Mood last night

M: no, I've never done that

S: that's cuz ur soft... I can see it in your eyes *takes a swig of rum*

M: I guess so

S: so what're u doing?

M: going home

S: me too. It's really nice at my house

M: 👍

S: 😉🥺

M: *gets off tram*

Real Convo I had on the tram w/ a stranger:

ME: *sits next to a guy drinkin rum*

STRANGER: u can sit here handsome

M: ?

S: u can sit here, ur cute
*A few seconds go by*

S: u gay?

M: ?
S: I can tell

M: that a problem?
S: no. I'm a little like that. But don't tell 🤫

M: 👍

S: u like fisting?

R.I.P. it used to be 25 :(

I feel you, I'm trying to go when I'm in America!

I'm happy I work in France because I never have to hear phrases like "to circle back" and "to piggyback on what he just said"

Watched ONE nasty food ranking video on Instagram reels, now half my algorithm is videos of people reacting to disgusting-looking recipes :(

You can only eat one thing forever, no extra seasonings, what do you choose? limes, pickles, Walmart cupcakes or slim Jims?

Idk

I love how they just see the constitution as a recommendation

Thinking bout Zyrtec

Yeah the vibes feel more similar to social media 13 years ago lol

Oooooooh whatcha getting???

You say Hitler was right just a half dozen times in multiple ways on the website you invited all the Nazis who’d been kicked off to rejoin and all of a sudden people get the weird idea you’re an antisemite.