Pinned
Tyler
@okty.bsky.social
· Jul 4
Hey. I love all y'all. Seriously. I'm proud of you and the things you've done and are doing and will do. Existing in a hostile world is an act of bravery, and make no mistake: the world is better with you in it.
The main thing I want in life is a giant kitchen, a magic dishwasher, and people I love to cook for.
January 31, 2026 at 11:01 PM
The main thing I want in life is a giant kitchen, a magic dishwasher, and people I love to cook for.
If any of y’all don’t follow me on instagram dot com and want to be a part of my annual Terry Bradshaw Memorial Charity Squares Bonanza my username is oktysure! I will be blasting it out tomorrow!!
January 31, 2026 at 7:26 PM
If any of y’all don’t follow me on instagram dot com and want to be a part of my annual Terry Bradshaw Memorial Charity Squares Bonanza my username is oktysure! I will be blasting it out tomorrow!!
Miami if Carson Beck didn’t throw a backbreaking pick on the final drive
January 31, 2026 at 6:54 PM
Miami if Carson Beck didn’t throw a backbreaking pick on the final drive
Pete slept in my back all night and now my whole body hurts.
January 31, 2026 at 1:39 PM
Pete slept in my back all night and now my whole body hurts.
WHEN DOES THE SNOW START
January 31, 2026 at 6:00 AM
WHEN DOES THE SNOW START
Reposted by Tyler
every epstein commentary is these immensely rich/powerful/influential people raving about what a genius epstein was, and every one of his emails is just “helo, my name jomfrie”
January 31, 2026 at 4:28 AM
every epstein commentary is these immensely rich/powerful/influential people raving about what a genius epstein was, and every one of his emails is just “helo, my name jomfrie”
Istg Al Horford has been in the NBA since the Clinton administration.
January 31, 2026 at 4:45 AM
Istg Al Horford has been in the NBA since the Clinton administration.
He died doing what he loved: trying to be a big dick
Billionaire dies during penis enlargement operation as surgeon gets banned
Ehud Arye Laniado, 65, had a heart attack during the procedure at a high-end clinic in Paris, where he was a frequent visitor and was having injections to make his penis larger at the time of the deat...
www.dailystar.co.uk
January 31, 2026 at 4:39 AM
He died doing what he loved: trying to be a big dick
Y'all are acting like you've never pooped your pants while sitting at the Resolute Desk.
January 31, 2026 at 4:23 AM
Y'all are acting like you've never pooped your pants while sitting at the Resolute Desk.
Somehow my hair has stayed blond-ish even though my beard has an awful lot of white
January 30, 2026 at 11:13 PM
Somehow my hair has stayed blond-ish even though my beard has an awful lot of white
Had a productive work day and got a haircut. I am the most efficient human alive
January 30, 2026 at 11:05 PM
Had a productive work day and got a haircut. I am the most efficient human alive
Does Israel know they can buy the Seahawks instead of tactical vehicles
U.S. STATE DEPARTMENT APPROVES SALES OF JOINT LIGHT TACTICAL VEHICLES TO ISRAEL FOR $1.98 BILLION - PENTAGON .
January 30, 2026 at 10:29 PM
Does Israel know they can buy the Seahawks instead of tactical vehicles
[Me, eight years old, in the backseat of my mom's car]
BUT I'M THE ONLY ONE
WHO'LL WALK ACROSS THE FIRE FOR YOU
AND I'M THE ONLY ONE
WHO'LL DROWN IN MY DESIRE FOR YOU
BUT I'M THE ONLY ONE
WHO'LL WALK ACROSS THE FIRE FOR YOU
AND I'M THE ONLY ONE
WHO'LL DROWN IN MY DESIRE FOR YOU
January 30, 2026 at 10:21 PM
[Me, eight years old, in the backseat of my mom's car]
BUT I'M THE ONLY ONE
WHO'LL WALK ACROSS THE FIRE FOR YOU
AND I'M THE ONLY ONE
WHO'LL DROWN IN MY DESIRE FOR YOU
BUT I'M THE ONLY ONE
WHO'LL WALK ACROSS THE FIRE FOR YOU
AND I'M THE ONLY ONE
WHO'LL DROWN IN MY DESIRE FOR YOU
Banker texted me in a panic because something was going live at midnight and he needed help. "Idk I figured you're the youngest one so I'd text you."
1) it's 11:30
2) omg thank you 🥰🥰 of course I'll help. flattery will get you everywhere with me
1) it's 11:30
2) omg thank you 🥰🥰 of course I'll help. flattery will get you everywhere with me
January 30, 2026 at 5:22 AM
Banker texted me in a panic because something was going live at midnight and he needed help. "Idk I figured you're the youngest one so I'd text you."
1) it's 11:30
2) omg thank you 🥰🥰 of course I'll help. flattery will get you everywhere with me
1) it's 11:30
2) omg thank you 🥰🥰 of course I'll help. flattery will get you everywhere with me
My s1e5 haiku review
He picks up the phone
"I'm coming to the cottage"
[bed squeaking noises]
#HeatedRivalry
#buttsbuttsbutts
He picks up the phone
"I'm coming to the cottage"
[bed squeaking noises]
#HeatedRivalry
#buttsbuttsbutts
My s1e4 haiku review
What is Shane to do
Bread in a bi club sandwich
And his man appears
#buttsbuttsbutts
#HeatedRivalry
What is Shane to do
Bread in a bi club sandwich
And his man appears
#buttsbuttsbutts
#HeatedRivalry
My s1e3 haiku review
Well I can relate
Ready to risk it all for
A cater waiter
#buttsbuttsbutts
#HeatedRivalry
Well I can relate
Ready to risk it all for
A cater waiter
#buttsbuttsbutts
#HeatedRivalry
January 30, 2026 at 2:48 AM
My s1e5 haiku review
He picks up the phone
"I'm coming to the cottage"
[bed squeaking noises]
#HeatedRivalry
#buttsbuttsbutts
He picks up the phone
"I'm coming to the cottage"
[bed squeaking noises]
#HeatedRivalry
#buttsbuttsbutts
Me: Dang Pete. Nice place. Table for one, please!
St. Peter: [exasperated sigh]
St. Peter: [exasperated sigh]
January 30, 2026 at 1:47 AM
Me: Dang Pete. Nice place. Table for one, please!
St. Peter: [exasperated sigh]
St. Peter: [exasperated sigh]
Reposted by Tyler
So! My mom sent me money to distribute to mutual aid. I did already donate $500 to my school district rent fund (what a bleak sentence). Here’s what I’d like to do with the rest:
I want to match your donations (up to a total of $500, the remaining money). You pick, I match.
I want to match your donations (up to a total of $500, the remaining money). You pick, I match.
Stand With Minnesota Donation Directory
Stand With Minnesota is a hub for supporting, learning, and taking action to support Minnesotans impacted by ICE and federal enforcement.
www.standwithminnesota.com
January 29, 2026 at 7:47 PM
So! My mom sent me money to distribute to mutual aid. I did already donate $500 to my school district rent fund (what a bleak sentence). Here’s what I’d like to do with the rest:
I want to match your donations (up to a total of $500, the remaining money). You pick, I match.
I want to match your donations (up to a total of $500, the remaining money). You pick, I match.
Reposted by Tyler
Five jobs I've had:
Bitch
Lover
Child
Mother
Sinner/Saint
Bitch
Lover
Child
Mother
Sinner/Saint
Five jobs I’ve had:
Tinker
Tailor
Soldier
Spy
Der
Tinker
Tailor
Soldier
Spy
Der
Five jobs I’ve had:
Major
Clown
Bagpiper
Ballerina
Tramp
Major
Clown
Bagpiper
Ballerina
Tramp
January 29, 2026 at 5:23 AM
Five jobs I've had:
Bitch
Lover
Child
Mother
Sinner/Saint
Bitch
Lover
Child
Mother
Sinner/Saint
Congrats to the Raiders on finally landing on a head coach
Most media headlines right now are like "We are laying off 2/3 of our staff and also the president is our ombudsman now" but somehow David Brooks got two new jobs in one day
January 29, 2026 at 10:37 PM
Congrats to the Raiders on finally landing on a head coach
If any of y'all are in Miami Beach next week and want an expensed dinner, let me know
January 29, 2026 at 10:15 PM
If any of y'all are in Miami Beach next week and want an expensed dinner, let me know
Chuck Schumer: I don’t think we should be even thinking thoughts that might upset anyone on the other side for fear of alienating anyone
Ilhan “Catch These Ilhands” Omar: fuck off, coward loser
Ilhan “Catch These Ilhands” Omar: fuck off, coward loser
January 29, 2026 at 8:46 PM
Chuck Schumer: I don’t think we should be even thinking thoughts that might upset anyone on the other side for fear of alienating anyone
Ilhan “Catch These Ilhands” Omar: fuck off, coward loser
Ilhan “Catch These Ilhands” Omar: fuck off, coward loser
Five jobs I've had:
Bitch
Lover
Child
Mother
Sinner/Saint
Bitch
Lover
Child
Mother
Sinner/Saint
Five jobs I’ve had:
Tinker
Tailor
Soldier
Spy
Der
Tinker
Tailor
Soldier
Spy
Der
Five jobs I’ve had:
Major
Clown
Bagpiper
Ballerina
Tramp
Major
Clown
Bagpiper
Ballerina
Tramp
January 29, 2026 at 5:23 AM
Five jobs I've had:
Bitch
Lover
Child
Mother
Sinner/Saint
Bitch
Lover
Child
Mother
Sinner/Saint
On a zoom call w bankers today a guy who I've met and thought was easily pushing 50 said he just turned 36. I am doing skincare EXTRA MUCH tonight.
January 29, 2026 at 4:51 AM
On a zoom call w bankers today a guy who I've met and thought was easily pushing 50 said he just turned 36. I am doing skincare EXTRA MUCH tonight.
Thank you, Rick Scott With Side Hair
Tillis says he opposes ICE being barred from wearing masks: "I've seen people dox me. I've seen people take pictures and identify law enforcement officers and then put their families at risk. So, I think that's a step too far."
January 29, 2026 at 2:27 AM
Thank you, Rick Scott With Side Hair