dog ate my homework."
"Excellent! You get an A+ in this cooking class for pets."
"Excellent! You get an A+ in this cooking class for pets."
December 5, 2025 at 4:50 PM
"The dog ate my homework."
"Excellent! You get an A+ in this cooking class for pets."
"Excellent! You get an A+ in this cooking class for pets."
Some fun loose riffing with a lady in a tiara!
If you prefer tightly written and planned jokes over fun loose riffing, why not check out my new special “Rini” which is free on YouTube right now and forever?
I hope you enjoy this, that, and/or whatever you enjoy!
#funny #standup #comedy #jokes
If you prefer tightly written and planned jokes over fun loose riffing, why not check out my new special “Rini” which is free on YouTube right now and forever?
I hope you enjoy this, that, and/or whatever you enjoy!
#funny #standup #comedy #jokes
December 5, 2025 at 3:48 PM
Has there ever been a ventriloquist act where it’s the HUMAN who says horrible things and the DUMMY is the reasonable one who tries to get them to settle down?
December 5, 2025 at 1:50 AM
Has there ever been a ventriloquist act where it’s the HUMAN who says horrible things and the DUMMY is the reasonable one who tries to get them to settle down?
Looks like it’s time for another joke in visual form!
If you enjoy seeing these words, may I recommend my new special “Rini” on YouTube? You can even put the captions on, if looking at the words is something you always value.
Thanks all! Much love!
📸: Moonloop Photography
#comedy #jokes #funny
If you enjoy seeing these words, may I recommend my new special “Rini” on YouTube? You can even put the captions on, if looking at the words is something you always value.
Thanks all! Much love!
📸: Moonloop Photography
#comedy #jokes #funny
December 4, 2025 at 6:47 PM
Just saw a guy wave his hand like a Jedi to open the automatic sliding doors at the grocery store AND IT WORKED, NEW GOALS!
December 3, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Just saw a guy wave his hand like a Jedi to open the automatic sliding doors at the grocery store AND IT WORKED, NEW GOALS!
People seem to be enjoying jokes in this new photo format, right?
And if you also enjoy stand-up comedy in spoken form, feel free to check out my new special “Rini” on YouTube! It’s an hour of jokes and it’s free!
But if you just want to read this one, here!
Thanks all!
#jokes #comedy #funny
And if you also enjoy stand-up comedy in spoken form, feel free to check out my new special “Rini” on YouTube! It’s an hour of jokes and it’s free!
But if you just want to read this one, here!
Thanks all!
#jokes #comedy #funny
December 3, 2025 at 8:33 PM
We’ve all heard that “laughter is the best medicine,” but I’ve never seen a commercial that said “Ask your doctor if laughter is right for you.”
December 3, 2025 at 6:31 PM
We’ve all heard that “laughter is the best medicine,” but I’ve never seen a commercial that said “Ask your doctor if laughter is right for you.”