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Normal Island News
@normalisland.co.uk
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BREAKING: Staggering scenes as brave Iranians stand up to their illegitimate government in Tehran... um, hang on, I'm being told this is actually Minneapolis. Forget I said anything...
BREAKING: The people who did this to Gaza are deeply concerned that Iran might have broken international humanitarian law
January 12, 2026 at 12:25 PM
As a proud western feminist, I'm hoping Trump sends a female stealth bomber pilot to liberate the women of Iran. Truly, it is the dream of every Iranian woman to die at the hands of an American girl boss ❤️
January 12, 2026 at 1:17 AM
Hey America, I've just invaded Mar-a-Lago and kidnapped President Trump and his wife. Unless you submit to my rule and hand over 100% of your country's resources, you will never see him again. You have been warned ♥️
January 11, 2026 at 1:36 PM
Reposted by Normal Island News
Democracy is when another country imposes a monarch on you x

www.normalisland.co.uk/p/us-hoping-...
US hoping to make man King of Iran in the name of democracy
As mass protests erupt across the US, it is important that we in the western media give you wall-to-wall coverage of the protests...
www.normalisland.co.uk
January 10, 2026 at 1:55 PM
BREAKING: Staggering scenes as brave Iranians stand up to their illegitimate government in Tehran... um, hang on, I'm being told this is actually Minneapolis. Forget I said anything...
January 11, 2026 at 11:54 AM
Democracy is when another country imposes a monarch on you x

www.normalisland.co.uk/p/us-hoping-...
US hoping to make man King of Iran in the name of democracy
As mass protests erupt across the US, it is important that we in the western media give you wall-to-wall coverage of the protests...
www.normalisland.co.uk
January 10, 2026 at 1:55 PM
BREAKING: JD Vance has confirmed that Renee Good was a "domestic terrorist" after investigators found a deadly assortment of children's toys in her glove compartment 😲
January 8, 2026 at 8:49 PM
A woman was reversing in Asda car park today and she almost bumped into my trolley so she said "sorry". I said "that's okay", but my American friends are saying the correct response would have been to shoot her in the head three times and claim I acted in self-defence 🤷‍♀️
January 8, 2026 at 4:48 PM
BREAKING: Supporters of Charlie Kirk say they no longer oppose political violence as long as the victims are young mothers with pronouns in their bios ♥️
January 8, 2026 at 1:43 PM
BREAKING: Outrage after Venezuelan law enforcers shoot innocent woman in face and celebrate on camera. This proves the Maduro regime is... hang on, I'm hearing this was actually in the US and it was just an ICE agent doing their job, it's fine x
January 8, 2026 at 9:35 AM
US conquers Greenland and quickly changes mind after realising it's cold and there's nothing there

www.normalisland.co.uk/p/us-conquer...
US conquers Greenland and quickly changes mind after realising it's cold and there's nothing there
For a while now, Trump has been talking of capturing a place he hadn’t heard of until last year: that place is Greenland.
www.normalisland.co.uk
January 7, 2026 at 5:19 PM
BREAKING: Netanyahu has confirmed he had nothing to do with the death of the judge who was presiding over his corruption case and the car crash was definitely an accident. I trust this settles the matter.
January 6, 2026 at 10:24 PM
BREAKING: Fox News has confirmed that when it reported that no people were killed during attacks on Venezuela, it meant no white people were killed. Over 80 brown people were killed, but Fox doesn't care about those ♥️
January 6, 2026 at 9:58 PM
I used to think that Trump covering up the Epstein files was bad, but now that he is waging an illegal war against Venezuela and kidnapping people and stealing oil, I totally forgot that he is a paedophile and rapist ♥️
January 6, 2026 at 9:47 PM
BREAKING: Keir Starmer has issued a statement on Greenland and Venezuela confirming that Greenland deserves sovereignty and Venezuela doesn't because international law is only for white countries like Denmark ♥️
January 6, 2026 at 4:48 PM
BREAKING: President Trump announces plan to force himself onto Greenland without consent like it's a teenage girl on Epstein's yacht x
January 5, 2026 at 6:30 PM
BREAKING: President Trump has confirmed that Greenland is just weeks away from developing a nuclear weapon 👀
January 5, 2026 at 10:05 AM
he turned me down x
January 4, 2026 at 9:59 PM
January 4, 2026 at 3:47 PM
BREAKING: President Trump issues urgent presidential pardon to Nicolas Maduro after discovering he is also on the Epstein list 👀
January 3, 2026 at 8:30 PM
BREAKING: Israel has explained it had no choice but to ban Doctors Without Borders after discovering the organisation had been infiltrated by doctors x
January 2, 2026 at 3:53 PM
BREAKING: Israel has banned Doctors Without Borders from entering Gaza because healing injured Palestinians is terrorism now x
December 30, 2025 at 11:09 PM
Cool money-making idea: set up fake company, lie to get massive contract from government, buy yourself yacht with your new millions, get made a baroness for your hard work, fail to fulfil contract, wind up the company when you're ordered to pay money back. Isn't that clever? ♥️
December 22, 2025 at 5:42 PM