This last 7 days has been horrendous. Cat has an episode for the first time in ages. I sucked at an interview and now our lock has broken right before partner is due to catch a flight.
I think polaroid might just be my saviour. I am worn out and still have a lot on my plate but somehow just mooching around for a few minutes with the SX-70 can invite in delight.
Trying this morning to convince myself that failure is not multi model and I won't suck at garden design and don't already suck at everything else. I know this is true but it's something I have to fight right now.
I'm still super nervous of doing this. But polaroid and anything over 100 does seem to be at some risk of partial damage from my experience so will try and steal myself.
Thank you. I'm afraid not holding myself in great esteem is a bit of a chronic issue for me but I do appreciate very much the kindness I am relieving here 😊
That was brutal but coming around a bit now. I'm sorry everyone. Wasn't quite as prepped as I had thought. Going to do some garden design course stuff and draw some flowers to cheer myself up.
It's just like my old life will not let me leave it behind. I know I'm overreacting but it hurts that difficulties I've had are probably still impacting my future. Looks bleak right now.
Thanks Lea. Right now I just feel a bit on the scrapheap. I know the difficulties I am having are because I have found things difficult re career since I had a breakdown. I'm getting better but the consequences won't let go of me.
I'm constantly amazed at how the mind can give the blackest of spins in something one day and the next a small thing can trigger a boost for everything. Something we need to store sonewhere for when the black moods hit I think.
In all seriousness, I am torn between trially a lightweight LF rig to shoot CT scan proof* paper negs or just taking slow film and my Rollei on a tripod. Will be photographing the moss forests of Yakushima.
*I'm guessing paper is pretty safe since it is very slow but I don't know.
