River
@riversoul.bsky.social
Reposted by River
Reposted by River
Instead of Elf On The Shelf, we are featuring Cthulhu In The Loo. Wash your hands, or face the unspeakable terror of the lord of the lightless abyss.
December 15, 2025 at 10:20 PM
Instead of Elf On The Shelf, we are featuring Cthulhu In The Loo. Wash your hands, or face the unspeakable terror of the lord of the lightless abyss.
I’m admittedly terrible with faces. I thought Michael Rooker and Woody Harrelson were the same guy. These photos really don’t help my case at all.
December 14, 2025 at 9:09 PM
I’m admittedly terrible with faces. I thought Michael Rooker and Woody Harrelson were the same guy. These photos really don’t help my case at all.
Being bisexual and polyamorous is fun because you can match with your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend on a dating app and then panic when she messages you because it wasn’t supposed to go THAT far
December 13, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Being bisexual and polyamorous is fun because you can match with your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend on a dating app and then panic when she messages you because it wasn’t supposed to go THAT far
This is the best thing I’ve ever seen
December 11, 2025 at 1:57 AM
This is the best thing I’ve ever seen
“do it for the plot” i say as i continue to be a menace only to myself
December 10, 2025 at 4:20 PM
“do it for the plot” i say as i continue to be a menace only to myself
Reposted by River
My new song is now streaming everywhere! Santa, if you’re up there, all I’m asking for this year is a lucrative international holiday hit. Sincerely, signed Bradley. PS: like as big or bigger than Mariah Carey’s ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You’ thank you love ya distrokid.com/hyperfollow/...
December 10, 2025 at 3:38 PM
My new song is now streaming everywhere! Santa, if you’re up there, all I’m asking for this year is a lucrative international holiday hit. Sincerely, signed Bradley. PS: like as big or bigger than Mariah Carey’s ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You’ thank you love ya distrokid.com/hyperfollow/...
I own a humidifier with a large reservoir. I think it takes too long to fill. I also own a rubber band and have a sink with the spray-thing. So, naturally, I spent the time it took to fill the reservoir trying to get the rubber band to keep the sprayer on while not falling out of the reservoir.
December 9, 2025 at 2:35 AM
I own a humidifier with a large reservoir. I think it takes too long to fill. I also own a rubber band and have a sink with the spray-thing. So, naturally, I spent the time it took to fill the reservoir trying to get the rubber band to keep the sprayer on while not falling out of the reservoir.
I drew a bath for myself last night and got so high I forgot about it and the tub is still full. And still full of bubbles. I don’t want to drain it - it’s art now
November 23, 2025 at 9:05 PM
I drew a bath for myself last night and got so high I forgot about it and the tub is still full. And still full of bubbles. I don’t want to drain it - it’s art now
really want a bumper sticker that says “if you’re gonna ride my ass this hard, at least get some lube first”
November 17, 2025 at 11:36 PM
really want a bumper sticker that says “if you’re gonna ride my ass this hard, at least get some lube first”
Dating apps wanting me to pay money so I can tell more men that I’m willing to let them say “hello” to me are thirstier than I’ve ever been
November 16, 2025 at 4:02 AM
Dating apps wanting me to pay money so I can tell more men that I’m willing to let them say “hello” to me are thirstier than I’ve ever been
Guess that video game! Difficulty level: based off of River’s description.
Hint 1: “It’s a shooty game.”
Hint 2: “In the streets!”
Hint 3: “Oh I remember the dildo sword.”
Hint 1: “It’s a shooty game.”
Hint 2: “In the streets!”
Hint 3: “Oh I remember the dildo sword.”
October 27, 2025 at 11:10 PM
Guess that video game! Difficulty level: based off of River’s description.
Hint 1: “It’s a shooty game.”
Hint 2: “In the streets!”
Hint 3: “Oh I remember the dildo sword.”
Hint 1: “It’s a shooty game.”
Hint 2: “In the streets!”
Hint 3: “Oh I remember the dildo sword.”
have you ever been thirty something and broke
cant fill your tank broke
make a meal of tomato sauce broke
cant buy your kid sister a Christmas present broke
cant fill your tank broke
make a meal of tomato sauce broke
cant buy your kid sister a Christmas present broke
October 10, 2025 at 9:35 AM
have you ever been thirty something and broke
cant fill your tank broke
make a meal of tomato sauce broke
cant buy your kid sister a Christmas present broke
cant fill your tank broke
make a meal of tomato sauce broke
cant buy your kid sister a Christmas present broke
Nothing quite like “I want a cookie” and then opening the various doors to your lesser evolved self deciding “nOoo cOOkiEe, OnNLy heALthH.”
August 13, 2025 at 6:28 AM
Nothing quite like “I want a cookie” and then opening the various doors to your lesser evolved self deciding “nOoo cOOkiEe, OnNLy heALthH.”
Reposted by River
‘Seek Funding’ Step Added To Scientific Method
‘Seek Funding’ Step Added To Scientific Method
PARIS—In an effort to modernize the principles and empirical procedures of examining phenomena and advancing humanity’s collective knowledge, the International Council for Science announced Thursday t...
theonion.com
August 5, 2025 at 3:15 PM
‘Seek Funding’ Step Added To Scientific Method
“Do you know how stupid it is to try to drive with a fcking cowboy hat on?”
August 5, 2025 at 2:58 AM
“Do you know how stupid it is to try to drive with a fcking cowboy hat on?”
“I think I’m addicted to jumping off rocks now.”
August 4, 2025 at 3:19 PM
“I think I’m addicted to jumping off rocks now.”
“This WOULD be a good place to make meth.”
August 3, 2025 at 9:56 PM
“This WOULD be a good place to make meth.”
I fcking knew it
New Study Finds Human Beings Were Never Meant To Wake Up From Sleep
theonion.com/new-stu...
theonion.com/new-stu...
April 3, 2025 at 6:01 AM
I fcking knew it
going into this hangover thinking “I have felt worse before, and I will feel worse later”
namaste
namaste
January 26, 2025 at 11:31 AM
going into this hangover thinking “I have felt worse before, and I will feel worse later”
namaste
namaste
Not to be too Adele, but sometimes it lasts in love, and sometimes, it hurts instead.
September 12, 2024 at 7:22 AM
Not to be too Adele, but sometimes it lasts in love, and sometimes, it hurts instead.
You’re bisexual? You need a third?
Yeah.
Water?
Yeah, probably.
Yeah.
Water?
Yeah, probably.
August 24, 2024 at 3:11 AM
You’re bisexual? You need a third?
Yeah.
Water?
Yeah, probably.
Yeah.
Water?
Yeah, probably.
It’s my birthday!
a pikachu holding a party hat next to a togey
ALT: a pikachu holding a party hat next to a togey
media.tenor.com
August 20, 2024 at 6:48 PM
It’s my birthday!
my mom just wished me a happy birthday using my chosen name 😭 I don’t think I could ask for more today
August 20, 2024 at 3:13 PM
my mom just wished me a happy birthday using my chosen name 😭 I don’t think I could ask for more today
hi I’m not sure what my ~brand~ would be but I suspect it’s something like if these images were printed on recycled cardboard and used as disposable coasters in a bar with too many specialty cocktails
August 19, 2024 at 7:20 PM
hi I’m not sure what my ~brand~ would be but I suspect it’s something like if these images were printed on recycled cardboard and used as disposable coasters in a bar with too many specialty cocktails