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PaterVoss_PunBard @patervosspunbard.bsky.social · Feb 10

Wizard: they say that sometimes a good defense can become an offense.

Warrior: 🤔 😮 *shifts grip on shield and bashes a zombie over the head.*

Wizard: well. Not exactly what I meant but 🤷‍♀️

#TTRPG #DnD

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PaterVoss_PunBard @patervosspunbard.bsky.social · Jan 28

Bards

Putting the Cha in Charades.

#PunBard #TTRPG #DnD

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Reposted by PaterVoss_PunBard

PaterVoss_PunBard @patervosspunbard.bsky.social · Jan 16

Sorcerer: wow! What a cool tower! 😲

Wizard: thanks! 😁

Sorcerer: its pristine, how do you keep it looking nice?

Wizard: enchanted spit-shine. see those statue fountains?

Sorcer: you mean the gargoyles?

Wizard: close...😎 Gargle-goyles

Sorcerer: 🤦‍♀️

#PunBard #Dadjokes #TTRPG #DnD

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PaterVoss_PunBard @patervosspunbard.bsky.social · Jan 16

Sorcerer: wow! What a cool tower! 😲

Wizard: thanks! 😁

Sorcerer: its pristine, how do you keep it looking nice?

Wizard: enchanted spit-shine. see those statue fountains?

Sorcer: you mean the gargoyles?

Wizard: close...😎 Gargle-goyles

Sorcerer: 🤦‍♀️

#PunBard #Dadjokes #TTRPG #DnD

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PaterVoss_PunBard @patervosspunbard.bsky.social · Jan 16

The fantastic four, but lead by The Thing

"ITS COLLABORATING TIME!"

#PunBard #Dadjokes

PaterVoss_PunBard @patervosspunbard.bsky.social · Jan 14

Wood shop implies the existence of

Couldshop and shouldshop

#PunBard #Dadjokes

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PaterVoss_PunBard @patervosspunbard.bsky.social · Jan 12

Prestidigitation

Aka

Magic Bissel

#PunBard #TTRPG #DnD

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PaterVoss_PunBard @patervosspunbard.bsky.social · Jan 3

Sidequests.

Also known as...

Inter-missions

#TTRPG #PunBard

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Reposted by PaterVoss_PunBard

PaterVoss_PunBard @patervosspunbard.bsky.social · Dec 27

Bard: so how'd things go with that guy?

Rogue: what guy?

Bard: you know, the one I told you to hit on?

Rogue: ooooh haha he'll tell no tales

Bard: ....oh no. Don't tell me you-

Rogue: what? *checks notes* CRAP I WROTE DOWN "PUT A HIT ON!"

Bard: *sigh*

Rogue: OHSHITFUCKCRAP!

#TTRPG #PunBard

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PaterVoss_PunBard @patervosspunbard.bsky.social · Dec 27

Bard: so how'd things go with that guy?

Rogue: what guy?

Bard: you know, the one I told you to hit on?

Rogue: ooooh haha he'll tell no tales

Bard: ....oh no. Don't tell me you-

Rogue: what? *checks notes* CRAP I WROTE DOWN "PUT A HIT ON!"

Bard: *sigh*

Rogue: OHSHITFUCKCRAP!

#TTRPG #PunBard

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PaterVoss_PunBard @patervosspunbard.bsky.social · Dec 21

Solid strategy

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PaterVoss_PunBard @patervosspunbard.bsky.social · Dec 21

Emojis but they're all just different cat tail positions

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PaterVoss_PunBard @patervosspunbard.bsky.social · Dec 20

NPC: *whispers* hey! Pssst!

Adventurer: yes?

NPC: you should leave that party...they threw caution to the wind.

Adventurer: 🤣 sure they did.

Later...

Adventurer: so what happened to your other companion?

Bard: oh. You mean Caw Shaun?

Adventurer: 😬

#TTRPG #PunBard

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PaterVoss_PunBard @patervosspunbard.bsky.social · Dec 20

You hear a clattering on the roof...

And a rasping noise in the chimney.

Time to...

Ho ho hold your Action!

#TTRPG #PunBard

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PaterVoss_PunBard @patervosspunbard.bsky.social · Dec 20

Some dwarves can make their own solid fuel.

On account of their...

Coalon.

#TTRPG #PunBard

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Reposted by PaterVoss_PunBard

🌙Mae [COMMISSIONS OPEN!!] @moonprinces.bsky.social · Dec 19

If anyone is interested in the jewelry I’ve been making my wife is listing them in her shop!

www.etsy.com/shop/Constel...

ConstelloceanCrafts - Etsy

Shop items by ConstelloceanCrafts located in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.

www.etsy.com

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PaterVoss_PunBard @patervosspunbard.bsky.social · Dec 20

Might does not make right.

It's usually just stwrong

#TTRPG #PunBard

PaterVoss_PunBard @patervosspunbard.bsky.social · Dec 20

Skeletal fighters always attack multiple times.

They have bones actions

#TTRPG #PunBard

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PaterVoss_PunBard @patervosspunbard.bsky.social · Dec 20

Beard of Holding

A wizard spell known only to dwarves.

#TTRPG

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PaterVoss_PunBard @patervosspunbard.bsky.social · Dec 20

Yep, especially if one is a soothswearer

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PaterVoss_PunBard @patervosspunbard.bsky.social · Dec 20

Disagreements over prophecy?

I think you mean...

Augur-ments

#TTRPG #PunBard

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PaterVoss_PunBard @patervosspunbard.bsky.social · Dec 20

Hobbits do hold elections.

You see, they are a Wee Public

#TTRPG #PunBard #Lotr

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PaterVoss_PunBard @patervosspunbard.bsky.social · Dec 20

We all know paladins prefer chainmail because its Holey.

But it's also important to know evil paladins prefer plate armor for the opposite reason.

#TTRPG #PunBard

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PaterVoss_PunBard @patervosspunbard.bsky.social · Dec 19

Flattery implies the existence of roundery

#PunBard #Dadjokes

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PaterVoss_PunBard @patervosspunbard.bsky.social · Dec 19

Campaign hook:

A flock of flying musicians are accosting an Area Village, trapping residents inside their buildings.

It's called...

The Bards

#TTRPG #PunBard

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