OGfattcatt
@ogfattcatt.bsky.social
King of the Lowbies | The Arby’s of Shitposters | Hot, for all you know
He/Him
He/Him
Anime MC: *works hard, pushes themselves to breaking point, surpasses their rivals - gets kick ass magic fighting powers & becomes friends with a dragon or some shit.*
Me: *works hard, pushes myself to breaking point, surpasses my rivals - gets to leave work a little early on a Friday one time.*
Me: *works hard, pushes myself to breaking point, surpasses my rivals - gets to leave work a little early on a Friday one time.*
November 10, 2025 at 3:13 PM
Anime MC: *works hard, pushes themselves to breaking point, surpasses their rivals - gets kick ass magic fighting powers & becomes friends with a dragon or some shit.*
Me: *works hard, pushes myself to breaking point, surpasses my rivals - gets to leave work a little early on a Friday one time.*
Me: *works hard, pushes myself to breaking point, surpasses my rivals - gets to leave work a little early on a Friday one time.*
Kelloggs marketer: “ok guys, how are we gonna get folks jazzed about this new cereal? What flavors can we can highli-“
Kelloggs’ insane founder: “THE SOUNDS! Focus on the sounds! To hell with taste! We’ll be the first cereal people buy for its sounds! Snap! Crackle! Pop! A feast for the ears!”
Kelloggs’ insane founder: “THE SOUNDS! Focus on the sounds! To hell with taste! We’ll be the first cereal people buy for its sounds! Snap! Crackle! Pop! A feast for the ears!”
November 7, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Kelloggs marketer: “ok guys, how are we gonna get folks jazzed about this new cereal? What flavors can we can highli-“
Kelloggs’ insane founder: “THE SOUNDS! Focus on the sounds! To hell with taste! We’ll be the first cereal people buy for its sounds! Snap! Crackle! Pop! A feast for the ears!”
Kelloggs’ insane founder: “THE SOUNDS! Focus on the sounds! To hell with taste! We’ll be the first cereal people buy for its sounds! Snap! Crackle! Pop! A feast for the ears!”
Doing that cool thing baristas do where they run their espresso drip over a little chocolate puck so it all melts into the coffee except with a babybel cheese
November 5, 2025 at 4:47 AM
Doing that cool thing baristas do where they run their espresso drip over a little chocolate puck so it all melts into the coffee except with a babybel cheese
When you use a public toilet and shit on top of someone else’s shit that’s called a New Jersey Haberdasher
November 4, 2025 at 10:33 PM
When you use a public toilet and shit on top of someone else’s shit that’s called a New Jersey Haberdasher
From the Vatican: “someone accidentally shot God in the face.”
November 4, 2025 at 7:52 PM
From the Vatican: “someone accidentally shot God in the face.”
God: “look at these lil guys I made… ha ha.. look at em running around and making little civilizations and whatnot. What a bunch of goobers…”
Angel: “yes sir. They’re very cute. Good work, as always.”
God: “…im gonna give a bunch of em cancer.”
Angel: [visibly nervous] “y-yes sir, very good sir.”
Angel: “yes sir. They’re very cute. Good work, as always.”
God: “…im gonna give a bunch of em cancer.”
Angel: [visibly nervous] “y-yes sir, very good sir.”
November 4, 2025 at 7:50 PM
God: “look at these lil guys I made… ha ha.. look at em running around and making little civilizations and whatnot. What a bunch of goobers…”
Angel: “yes sir. They’re very cute. Good work, as always.”
God: “…im gonna give a bunch of em cancer.”
Angel: [visibly nervous] “y-yes sir, very good sir.”
Angel: “yes sir. They’re very cute. Good work, as always.”
God: “…im gonna give a bunch of em cancer.”
Angel: [visibly nervous] “y-yes sir, very good sir.”
Wish me luck ya’ll. Bout to go do battle with the NIMBY hoard to expand SUD services in an area that just barely butts up against an affluent retirement community.
The kicker is we’ve already been operating there for 3 years with no issues and just want to add a couple more beds but they’re PISSED.
The kicker is we’ve already been operating there for 3 years with no issues and just want to add a couple more beds but they’re PISSED.
November 3, 2025 at 9:51 PM
Wish me luck ya’ll. Bout to go do battle with the NIMBY hoard to expand SUD services in an area that just barely butts up against an affluent retirement community.
The kicker is we’ve already been operating there for 3 years with no issues and just want to add a couple more beds but they’re PISSED.
The kicker is we’ve already been operating there for 3 years with no issues and just want to add a couple more beds but they’re PISSED.
Quote of the day: “I’ve never bought a Snuggie for someone I respected”
November 3, 2025 at 9:47 PM
Quote of the day: “I’ve never bought a Snuggie for someone I respected”
The lady cutting my hair had a mental health crisis mid haircut.
She cut me twice, then cut herself, dropped a bunch of combs and shouted “this is all too much!” Before running off to the back.
She returned 5 min later and said I was all done which… no, I def was not….
She cut me twice, then cut herself, dropped a bunch of combs and shouted “this is all too much!” Before running off to the back.
She returned 5 min later and said I was all done which… no, I def was not….
November 3, 2025 at 2:57 AM
The lady cutting my hair had a mental health crisis mid haircut.
She cut me twice, then cut herself, dropped a bunch of combs and shouted “this is all too much!” Before running off to the back.
She returned 5 min later and said I was all done which… no, I def was not….
She cut me twice, then cut herself, dropped a bunch of combs and shouted “this is all too much!” Before running off to the back.
She returned 5 min later and said I was all done which… no, I def was not….
I think a lot of us have hidden talents that even we ourselves will never know about because the circumstances that would reveal them are extremely unlikely to occur.
Like, for example, I think I’d be super good at making genie wishes without leaving myself open for dark ironic consequences.
Like, for example, I think I’d be super good at making genie wishes without leaving myself open for dark ironic consequences.
November 2, 2025 at 6:05 AM
I think a lot of us have hidden talents that even we ourselves will never know about because the circumstances that would reveal them are extremely unlikely to occur.
Like, for example, I think I’d be super good at making genie wishes without leaving myself open for dark ironic consequences.
Like, for example, I think I’d be super good at making genie wishes without leaving myself open for dark ironic consequences.
Cool: we had at least 2 families walk away from our doorstep like “we remember you guys from last year! Coolest house in town!”
Not cool: so far trick’r treat traffic is way down from last year and I am gettin real worried bc I got like 90 full size candy bars to give away or I WILL eat them all
Not cool: so far trick’r treat traffic is way down from last year and I am gettin real worried bc I got like 90 full size candy bars to give away or I WILL eat them all
November 1, 2025 at 2:18 AM
Cool: we had at least 2 families walk away from our doorstep like “we remember you guys from last year! Coolest house in town!”
Not cool: so far trick’r treat traffic is way down from last year and I am gettin real worried bc I got like 90 full size candy bars to give away or I WILL eat them all
Not cool: so far trick’r treat traffic is way down from last year and I am gettin real worried bc I got like 90 full size candy bars to give away or I WILL eat them all
Treats for kids and parents!
If we are ever unable to be the “full sized bars” house on Halloween, only then, are we truly poor.
If we are ever unable to be the “full sized bars” house on Halloween, only then, are we truly poor.
November 1, 2025 at 1:42 AM
Treats for kids and parents!
If we are ever unable to be the “full sized bars” house on Halloween, only then, are we truly poor.
If we are ever unable to be the “full sized bars” house on Halloween, only then, are we truly poor.
“Hang on babe, gettin a shot of my drink for the gram…”
*send*
My grandma: “yooo, that shit 🔥🔥🔥”
Me: “love you Gram. Keep it 💯”
*send*
My grandma: “yooo, that shit 🔥🔥🔥”
Me: “love you Gram. Keep it 💯”
November 1, 2025 at 1:34 AM
“Hang on babe, gettin a shot of my drink for the gram…”
*send*
My grandma: “yooo, that shit 🔥🔥🔥”
Me: “love you Gram. Keep it 💯”
*send*
My grandma: “yooo, that shit 🔥🔥🔥”
Me: “love you Gram. Keep it 💯”
The FDA has approved my feed to contain no more than 0.2% bangers by volume.
That joke would be a lot funnier if there was still an FDA…
That joke would be a lot funnier if there was still an FDA…
October 30, 2025 at 3:26 PM
The FDA has approved my feed to contain no more than 0.2% bangers by volume.
That joke would be a lot funnier if there was still an FDA…
That joke would be a lot funnier if there was still an FDA…
Haughtily referring to anyone who prefers dildos to vibrators as a “Luddite”
October 30, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Haughtily referring to anyone who prefers dildos to vibrators as a “Luddite”
You could 100% make male birth control popular and widely adopted but it would have to have a fun secondary side effect like making your ejaculate glow in the dark or making your dick do like a slide whistle noise when you cum.
October 30, 2025 at 4:56 AM
You could 100% make male birth control popular and widely adopted but it would have to have a fun secondary side effect like making your ejaculate glow in the dark or making your dick do like a slide whistle noise when you cum.
Yes I’m well aware that sexy singles in my area want to meet me, but they’ll never get me to divulge where I buried the treasure…
October 30, 2025 at 4:08 AM
Yes I’m well aware that sexy singles in my area want to meet me, but they’ll never get me to divulge where I buried the treasure…
Im really good at figuring out when someone is planning a crab feed.
I call it my Old Bay-dar
I call it my Old Bay-dar
October 30, 2025 at 4:00 AM
Im really good at figuring out when someone is planning a crab feed.
I call it my Old Bay-dar
I call it my Old Bay-dar
Movie summary: “after inheriting a costal house, a man accidentally unleashes an ancient and long dormant-“
Me: “stop. You had me at ancient and long dormant.”
Virus
Evil wizard
Rodney Dangerfield
There are literally no ways to end that description that would result in me not watching this movie
Me: “stop. You had me at ancient and long dormant.”
Virus
Evil wizard
Rodney Dangerfield
There are literally no ways to end that description that would result in me not watching this movie
October 30, 2025 at 3:57 AM
Movie summary: “after inheriting a costal house, a man accidentally unleashes an ancient and long dormant-“
Me: “stop. You had me at ancient and long dormant.”
Virus
Evil wizard
Rodney Dangerfield
There are literally no ways to end that description that would result in me not watching this movie
Me: “stop. You had me at ancient and long dormant.”
Virus
Evil wizard
Rodney Dangerfield
There are literally no ways to end that description that would result in me not watching this movie
Trying to be coy about my upcoming travel plans: “well, I don’t want to brag about where we’re going but I WILL tell you their queen just died…”
October 29, 2025 at 2:53 PM
Trying to be coy about my upcoming travel plans: “well, I don’t want to brag about where we’re going but I WILL tell you their queen just died…”
Detectives examining the scene of a grizzly helicopter crash into a crime boss’ penthouse apartment as part of a desperate international man hunt for me:
“…Famous Amos cookie crumbs… our guy was here.”
“…Famous Amos cookie crumbs… our guy was here.”
October 28, 2025 at 12:08 AM
Detectives examining the scene of a grizzly helicopter crash into a crime boss’ penthouse apartment as part of a desperate international man hunt for me:
“…Famous Amos cookie crumbs… our guy was here.”
“…Famous Amos cookie crumbs… our guy was here.”
Client: “my drinking has gotten so bad I can’t even get up to get to the bathroom anymore. I’ve been shitting myself constantly.”
My staff: “I’m so sorry sir. We have a bed for you in our detox right away if you’re ready.”
Client: “well, hold on. Do you guys have like a pool or anything?”
My staff: “I’m so sorry sir. We have a bed for you in our detox right away if you’re ready.”
Client: “well, hold on. Do you guys have like a pool or anything?”
October 28, 2025 at 12:01 AM
Client: “my drinking has gotten so bad I can’t even get up to get to the bathroom anymore. I’ve been shitting myself constantly.”
My staff: “I’m so sorry sir. We have a bed for you in our detox right away if you’re ready.”
Client: “well, hold on. Do you guys have like a pool or anything?”
My staff: “I’m so sorry sir. We have a bed for you in our detox right away if you’re ready.”
Client: “well, hold on. Do you guys have like a pool or anything?”
99% of being a scientist is just doing a little countdown before you do something partially thought out and potentially dangerous.
October 27, 2025 at 5:18 AM
99% of being a scientist is just doing a little countdown before you do something partially thought out and potentially dangerous.
Me: “hey, I don’t mean to be rude but, this gondola ride is kind of gloomy. Can you maybe sing a song or something”
Charon the Ferryman: “…do you have any idea how long I’ve been wishing for someone to ask me that?!”
Charon the Ferryman: “…do you have any idea how long I’ve been wishing for someone to ask me that?!”
October 26, 2025 at 1:27 AM
Me: “hey, I don’t mean to be rude but, this gondola ride is kind of gloomy. Can you maybe sing a song or something”
Charon the Ferryman: “…do you have any idea how long I’ve been wishing for someone to ask me that?!”
Charon the Ferryman: “…do you have any idea how long I’ve been wishing for someone to ask me that?!”
There’s 3 young guys with developmental disabilities that go to this program across the lot from my office and they sometimes go around with buckets & grabbers picking up trash.
Today they were doing that while one of them was playing the John Cena theme on loop and they were straight up STRUTTIN’!
Today they were doing that while one of them was playing the John Cena theme on loop and they were straight up STRUTTIN’!
October 23, 2025 at 7:18 PM
There’s 3 young guys with developmental disabilities that go to this program across the lot from my office and they sometimes go around with buckets & grabbers picking up trash.
Today they were doing that while one of them was playing the John Cena theme on loop and they were straight up STRUTTIN’!
Today they were doing that while one of them was playing the John Cena theme on loop and they were straight up STRUTTIN’!