Paris
@paristhered.bsky.social
Transexual Communist
Fix your hearts or die.
Fix your hearts or die.
A while back I accidentally ruined the song I'm On Fire for myself by listening to Caleb Meyer, by Gillian Welch, immediately after I'm On Fire.
December 27, 2025 at 10:37 PM
A while back I accidentally ruined the song I'm On Fire for myself by listening to Caleb Meyer, by Gillian Welch, immediately after I'm On Fire.
My favourite thing to tell people who don't read a lot of old books is that I have the entirety of chapter 19 of As I Lay Dying, by William Faulkner completely memorized.
December 27, 2025 at 9:56 PM
My favourite thing to tell people who don't read a lot of old books is that I have the entirety of chapter 19 of As I Lay Dying, by William Faulkner completely memorized.
Bigots are so weird. How you gonna be antisemitic and be named David, with a wife named Sarah, or some shit. Antisemites with Semitic names.
December 26, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Bigots are so weird. How you gonna be antisemitic and be named David, with a wife named Sarah, or some shit. Antisemites with Semitic names.
If you got a favourite rendition of Wildwood Flower, let me know who sings it.
December 26, 2025 at 4:14 PM
If you got a favourite rendition of Wildwood Flower, let me know who sings it.
Why did no one tell me that Bad Religion did White Christmas?
December 25, 2025 at 10:02 PM
Why did no one tell me that Bad Religion did White Christmas?
Tragedy:
I'm out of Jolly Ranchers...
I'm out of Jolly Ranchers...
December 25, 2025 at 6:53 PM
Tragedy:
I'm out of Jolly Ranchers...
I'm out of Jolly Ranchers...
How do I explain to this aging cat that I am on spironolactone and there is enough salt on my eggs to destroy his elderly kidneys seven times over? You cannot have my food, old man, it will literally kill you.
December 25, 2025 at 3:16 PM
How do I explain to this aging cat that I am on spironolactone and there is enough salt on my eggs to destroy his elderly kidneys seven times over? You cannot have my food, old man, it will literally kill you.
If you would've asked me, the first time I watched Juno, which of those actors was an egg; I'd have given you the wrong answer.
December 25, 2025 at 12:08 AM
If you would've asked me, the first time I watched Juno, which of those actors was an egg; I'd have given you the wrong answer.
Reposted by Paris
massive attack is misnamed they should really have been called gentle approach thank you I'll be here all week
December 24, 2025 at 3:11 PM
massive attack is misnamed they should really have been called gentle approach thank you I'll be here all week
I haven't been on here much in a while, can we still post titties on this app? Lol.
December 24, 2025 at 3:06 PM
I haven't been on here much in a while, can we still post titties on this app? Lol.
Ass: pounded
Titties: bruised
Anniversary: enjoyed
Titties: bruised
Anniversary: enjoyed
December 22, 2025 at 2:23 AM
Ass: pounded
Titties: bruised
Anniversary: enjoyed
Titties: bruised
Anniversary: enjoyed
Gotta put on my special occasion nipple rings for our anniversary.
December 21, 2025 at 11:51 PM
Gotta put on my special occasion nipple rings for our anniversary.
*gently dabbing at the corner of my eye, because it itches*
"Wait a minute, I'm not wearing makeup, I can rub my eyes."
"Wait a minute, I'm not wearing makeup, I can rub my eyes."
December 21, 2025 at 9:37 PM
*gently dabbing at the corner of my eye, because it itches*
"Wait a minute, I'm not wearing makeup, I can rub my eyes."
"Wait a minute, I'm not wearing makeup, I can rub my eyes."
Why is it that I go a little crazier if I go too long without rough sex?
December 21, 2025 at 9:14 PM
Why is it that I go a little crazier if I go too long without rough sex?
What do you mean, that's not the answer you were looking for?
You asked what my greatest weakness was.
I said grey haired soft butches.
You asked what my greatest weakness was.
I said grey haired soft butches.
December 21, 2025 at 7:05 PM
What do you mean, that's not the answer you were looking for?
You asked what my greatest weakness was.
I said grey haired soft butches.
You asked what my greatest weakness was.
I said grey haired soft butches.
"Flying faster
Through the night,
Until the orange
Of morning light."
Through the night,
Until the orange
Of morning light."
December 21, 2025 at 4:09 PM
"Flying faster
Through the night,
Until the orange
Of morning light."
Through the night,
Until the orange
Of morning light."
"Wake up now, it's over,
Just tell me it's okay to die."
Just tell me it's okay to die."
December 21, 2025 at 3:50 PM
"Wake up now, it's over,
Just tell me it's okay to die."
Just tell me it's okay to die."
Fuck it. I'm listening to the Silence In Black and White today.
December 21, 2025 at 3:47 PM
Fuck it. I'm listening to the Silence In Black and White today.
Evidence that the cats actually like the excessive amount of affection I give them:
They come seek me out when I get depressed and stop harassing them as much.
They come seek me out when I get depressed and stop harassing them as much.
December 21, 2025 at 3:44 PM
Evidence that the cats actually like the excessive amount of affection I give them:
They come seek me out when I get depressed and stop harassing them as much.
They come seek me out when I get depressed and stop harassing them as much.
For some reason, I find Marceline the Vampire Queen the most relatable when she delivers the line, "They got out, because you let them live."
December 21, 2025 at 3:41 PM
For some reason, I find Marceline the Vampire Queen the most relatable when she delivers the line, "They got out, because you let them live."
I cannot willfully dissociate when on a therapeutic dose of amphetamines. Now that I'm properly medicated again, I'm reminded of how many flashbacks I get. They don't last for very long, but fuck...
December 21, 2025 at 3:25 PM
I cannot willfully dissociate when on a therapeutic dose of amphetamines. Now that I'm properly medicated again, I'm reminded of how many flashbacks I get. They don't last for very long, but fuck...
Reposted by Paris
Not now, anxiety.
December 20, 2025 at 7:40 PM
Not now, anxiety.
Observation from personal experience
Waxing your beard hurts worse than a 9mm bullet through the pelvis, but the damage from the bullet lasts a lot longer.
The damage from the shot hurts worse than the shot. I didn't feel the bullet, so technically, everything hurts worse than getting shot.
Waxing your beard hurts worse than a 9mm bullet through the pelvis, but the damage from the bullet lasts a lot longer.
The damage from the shot hurts worse than the shot. I didn't feel the bullet, so technically, everything hurts worse than getting shot.
December 20, 2025 at 7:29 PM
Observation from personal experience
Waxing your beard hurts worse than a 9mm bullet through the pelvis, but the damage from the bullet lasts a lot longer.
The damage from the shot hurts worse than the shot. I didn't feel the bullet, so technically, everything hurts worse than getting shot.
Waxing your beard hurts worse than a 9mm bullet through the pelvis, but the damage from the bullet lasts a lot longer.
The damage from the shot hurts worse than the shot. I didn't feel the bullet, so technically, everything hurts worse than getting shot.
Gotta set realistic goals for the day. I want to paint my nails, and sweep the floor. We'll see how well I do. I'm being a bit ambitious.
December 20, 2025 at 7:11 PM
Gotta set realistic goals for the day. I want to paint my nails, and sweep the floor. We'll see how well I do. I'm being a bit ambitious.