LightNews
rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Minor league b3tan bloke
@rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
280 followers 180 following 7.2K posts
Brain farter. Weirdo. Gadgeteer and inventor of nonsense.
Posts Media Videos Starter Packs
Pinned
rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Minor league b3tan bloke @rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social · May 11
I advise anyone who gets upset at the things I say or do online to read this scholarly article.
3 3 7
rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Minor league b3tan bloke @rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social · 2h
Unsolicited Dixie Chicks Pics
2
rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Minor league b3tan bloke @rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social · 2h
That’s a 70s soft core porn mag.
rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Minor league b3tan bloke @rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social · 8h
When your cheap toilet paper can’t handle the action.
4
rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Minor league b3tan bloke @rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social · 8h
It’s a supermarket brand of coffee, how exactly are you listening to it? 🤨
1
rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Minor league b3tan bloke @rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social · 12h
As I dress in the dark and the socks are unpaired it’s random luck if I get the same colour. I count it as success if I have two from the same *set* e.g. Left foor Friday, Right Monday or Lefty Thor, Righty Hulk, but there’s the added variability of ‘are they also the same way out’.
rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Minor league b3tan bloke @rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social · 13h
Is it busy where you are?
1
rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Minor league b3tan bloke @rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social · 14h
Solicited dick pick.
2
rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Minor league b3tan bloke @rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social · 14h
That does need some phat beats laid down to.
rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Minor league b3tan bloke @rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social · 14h
Japanese regs: if you don’t own a parking spot (rare in cities and impossible in Tokyo) your cars can only be 3.5m long and 1.5m wide and have a bike engine no bigger than 660cc. Japan car makers: let’s turbo our 659cc 3.49m x 1.49m car up. Regs: no more than 64bhp! Car makers: 63.9bhp it is.
1
rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Minor league b3tan bloke @rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social · 14h
(Yes, I am bragging).
1
rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Minor league b3tan bloke @rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social · 15h
I bet they reckon the National Trust put V-ger in space to seek out The Creator as well.
1
rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Minor league b3tan bloke @rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social · 15h
There are still places to buy flick knife combs and flick knife knives though. Just like those kids used to bring back from school trips with those highly illegal bangers. But I clearly recall being shown an Ace of Clubs with a (pink) Grotbags being skewered and I’m sad I can’t recapture my youth.
1 2
rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Minor league b3tan bloke @rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social · 15h
In some respects you have to admire when a country cleans up its act and wants to put the past behind it but I was a bit nostalgia-frustrated that the playing cards on sale in souvenir shops in Greece are no longer full fat XXX rated hairy porn but the strongest on sale are paintings from clay pots.
1 2
rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Minor league b3tan bloke @rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social · 15h
“It”, but he’s just sulking because he didn’t get the job at McDonalds.
bookiesnacksize.bsky.social
The Boobadook @bookiesnacksize.bsky.social · 16h
The Thing, but it just wanted to be a dog, because he was the goodest boy
zombiekudos.bsky.social
ZombieSteven @zombiekudos.bsky.social · 22h
Nightmare on Elm Street but Freddie Kruger just wants to get a decent night's sleep...
4
rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Minor league b3tan bloke @rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social · 15h
But what if they’re from 4chan and ThEy TyPe LiKe ThIs PeRmAnEnTlY?
2
rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Minor league b3tan bloke @rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social · 15h
My email address is ALL CAPS because I SHOUT IT DOWN THE PHONE.
1
rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Minor league b3tan bloke @rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social · 15h
Still I’m glad to see they wrapped him in cling film like an 1970s work canteen egg salad sandwich.
1 3
rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Minor league b3tan bloke @rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social · 15h
I’m not sure quite where she was coming from with that hat.
1
rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Minor league b3tan bloke @rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social · 15h
When you have a cold you can try and sneak in ‘Dorridge’ as well (it’s a suburb of Solihull).
2
rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Minor league b3tan bloke @rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social · 16h
Unimaginative people: ‘Nothing rhymes with orange’
Me: “I binged on a syringe while I singed my wife’s tinged minge fringe”
My wife (who did not hear the first part’ : ‘The **** you will’.
2 4
rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Minor league b3tan bloke @rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social · 20h
Ooh fug my addled memories.
rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Minor league b3tan bloke @rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social · 1d
A goldfish swims into a bar. The barman ask him ‘Hey, buddy. Why the long faece?’
rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Minor league b3tan bloke @rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social · 1d
If David Beckham is known as Golden Balls, would that make Nostradamus ‘Crystal Balls’?
rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Minor league b3tan bloke @rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social · 1d
Oh I dunno, Aunt Flo’s theme tune from Bod and the Cagney and Lacey theme were strong contenders for me.
1 1
rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Minor league b3tan bloke @rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social · 1d
Anne of Denmark. The inspiration for those dollies that hid a bog roll under their skirts.
1