Unus sed leo
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Unus sed leo
@peo.bsky.social
· Feb 22
Reposted by Unus sed leo
![[Scene is the entrance cabin to a NATIONAL TRUST PROPERTY AND GARDENS]
1
NATIONAL TRUST EMPLOYEE [inside cabin]:
Hello there
2
[A young family - two parents two kids - have arrived at the front desk].
DAD:
Hi - do you have an activity trail, for the kids?
3
NT EMPLOYEE:
Of course – you’re just in time for the Autumn Gammon Trail!
4
MUM:
That sounds fun, doesn’t it kids?
5
NT EMPLOYEE [handing an activity sheet and pencils to the kids]:
Every autumn, the Reform Trust gammons flock back to the National Trust for the AGM. Just follow the trail round the grounds, and see how many you can spot!
6
NT EMPLOYEE [hearing something in the gardens]:
Listen - that's their call
[Calls emanating from the landscape]:
tut-tut
woke-woke
7
NT EMPLOYEE [showing the family an apparently empty fenced enclosure with some bushes in]:
They are extremely sensitive and fragile...
But you can bring them out of hiding if you put a little sign down mentioning slavery.
8
KIDS [pointing]:
There they are!
[Some little red faced PEOPLE wearing Barbour jackets and gilets emerge cautiously from the bushes. They are creeping towards a TINY SIGN in the middle of the enclosure].
[Little people noises]:
woke-woke
tut-tut
woke-woke
9
[Close-up of the TINY SIGN - we can read that it says]:
Slavery had a bit to do with building this massive house.
[Noises from the little people again as they inspect the tiny sign]:
tut-tut
woke-woke
10
MUM [pointing]:
What's that one doing there?
NT EMPLOYEE:
Oh, that's so sweet…
11
[We see that one of the people is sat on a rock, with a little laptop open on a tree stump, and they are furiously typing away].
NT EMPLOYEE:
I think he's writing a column for the Daily Telegraph…
12
[We see close up to the little person’s screen, it is a word document reading]:
Are National Trust scones secretly WOKE?
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreib7lt736b6rmzinml5s7kxjdaapo2a36xp4d4lssypimx3taqicdm@jpeg)
Reposted by Unus sed leo
Reposted by Unus sed leo
Reposted by Unus sed leo
Reposted by Unus sed leo
Reposted by Unus sed leo
Reposted by Unus sed leo
Reposted by Unus sed leo
Reposted by Unus sed leo
Reposted by Unus sed leo
Reposted by Unus sed leo
Reposted by Unus sed leo
![[Scene is a high school classroom. A teacher is writing on the whiteboard 'ACT 2 SCENE 3'.]
TEACHER:
OK class - open up Macbeth to Act 2 Scene 3...
TEACHER:
So - does anybody have any ideas on Shakespeares meaning behind the character of 'the Porter' in this scene?
[A voice comes from off-scene, behind the teacher's back[.
VOICE:
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
TEACHER [turning round]:
Sorry….. who are you?
[We see a wider scene that shows it is the GHOST OF WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE, hovering over the heads of the startled students]
SHAKESPEARE:
I'm the Ghost of Shakespeare and I've come back to say: this scene means *absolutely nothing*.
The Porter is a funny drunk bloke I lobbed in to cover a costume change!
I mean like, not everything I did was genius OK? Stop giving me the ick.
TEACHER:
So um...what do you suggest we study?
SHAKESPEARE:
The most important text in British culture!
TEACHER:
Which is...?
SHAKESPEARE:
'Bollocks People Say on the Internet.'
TEACHER:
You think we should study... bollocks people say on the internet?
SHAKESPEARE:
Yes.
TEACHER:
But Mr Shakespeare... your Porter scene was a question in a past GCSE paper...
We need to analyse it so the kids don't end up failing their exams...
SHAKESPEARE:
Yes, and I'm just suggesting you should analyse Bollocks People Say on the Internet instead, so they don't end up painting flags on roundabouts.
[Silent pause]
TEACHER:
OK class - open up your phones to X...
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreibtvzkb3yqcbhukrxomiex5bcmtrsgbqu7fgx44upb3fgyewmcxbi@jpeg)
Reposted by Unus sed leo
