so tired of meticulously planning 5 different possible convos before entering a small talk situation

for once I’d love to just wing it, just pick up my kid after martial arts class & say whatever comes to mind in the moment

but I know what’ll happen.
the other moms have me walking on eggshells

so tired of apologizing for ‘getting it wrong’ in social situations and ‘overthinking’ the outcome

my whole life I’ve playing the game blindfolded & without the same rulebook as everyone else

me: fuck I totally forgot to text that friend back, I’m such a loser

also me: they didnt text me back, it’s probably bc they hate me? probably everyone hates, and why wouldn’t they I’m a loser

classic rock hit Summer of ‘69 is full of double entendre and I just realized that TODAY!!!!!!!

I’m the absolute last human on earth to receive this memo aren’t I?

yes I think it’s cruel to label a person with “rejection sensitivity” when they’ve endured heaps of state-sanctioned abuse & neglect* and now get sad each time it happens anew.

friends, that’s peak victim blaming

(*I’m looking at you, ABA & all your spinoff cultural norms 🤨)

“Earlier u said u weren’t upset but I just wanted to make sure, are u sure? You’re not mad?” is absolutely a great conversation opener don’t let some insensitive snob tell you otherwise

knock knock

who’s there

Erin

Erin who

Air in your lungs & out again for a count of 8 will help you feel better so let’s take some deep breaths together bestie. You’re gonna be ok. I promise ❤️❤️❤️❤️

my agenda for today*:

1) inadvertently annoy someone, mildly

2) ask “are you mad at me” and don’t accept no for an answer

3) until they level up to “actually, yeah i AM mad at you”

*repeat daily until death

yeahyeahyeah suicide prevention month ended a few days ago but ya know what? you still matter ❤️

#youmatter
#pleasestay
#suicideprevention
#RSD
#RSDivalovesyou

on the bright side view from the depths is sometimes lit

#depression
#RSD
#howlowcanyougo
#perspective