Reuben Glaser
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reubenglaser.bsky.social
Reuben Glaser
@reubenglaser.bsky.social
Humorist
I don't like this website and am going to stop using it
September 6, 2025 at 5:13 PM
what do you think Dan Quayle does all day?
September 5, 2025 at 11:34 PM
we don't know which, just whichever one extracts most profit from you
September 5, 2025 at 9:34 PM
I thought it was bad enough that Trump will be sending armed goons to terrorize my city, but now I hear they will be sent from TEXAS? I gotta deal with Texans now? Hat on a hat.
September 4, 2025 at 3:43 PM
Same
September 2, 2025 at 6:57 PM
What is that thing on the front of a Kid's Choice award? Is that a hidden camera? So Big Slime can spy on recipients? This needs to be looked into
August 28, 2025 at 4:01 PM
August 28, 2025 at 3:51 PM
cat rhythms
August 28, 2025 at 11:10 AM
BLOOD ARCHITECTS
August 23, 2025 at 12:21 AM
hello i'm roy dismey hello i'm roy dismey hello i'm roy dismey
August 22, 2025 at 8:21 PM
What’s next? Hot Honey Dubai Chocolate Labubus?!?!?1
August 19, 2025 at 4:40 PM
New first name idea - just pick a color and add "uel" to it.

Brownuel, Greenuel, Reduel, Yellowuel, Orangeuel - there, I just named your future adult male sons for you! You're welcome.
August 15, 2025 at 7:13 PM
Bad news for us Brewers fans. George Webb is already on a plane to the Maldives and he’s never coming back. He can’t afford this and he knows it
August 13, 2025 at 9:24 PM
The Brewers are about to put George Webb fully out of business
August 13, 2025 at 9:01 PM
what are we all even talking about anymore
August 7, 2025 at 5:05 PM
my internal monologue as of late
August 1, 2025 at 10:08 PM
the moose is loose
July 31, 2025 at 10:28 PM
"Ugh, it's the worst out here."

- Me, to myself, less than a second after going outside for the first time today
July 30, 2025 at 9:30 PM
is anybody going to bid on the Larry King owned "Larry King made out of jellybeans" portrait from his estate auction or not
Larry King | 1990s Enormous Wacky Portrait Made Out of Jelly Beans
www.juliensauctions.com
July 30, 2025 at 9:00 PM
this really is a great list, each of these exoplanets are cool as hell
List of coolest exoplanets - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org
July 30, 2025 at 6:29 PM
Sick of this summer, sick of the heat, sick of the corn sweat, it's not even August yet and I want to mainline apples and nutmeg directly into my bloodstream
July 30, 2025 at 3:02 PM
bro this is crazy
July 28, 2025 at 4:50 PM
To celebrate Trump deregulating AI somebody should finally generate a film version of the little screenplay he wrote for Jeffrey Epstein's 50th birthday. Use vocal modulation so it sounds like them, throw in a nice fade in and out and some jazz, VO by Alan Dershowitz, you could win awards with this
July 25, 2025 at 2:53 PM
this right here - this is one of those articles you see that makes you say "I hope nobody shares this!" Can you imagine sharing something like this, about our president? This is just so beneath the level of decorum we are known for.

variety.com/2025/tv/news...
‘South Park’ Launches Website for Naked Trump Parody PSA: ‘His Penis Is Teeny-Tiny, but His Love for Us Is Large’
'South Park' mocked Donald Trump with a parody PSA that depicts the president naked, stumbling through the desert with a 'tiny' penis.
variety.com
July 24, 2025 at 10:35 PM