Steve Patterson
@patterdad.bsky.social
I am dad to two daughters. Husband to one wife. Host to one long-running comedy show called The Debaters. Have jokes. Will travel.
Toronto weather update: It is now possible for male brass monkeys to go outside without experiencing gender change.
February 10, 2026 at 4:46 PM
Toronto weather update: It is now possible for male brass monkeys to go outside without experiencing gender change.
“Stop typing so loud! I’m trying to nap here!”
February 9, 2026 at 4:38 PM
“Stop typing so loud! I’m trying to nap here!”
I was too busy to post this prediction on here yesterday. I’ll take Seattle by 16.
February 9, 2026 at 3:26 PM
I was too busy to post this prediction on here yesterday. I’ll take Seattle by 16.
morning rush hour in Vancouver.
February 5, 2026 at 5:02 PM
morning rush hour in Vancouver.
Dear dog owners,
Your dogs shit doesn’t magically disappear in snowbanks.
Cheers
Your dogs shit doesn’t magically disappear in snowbanks.
Cheers
February 2, 2026 at 2:47 PM
Dear dog owners,
Your dogs shit doesn’t magically disappear in snowbanks.
Cheers
Your dogs shit doesn’t magically disappear in snowbanks.
Cheers
My wife doesn’t want me to be sick so she just baked enough garlic into dinner to knock out a battalion of vampires. Apologies to whomever I am within 200 metres of this week.
February 1, 2026 at 11:51 PM
My wife doesn’t want me to be sick so she just baked enough garlic into dinner to knock out a battalion of vampires. Apologies to whomever I am within 200 metres of this week.
“No I haven’t seen the paper you wrote the grocery list on. Why do you ask?”
January 27, 2026 at 9:35 PM
“No I haven’t seen the paper you wrote the grocery list on. Why do you ask?”
It is freezing outside and the world is on edge. Find joy where you can.
January 24, 2026 at 2:02 PM
It is freezing outside and the world is on edge. Find joy where you can.
I’m just watching the President whose name I shall not mention’s address and I feel for all the fact checkers’ brains out there whom I assume are now overloading….
a man is sitting in a chair looking at a laptop computer .
ALT: a man is sitting in a chair looking at a laptop computer .
media.tenor.com
January 21, 2026 at 3:46 PM
I’m just watching the President whose name I shall not mention’s address and I feel for all the fact checkers’ brains out there whom I assume are now overloading….
Reposted by Steve Patterson
Headed back to the #EDMONTON area. Jan.30 at the @rivercreecasino.bsky.social! Ticket link at brentbutt.com/schedule
January 20, 2026 at 11:10 PM
Headed back to the #EDMONTON area. Jan.30 at the @rivercreecasino.bsky.social! Ticket link at brentbutt.com/schedule
Yes. This is how things falter.
AI boom could falter without wider adoption, Microsoft chief Satya Nadella warns
AI boom could falter without wider adoption, Microsoft chief Satya Nadella warns
Big tech boss tells delegates at Davos that broader global use is essential if technology is to deliver lasting growth
www.irishtimes.com
January 20, 2026 at 4:39 PM
Yes. This is how things falter.
Those living an “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” lifestyle have nothing on a “it’s a cold Monday night, so I’m going to bed at 6:30pm”.
January 19, 2026 at 11:30 PM
Those living an “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” lifestyle have nothing on a “it’s a cold Monday night, so I’m going to bed at 6:30pm”.
I know it’s not the case, but I wish this was the President being suspended…
A Ford worker called out Trump. The president flipped him off. Now, he’s been suspended.
Worker called Trump a ‘pedophile protector’ during tour of Dearborn factory
michiganadvance.com/2026/01/13/a...
Worker called Trump a ‘pedophile protector’ during tour of Dearborn factory
michiganadvance.com/2026/01/13/a...
A Ford worker called out Trump. The president flipped him off. Now, he's been suspended. • Michigan Advance
A union-backed auto worker at Ford Motor Co. was caught on video heckling President Donald Trump as a “pedophile protector” when he visited a Dearborn factory on Tuesday ahead of his address to the De...
michiganadvance.com
January 14, 2026 at 1:13 PM
I know it’s not the case, but I wish this was the President being suspended…
Note to self following first pee tomorrow morning;
Don’t panic. You had beets for lunch yesterday.
Don’t panic. You had beets for lunch yesterday.
January 13, 2026 at 5:49 PM
Note to self following first pee tomorrow morning;
Don’t panic. You had beets for lunch yesterday.
Don’t panic. You had beets for lunch yesterday.
One clear way the “circle of life” works is that all the people who were up late in a hotel being loud after 11pm and keeping a family with young girls awake will be awakened by those young girls running and screaming in the same hallway before 6:00am Joined by their dad.
Sincerely,
The dad.
Sincerely,
The dad.
January 10, 2026 at 1:03 PM
One clear way the “circle of life” works is that all the people who were up late in a hotel being loud after 11pm and keeping a family with young girls awake will be awakened by those young girls running and screaming in the same hallway before 6:00am Joined by their dad.
Sincerely,
The dad.
Sincerely,
The dad.
I love what I do. And I love my family. But it’s no match for how much our dog loves peeing on discarded Christmas trees.
January 6, 2026 at 4:52 PM
I love what I do. And I love my family. But it’s no match for how much our dog loves peeing on discarded Christmas trees.
As far as i’m concerned it’s December 34th, 2025.
January 3, 2026 at 7:46 PM
As far as i’m concerned it’s December 34th, 2025.
Happy New Year everyone! And for those whom have already broken their New Year’s resolution (or will in the next few days) a friendly reminder that Chinese New Year is February 17!
January 1, 2026 at 1:54 PM
Happy New Year everyone! And for those whom have already broken their New Year’s resolution (or will in the next few days) a friendly reminder that Chinese New Year is February 17!
Both our young daughters are currently cleaning up the house so they can have friends over and it occurred to me that our house would be a lot cleaner if we had friends over every day.So
that’s my goal for the new year. #HappyNewYear #cleanthehouse #hsvefriendsover #onemorehashtag
that’s my goal for the new year. #HappyNewYear #cleanthehouse #hsvefriendsover #onemorehashtag
December 31, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Both our young daughters are currently cleaning up the house so they can have friends over and it occurred to me that our house would be a lot cleaner if we had friends over every day.So
that’s my goal for the new year. #HappyNewYear #cleanthehouse #hsvefriendsover #onemorehashtag
that’s my goal for the new year. #HappyNewYear #cleanthehouse #hsvefriendsover #onemorehashtag
Good morning everyone. Only 361 days til Christmas!
December 29, 2025 at 12:53 PM
Good morning everyone. Only 361 days til Christmas!
Good morning everyone. It’s snowing a lot so you should all stay off the roads between Toronto and London (where I am about to drive to)
December 26, 2025 at 2:04 PM
Good morning everyone. It’s snowing a lot so you should all stay off the roads between Toronto and London (where I am about to drive to)
And I heard him proclaim that his pants now felt tight/ I ate too much stuffing. Going to bed now. Good night.
December 26, 2025 at 2:06 AM
And I heard him proclaim that his pants now felt tight/ I ate too much stuffing. Going to bed now. Good night.
Just started cooking a prime rib that will take somewhere between 3-6 hours. Got no other plans today. Goddamn glorious.
December 23, 2025 at 6:10 PM
Just started cooking a prime rib that will take somewhere between 3-6 hours. Got no other plans today. Goddamn glorious.
The Christmas snacking has begun…
December 22, 2025 at 4:52 PM
The Christmas snacking has begun…
These little buggars are running out of ideas…
December 22, 2025 at 1:21 PM
These little buggars are running out of ideas…