*passengers sleeping peacefully on a cross country red eye. Suddenly the plane begins to furiously pitch and weave as muffled sounds of a struggle emanate from the cockpit. The radio clicks on and you hear the copilot & stewardess trying to wrestle my headset away from me*

“Ladies and gentlemen…”

Well I had to get the bones out so there’d be room to get my hand in there and do the puppeting…

There are a few other things we need to do to get there too but I’ll get banned (among other, more serious consequences) if I say them out loud…

That safety & peace is far more accessible than capitalism wants us to think it is. Our labor provides enough goods & services to deliver those human rights & dignities to everyone in this country but we need to stop chasing the myth of wealth and reject materialism, status, & fame.

You don’t want a fleet of cars or an ocean destroying yacht or a closet full of bland overpriced clothing & accessories. You want the things they symbolize. You want the momentary illusion that you’re closer to that safety net than you really are because that’s the best you think you’ll ever get.

Ultimately things fall off the rails when the bonds discover all clones are automatically sterile and, emboldened by their built in reason to forgo protection they steal the cloning tech from MI6 and use it to endlessly clone various Bond girls leading to a mutant hybrid monster that kills them all

Bond was a clone. Q has a vat of bond clones under his lab.

In the next movie one of the clones is a bond clone that escaped and bond (the good one) kills Q and absconds with all the other bond clones to defeat bad bond and start his own all-bond spy agency.

There was probably a good 10-20 minutes before they got the news about WBC being snowed in that they had to be like “no we don’t mean the Hilel kids… we’re a COUNTER protest to a regular protest that just hasnt shown up yet... To be clear, we’re not telling Jewish students to go back to Kansas…”

Near as I can tell lol. Funniest part was that a bunch of kids organized a counter protest for a protest that never showed up so there were just a bunch of college students hanging around the Hillel house yard confused & holding signs that said “you’re not in Kansas anymore” and “fuck off fascists”

I went to UC Davis which is an agriculture college. The closest thing to political influence that happened in my time there was Westboro Baptist Church was supposed to come out and do a protest in front of the Jewish fraternity but those idiots got snowed in in Kansas and their flight was canceled

They literally taught us to respond to anyone trying to talk to us about the fossil record or early humans or carbon dating by saying “how do you know? Were you there?”

I found out recently that my parents have been thinking for years that college “radicalized” me and regret letting me go. Lol. Meanwhile they sent me to a Christian K-12 that taught Lammark’s theory of evolution explicitly because it was so goofy and would make kids believe evolutionists were idiots

It went out the way I hope to go one day.

Then you’re going to do the opposite of whatever you’re told, so… I guess DONT call yourself a communist? Unless… wait, no… DO call yourself an anti-communist? No wait… hold on I’m gonna get this. Let me grab some scratch paper real quick…

Shortness enhances certain core qualities the same way drinking does. If you’re a happy person you’re a fun drunk. If you’re miserable, you’re a mean shitty drunk.

Similarly, if you’re fun and cool, being short makes you more awesome.

If you’re a racist prick, being short makes you more pathetic.

New Jersian wearing a wife beater, through a mouth full of sopping wet Italian sub: “whaddaya friggin serious?”

*satan has been shot in the face