Author | Lightnews

Ivy Burns

Ivy Burns

@parsnips16.bsky.social

74 followers 34 following 74 posts

frot daughter

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Ivy Burns @parsnips16.bsky.social · Apr 7

i don’t owe you femininity ! ! ! i owe you $20 for the eighth you fronted me, and i swear i’ll have it by friday 😵‍💫🤧‼️

Ivy Burns @parsnips16.bsky.social · 22d

my reels algo is 50% motorcycles POV running from the cops and 50% MLP yuri

Ivy Burns @parsnips16.bsky.social · Sep 5

coming home from exhausting 9-5 to also do all the house chores while my wife shows me the beat she made in fl studio

Ivy Burns @parsnips16.bsky.social · Aug 11

hooking up with a drummer on some “am i rushing or dragging?”

Ivy Burns @parsnips16.bsky.social · Jul 31

welcome back, mf doom

🎃 @mahler2.bsky.social · Jul 29

driving in my truck right after a beer hey that bump is shaped like a deer dui? how about you die? i'll go 100 miles an hour little do you know i filled up on gas imma get your fountain-making ass pulverize this fuck with my Bergentrück it seems you're out of luck. truck! beer is on the seat blood i

Reposted by Ivy Burns

baz @whiteboymontreal.bsky.social · Jul 20

your white boyfriend is a bad inefficient engineer

Ivy Burns @parsnips16.bsky.social · Jul 17

i always let the egg come first

Ivy Burns @parsnips16.bsky.social · Jul 3

pleaing “death of the author” when questions about last nights drunk texts

Ivy Burns @parsnips16.bsky.social · Jul 2

flying home to show my middle school bullies what a REAL fag looks like

Ivy Burns @parsnips16.bsky.social · Jun 15

shit too late, just imagine a biblically accurate angel with pasties on all of its eyes

Reposted by Ivy Burns

Dookie Jones 🫡🇵🇸 @isat.bsky.social · Jun 2

Big fan of these types of images

Ivy Burns @parsnips16.bsky.social · May 28

this the type shit i wanna hear jon stewart reading out on the daily show

Ivy Burns @parsnips16.bsky.social · May 28

the difference between your freak and my freak is that i can still cum from kissy missionary

Ivy Burns @parsnips16.bsky.social · May 24

im at ur girls crib doin poppers

Reposted by Ivy Burns

terminatrix @robotess.bsky.social · May 23

robotgirl orgy call that networking

Ivy Burns @parsnips16.bsky.social · May 23

the moment i pay attention to the mariners is the moment they go on a loss streak. schrödingers win%

Ivy Burns @parsnips16.bsky.social · May 22

at least here you can go D1, they’re vocally against that irl

Reposted by Ivy Burns

baz @whiteboymontreal.bsky.social · May 20

white tboy in my hinge likes look like prezoh 🤤

Ivy Burns @parsnips16.bsky.social · May 21

blocking the whole ass intersection doing donuts in front of a waymo

Ivy Burns @parsnips16.bsky.social · May 14

it’s really nice how walmart lets you sleep in their parking lot. i’ll thank them by shoplifting from target :>

Ivy Burns @parsnips16.bsky.social · May 12

*buying carbon credits with the money i made stealing catalytic converters*

Ivy Burns @parsnips16.bsky.social · May 9

i need an evil boy to clicker train me

Ivy Burns @parsnips16.bsky.social · Apr 30

that’s how they want you to feel. stack bodies on the sword til the tip can’t come through

Ivy Burns @parsnips16.bsky.social · Apr 28

i would eat the rice raw for 5 words of affirmation

Ivy Burns @parsnips16.bsky.social · Apr 20

i breathe sawdust. i eat plywood. i gargle with salt water and spit out wood glue. be the wheel. be at peace

Ivy Burns @parsnips16.bsky.social · Apr 15

some days i want to get my eyeliner tattooed. other days i want to drive through iowa without be lynched. it’s give and take i guess