nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus
@nordstrom.bsky.social
dog lover but not in a weird way
my therapist referred me to an expert in enduring torture. all my clocks move twice as slow now. i'm constantly smoking cigarettes. grew a really long beard, now i have to eat my really flaky croissant after i shower. or was it before? on my long morning walks i've become a friend to the birds
December 13, 2025 at 5:52 PM
my therapist referred me to an expert in enduring torture. all my clocks move twice as slow now. i'm constantly smoking cigarettes. grew a really long beard, now i have to eat my really flaky croissant after i shower. or was it before? on my long morning walks i've become a friend to the birds
they're dragging the lake that my stream of consciousness runs into. for bodies
December 13, 2025 at 5:16 PM
they're dragging the lake that my stream of consciousness runs into. for bodies
it's so great that gas stations have all of my favorite types of gas available. can't get enough of that premium fuel. unleaded? also to die for
December 13, 2025 at 6:22 AM
it's so great that gas stations have all of my favorite types of gas available. can't get enough of that premium fuel. unleaded? also to die for
the friends we made along the way have just perished. hate to break it to you but i'm pretty sure that's what just happened
December 13, 2025 at 6:17 AM
the friends we made along the way have just perished. hate to break it to you but i'm pretty sure that's what just happened
i love it when i get penalized
December 12, 2025 at 1:59 AM
i love it when i get penalized
you don't even want to know what they do with the crust at the uncrustables factory
December 12, 2025 at 1:53 AM
you don't even want to know what they do with the crust at the uncrustables factory
when train wrote calling all angels, do you think they were calling the angels of science, or no?
December 12, 2025 at 1:49 AM
when train wrote calling all angels, do you think they were calling the angels of science, or no?
so can anyone explain why 2011 toyota prius is filled to the brim with piss?
December 12, 2025 at 12:43 AM
so can anyone explain why 2011 toyota prius is filled to the brim with piss?
tarzan and george of the jungle are the same person to me. i don't have it in me to differentiate that shit
December 11, 2025 at 7:38 PM
tarzan and george of the jungle are the same person to me. i don't have it in me to differentiate that shit
are there angels of science?
December 11, 2025 at 4:07 AM
are there angels of science?
they updated my firmware. procedurally generated intrusive thoughts
December 11, 2025 at 1:56 AM
they updated my firmware. procedurally generated intrusive thoughts
don't ever tell me to "do the math". i'm not your little numbers clown
December 11, 2025 at 1:36 AM
don't ever tell me to "do the math". i'm not your little numbers clown
don't archive me for 30 days delete me for good
December 10, 2025 at 11:38 PM
don't archive me for 30 days delete me for good
ok i've said enough. computer, delete me
December 10, 2025 at 11:37 PM
ok i've said enough. computer, delete me
who else out there slogin their hog through the fog of the bog on their way to prague for some egg nog cus they're a big dog woof woof
December 10, 2025 at 11:34 PM
who else out there slogin their hog through the fog of the bog on their way to prague for some egg nog cus they're a big dog woof woof
all the kings horses fucked me up bigtime
December 10, 2025 at 11:14 PM
all the kings horses fucked me up bigtime
singing 99 of the most baller hymns of a dipshit god
December 10, 2025 at 1:33 AM
singing 99 of the most baller hymns of a dipshit god
they tried giving me 2,000 units of capri sun in the ICU but my body rejected it, so they flew me out to the monastery where i will spend the remainder of my days learning what it really means to "respect the pouch"
December 9, 2025 at 1:35 PM
they tried giving me 2,000 units of capri sun in the ICU but my body rejected it, so they flew me out to the monastery where i will spend the remainder of my days learning what it really means to "respect the pouch"
girl has anyone ever told you that you'd make a great druid in my dnd campaign?
December 6, 2025 at 4:29 AM
girl has anyone ever told you that you'd make a great druid in my dnd campaign?
i'm a bit surprised by blood command even being on the list but i did discover them this year and must have listened to them a shit ton. return of the arsonist is a sick ep and she definitely was my favorite blood command vocalist of the 3
December 3, 2025 at 3:02 PM
i'm a bit surprised by blood command even being on the list but i did discover them this year and must have listened to them a shit ton. return of the arsonist is a sick ep and she definitely was my favorite blood command vocalist of the 3
welcome to my home. the basement is where i keep my materials
December 1, 2025 at 12:46 AM
welcome to my home. the basement is where i keep my materials
sorry i can't hang out tonight i'm working doubles with the boys
November 29, 2025 at 6:28 PM
sorry i can't hang out tonight i'm working doubles with the boys
they had to send out the best topologists they had on staff to untangle me from the chains they put on the pens at the bank
November 29, 2025 at 6:11 PM
they had to send out the best topologists they had on staff to untangle me from the chains they put on the pens at the bank
i'm a sloppy bitch that lives for dramamine
November 29, 2025 at 4:50 PM
i'm a sloppy bitch that lives for dramamine
someone should do something about this. {{gestures broadly at everything}}
November 27, 2025 at 1:07 AM
someone should do something about this. {{gestures broadly at everything}}