Nick Katz
@nickkatz.bsky.social
Critters, comidy, typos, nature, science, movies, horror...other stuff.
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Nick Katz
@nickkatz.bsky.social
· May 28
I came home today to find my neighbor cleaning out my gutters. I asked if he wanted to be paid for the service and he said "No, I got what I came for," and began eating the rotten leaves.
An hour later he drove his riding mower into the side of his house and his head fell off.
4/5 stars on yelp.
An hour later he drove his riding mower into the side of his house and his head fell off.
4/5 stars on yelp.
***watching Hank ordering minerals on Breaking Bad***
What a loser! Dude's just buying a bunch of rocks?
...Wait a minute, that is a great deal on blue corundum.
What a loser! Dude's just buying a bunch of rocks?
...Wait a minute, that is a great deal on blue corundum.
a close up of a man reading a book in a room .
ALT: a close up of a man reading a book in a room .
media.tenor.com
December 14, 2025 at 11:20 PM
***watching Hank ordering minerals on Breaking Bad***
What a loser! Dude's just buying a bunch of rocks?
...Wait a minute, that is a great deal on blue corundum.
What a loser! Dude's just buying a bunch of rocks?
...Wait a minute, that is a great deal on blue corundum.
Stranger: You wouldn't happen to know where I can find an atm machine, would ya?
Me: Pal, you just found one.
Me: Pal, you just found one.
a woman in a wig and glasses is sitting at a table with the words `` dirty boy '' written on the screen .
ALT: a woman in a wig and glasses is sitting at a table with the words `` dirty boy '' written on the screen .
media.tenor.com
December 11, 2025 at 3:17 PM
Stranger: You wouldn't happen to know where I can find an atm machine, would ya?
Me: Pal, you just found one.
Me: Pal, you just found one.
"The thing is, no matter what we call applesauce, it’s gonna get sold. The sauce has cinnamon, we’re gonna sell it. The sauce is sugar free, we’re gonna sell twice as much. You know why? ‘Cause a fiend, he’s gonna chase that sauce no matter what."
-Russell "Stringer" Bell
The Wire
-Russell "Stringer" Bell
The Wire
a man wearing glasses and a plaid sweater is talking to a woman
ALT: a man wearing glasses and a plaid sweater is talking to a woman
media.tenor.com
December 11, 2025 at 4:32 AM
"The thing is, no matter what we call applesauce, it’s gonna get sold. The sauce has cinnamon, we’re gonna sell it. The sauce is sugar free, we’re gonna sell twice as much. You know why? ‘Cause a fiend, he’s gonna chase that sauce no matter what."
-Russell "Stringer" Bell
The Wire
-Russell "Stringer" Bell
The Wire
I tried to tell a joke to the dental billing lady about how my tooth extraction was "like pulling teeth," but I had so much gauze in my numb mouth that it just came out as some muffled grunting.
She'll never know how funny the joke she's undoubtedly heard a thousand times would have been.
She'll never know how funny the joke she's undoubtedly heard a thousand times would have been.
a close up of a man 's face with the word shame on it .
ALT: a close up of a man 's face with the word shame on it .
media.tenor.com
December 11, 2025 at 12:50 AM
I tried to tell a joke to the dental billing lady about how my tooth extraction was "like pulling teeth," but I had so much gauze in my numb mouth that it just came out as some muffled grunting.
She'll never know how funny the joke she's undoubtedly heard a thousand times would have been.
She'll never know how funny the joke she's undoubtedly heard a thousand times would have been.
I have a drinking glass without a bottom. It's full proof.
December 10, 2025 at 3:50 AM
I have a drinking glass without a bottom. It's full proof.
ditch water>figi water
shoestring>any toy u buy
something alive>wets
dirty hamper>cat bed
cat>you
These are the ways of the cat.
shoestring>any toy u buy
something alive>wets
dirty hamper>cat bed
cat>you
These are the ways of the cat.
December 9, 2025 at 11:19 PM
ditch water>figi water
shoestring>any toy u buy
something alive>wets
dirty hamper>cat bed
cat>you
These are the ways of the cat.
shoestring>any toy u buy
something alive>wets
dirty hamper>cat bed
cat>you
These are the ways of the cat.
What they did to John Dutton in Yellowstone was pretty gutsy.
December 9, 2025 at 12:54 AM
What they did to John Dutton in Yellowstone was pretty gutsy.
Reposted by Nick Katz
(Laying in bed sick)
My cat: not feeling well huh? here, my ass in your face oughtta help
My cat: not feeling well huh? here, my ass in your face oughtta help
December 8, 2025 at 2:01 PM
(Laying in bed sick)
My cat: not feeling well huh? here, my ass in your face oughtta help
My cat: not feeling well huh? here, my ass in your face oughtta help
When I grew up in Georgia, we didn't have any snow. We didn't know what the hell a snowman was. We had Peach Pits The Rot Hole and that's how we liked it. They were eight foot deep pits full of rotting peaches in everyone's front yard. You were entitled to keep whatever got trapped in them.
jack frost is sitting in a car with his head out the window
ALT: jack frost is sitting in a car with his head out the window
media.tenor.com
December 8, 2025 at 3:08 PM
When I grew up in Georgia, we didn't have any snow. We didn't know what the hell a snowman was. We had Peach Pits The Rot Hole and that's how we liked it. They were eight foot deep pits full of rotting peaches in everyone's front yard. You were entitled to keep whatever got trapped in them.
Hamnet? Obviously. What else would you use to catch ham?
a woman is sitting on a couch with candles in the background and says ham !
ALT: a woman is sitting on a couch with candles in the background and says ham !
media.tenor.com
December 8, 2025 at 2:59 PM
Hamnet? Obviously. What else would you use to catch ham?
Trump calling Tim Walz retarded probably hasn't even registered due to the amount of pain that T-Wal must be in after Menard's ended the 11% rebate. I share his pain.
a man in a suit and tie is standing in front of a microphone on a blue background .
ALT: a man in a suit and tie is standing in front of a microphone on a blue background .
media.tenor.com
December 6, 2025 at 2:15 PM
Trump calling Tim Walz retarded probably hasn't even registered due to the amount of pain that T-Wal must be in after Menard's ended the 11% rebate. I share his pain.
She's just mashin' it, but, I do get the excitement of auctions.
December 4, 2025 at 4:28 PM
She's just mashin' it, but, I do get the excitement of auctions.
Fifteen minutes after getting home;
December 4, 2025 at 6:05 AM
Fifteen minutes after getting home;
If you're an Adult Swim fan, or like absurdist comedy (Tim Robinson/Chair Company), then I highly recommend Joe Cappa's "Haha, You Clowns."
If you like that, it was also a series on Youtube, which is equally amazing.
It's the cat's meow!
If you like that, it was also a series on Youtube, which is equally amazing.
It's the cat's meow!
December 3, 2025 at 12:39 PM
If you're an Adult Swim fan, or like absurdist comedy (Tim Robinson/Chair Company), then I highly recommend Joe Cappa's "Haha, You Clowns."
If you like that, it was also a series on Youtube, which is equally amazing.
It's the cat's meow!
If you like that, it was also a series on Youtube, which is equally amazing.
It's the cat's meow!
What do we want?
Wets!
When do we want 'em?
Wets!
Wets!
When do we want 'em?
Wets!
December 2, 2025 at 3:52 PM
What do we want?
Wets!
When do we want 'em?
Wets!
Wets!
When do we want 'em?
Wets!
*Forrest Gump voice*
I had a tooth extracted today. The dentist said my tooth came out like a carrot after a thunderstorm.
I had a tooth extracted today. The dentist said my tooth came out like a carrot after a thunderstorm.
December 2, 2025 at 12:09 AM
*Forrest Gump voice*
I had a tooth extracted today. The dentist said my tooth came out like a carrot after a thunderstorm.
I had a tooth extracted today. The dentist said my tooth came out like a carrot after a thunderstorm.
It was a special night for this neighborhood kitty. He slept in the bed next to me for the first time. I guess he's comfortable (or cold) now.
Unfortunately, we also discovered that turkey gives him room clearing gas.
I was looking under furniture for turds. It was that bad. 🤭
Unfortunately, we also discovered that turkey gives him room clearing gas.
I was looking under furniture for turds. It was that bad. 🤭
November 28, 2025 at 5:04 PM
It was a special night for this neighborhood kitty. He slept in the bed next to me for the first time. I guess he's comfortable (or cold) now.
Unfortunately, we also discovered that turkey gives him room clearing gas.
I was looking under furniture for turds. It was that bad. 🤭
Unfortunately, we also discovered that turkey gives him room clearing gas.
I was looking under furniture for turds. It was that bad. 🤭
Me: I'll never forget you. Goodbye, old friend.
Corn: I hate goodbyes. Let's just call it "See ya later."
Corn: I hate goodbyes. Let's just call it "See ya later."
November 28, 2025 at 2:39 PM
Me: I'll never forget you. Goodbye, old friend.
Corn: I hate goodbyes. Let's just call it "See ya later."
Corn: I hate goodbyes. Let's just call it "See ya later."
*showing my neighbor pictures of dinner*
Neighbor: "That's an insane amount of food. You really go all out for Thanksgiving, huh?"
Me: "Thankswhatnow?"
Neighbor: "That's an insane amount of food. You really go all out for Thanksgiving, huh?"
Me: "Thankswhatnow?"
November 28, 2025 at 1:45 PM
*showing my neighbor pictures of dinner*
Neighbor: "That's an insane amount of food. You really go all out for Thanksgiving, huh?"
Me: "Thankswhatnow?"
Neighbor: "That's an insane amount of food. You really go all out for Thanksgiving, huh?"
Me: "Thankswhatnow?"
Things have taken a "shocking" turn 😈:
November 27, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Things have taken a "shocking" turn 😈:
I've always thought that it was a bold choice for Paul Giamatti to grow his hair out for "Sideways."
I mean, just look at him. You could almost braid his shoulder hair.
I mean, just look at him. You could almost braid his shoulder hair.
November 26, 2025 at 5:29 PM
I've always thought that it was a bold choice for Paul Giamatti to grow his hair out for "Sideways."
I mean, just look at him. You could almost braid his shoulder hair.
I mean, just look at him. You could almost braid his shoulder hair.
Find someone that loves you as much as this cat love's her rug.
November 26, 2025 at 2:51 PM
Find someone that loves you as much as this cat love's her rug.