Selena Maranjian
@selenamaranjian.bsky.social
Woman worrier, over-judger, catastrophist, cautiously optimistic, order Muppet. Love books, great TV, wooden jigsaw puzzles, and modern board games. Longtime (contract) writer for The Motley Fool. Sharing some humor to help us deal with stress. She/her.
Pinned
Like #funny things, left-leaning #politics, #photography, #maps, #books, #boardgames, #TV, mammatus #clouds, #investing, #business, #nature, #art, #miscellany, #stocks, #quotes, Oxford commas, and #quirky stuff? Follow me. #FF (If you have like-minded followers, reshare? Thanks!)
"Don't ask your girl where she wants to eat. Instead, tell her to guess where you're taking her to eat. Then take her to the first guess."
[Pretty good LifeProTip via reddit.]
#lifehack #protip #goodadvice #dating #marriage #restaurant
[Pretty good LifeProTip via reddit.]
#lifehack #protip #goodadvice #dating #marriage #restaurant
December 4, 2025 at 4:48 PM
"Don't ask your girl where she wants to eat. Instead, tell her to guess where you're taking her to eat. Then take her to the first guess."
[Pretty good LifeProTip via reddit.]
#lifehack #protip #goodadvice #dating #marriage #restaurant
[Pretty good LifeProTip via reddit.]
#lifehack #protip #goodadvice #dating #marriage #restaurant
December 4, 2025 at 4:43 PM
December 4, 2025 at 4:42 PM
Reposted by Selena Maranjian
Like #funny things, left-leaning #politics, #photography, #maps, #books, #boardgames, #TV, mammatus #clouds, #investing, #business, #nature, #art, #miscellany, #stocks, #quotes, Oxford commas, and #quirky stuff? Follow me. #FF (If you have like-minded followers, reshare? Thanks!)
November 14, 2024 at 8:08 PM
Like #funny things, left-leaning #politics, #photography, #maps, #books, #boardgames, #TV, mammatus #clouds, #investing, #business, #nature, #art, #miscellany, #stocks, #quotes, Oxford commas, and #quirky stuff? Follow me. #FF (If you have like-minded followers, reshare? Thanks!)
December 3, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Clever posts of yore:
@Rollinintheseat
Who called it an allergist and not an antisneeziologist?
@wildething
In the middle ages, anyone who kept their email inbox empty was burnt as a witch.
@johndonoghue
According to my chocolate advent calendar, it’s already December 12.
#allergy #witch
@Rollinintheseat
Who called it an allergist and not an antisneeziologist?
@wildething
In the middle ages, anyone who kept their email inbox empty was burnt as a witch.
@johndonoghue
According to my chocolate advent calendar, it’s already December 12.
#allergy #witch
December 3, 2025 at 4:30 PM
Clever posts of yore:
@CIAspygirl
Just returned from vacation. I realized that 60% of international travel is exploring a new culture & 40% is apologizing for Trump.
@JustinWolfers
Where does a mansplainer go to get a drink when he's thirsty?
...from a well, actually.
#mansplaining #travel
@CIAspygirl
Just returned from vacation. I realized that 60% of international travel is exploring a new culture & 40% is apologizing for Trump.
@JustinWolfers
Where does a mansplainer go to get a drink when he's thirsty?
...from a well, actually.
#mansplaining #travel
December 3, 2025 at 4:30 PM
Clever posts of yore:
@CIAspygirl
Just returned from vacation. I realized that 60% of international travel is exploring a new culture & 40% is apologizing for Trump.
@JustinWolfers
Where does a mansplainer go to get a drink when he's thirsty?
...from a well, actually.
#mansplaining #travel
@CIAspygirl
Just returned from vacation. I realized that 60% of international travel is exploring a new culture & 40% is apologizing for Trump.
@JustinWolfers
Where does a mansplainer go to get a drink when he's thirsty?
...from a well, actually.
#mansplaining #travel
Clever posts of yore:
@mayamanion
My ex husband texted me that is still in love with me. That’s like winning the lottery but it’s in Confederate Bonds.
@tweetcomedian
How many people have to die before we get serious about finding a cure for natural causes?
#marriage #love #death
@mayamanion
My ex husband texted me that is still in love with me. That’s like winning the lottery but it’s in Confederate Bonds.
@tweetcomedian
How many people have to die before we get serious about finding a cure for natural causes?
#marriage #love #death
December 3, 2025 at 4:29 PM
Clever posts of yore:
@dabertime
My wife never swears.
She has never seen a Cybertruck.
Today, both of these things changed at the same time.
@WilliamAder
Salesman: What's it going to take to put you on this Peloton?
Me: Photoshop.
#haha #funny #cybertruck #peloton
@dabertime
My wife never swears.
She has never seen a Cybertruck.
Today, both of these things changed at the same time.
@WilliamAder
Salesman: What's it going to take to put you on this Peloton?
Me: Photoshop.
#haha #funny #cybertruck #peloton
December 3, 2025 at 4:29 PM
Clever posts of yore:
@dabertime
My wife never swears.
She has never seen a Cybertruck.
Today, both of these things changed at the same time.
@WilliamAder
Salesman: What's it going to take to put you on this Peloton?
Me: Photoshop.
#haha #funny #cybertruck #peloton
@dabertime
My wife never swears.
She has never seen a Cybertruck.
Today, both of these things changed at the same time.
@WilliamAder
Salesman: What's it going to take to put you on this Peloton?
Me: Photoshop.
#haha #funny #cybertruck #peloton
December 2, 2025 at 8:23 PM
Clever posts of yore:
@KarenKilgariff
the new 2 party system: sociopaths vs. people who give a shit about their fellow human beings
@DrAndrewThaler
Folks, I think we need to start coming to terms with the idea that the rapture happened and only David Bowie and Prince made the cut
#sociopath #ugh
@KarenKilgariff
the new 2 party system: sociopaths vs. people who give a shit about their fellow human beings
@DrAndrewThaler
Folks, I think we need to start coming to terms with the idea that the rapture happened and only David Bowie and Prince made the cut
#sociopath #ugh
December 2, 2025 at 4:28 PM
Clever posts of yore:
@KarenKilgariff
the new 2 party system: sociopaths vs. people who give a shit about their fellow human beings
@DrAndrewThaler
Folks, I think we need to start coming to terms with the idea that the rapture happened and only David Bowie and Prince made the cut
#sociopath #ugh
@KarenKilgariff
the new 2 party system: sociopaths vs. people who give a shit about their fellow human beings
@DrAndrewThaler
Folks, I think we need to start coming to terms with the idea that the rapture happened and only David Bowie and Prince made the cut
#sociopath #ugh
Clever posts of yore:
@SkinnerSteven
The living can't communicate with the #dead, that's just séance fiction
@tigersgoroooar
gonorrhea would’ve been a good name for a diarrhea medicine.
@moose_chocolate
I don't understand why they called it " #WebMD " when they could have called it Sickipedia".
@SkinnerSteven
The living can't communicate with the #dead, that's just séance fiction
@tigersgoroooar
gonorrhea would’ve been a good name for a diarrhea medicine.
@moose_chocolate
I don't understand why they called it " #WebMD " when they could have called it Sickipedia".
December 2, 2025 at 4:27 PM
RT:
@brznt
if you have butterflies in yr stomach you should call a gastroentomologist
@TheAlexNevil
Wolf: None of this fits. Saleswoman: This is the sheep’s clothing department. You want Wolves, second floor.
@maisonwithapen
[at Dunkin Donuts]
excuse me are these donuts locally dunked?
#science
@brznt
if you have butterflies in yr stomach you should call a gastroentomologist
@TheAlexNevil
Wolf: None of this fits. Saleswoman: This is the sheep’s clothing department. You want Wolves, second floor.
@maisonwithapen
[at Dunkin Donuts]
excuse me are these donuts locally dunked?
#science
December 2, 2025 at 4:26 PM
RT:
@brznt
if you have butterflies in yr stomach you should call a gastroentomologist
@TheAlexNevil
Wolf: None of this fits. Saleswoman: This is the sheep’s clothing department. You want Wolves, second floor.
@maisonwithapen
[at Dunkin Donuts]
excuse me are these donuts locally dunked?
#science
@brznt
if you have butterflies in yr stomach you should call a gastroentomologist
@TheAlexNevil
Wolf: None of this fits. Saleswoman: This is the sheep’s clothing department. You want Wolves, second floor.
@maisonwithapen
[at Dunkin Donuts]
excuse me are these donuts locally dunked?
#science
Clever posts of yore:
@clemwin
I eat my feelings all the time. They taste like sarcasm, melancholy and Nutella.
@HatfieldAnne
How this will go down: We will both take rolls. I will eat my roll. Then you will slide your roll WITHOUT FANFARE onto my plate.
#funny #feelings #emotion
@clemwin
I eat my feelings all the time. They taste like sarcasm, melancholy and Nutella.
@HatfieldAnne
How this will go down: We will both take rolls. I will eat my roll. Then you will slide your roll WITHOUT FANFARE onto my plate.
#funny #feelings #emotion
December 2, 2025 at 4:25 PM
RT:
@viktorwinetrout:
Alexa, vanquish my foes
@nahyoudoit.bsky.social
Welcome to December.
The world is still a dumpster fire but, like, a festive one
@thealexnevil.bsky.social
Most of the time I have no idea what I’m doing. The rest of the time I’m at urgent care
@viktorwinetrout:
Alexa, vanquish my foes
@nahyoudoit.bsky.social
Welcome to December.
The world is still a dumpster fire but, like, a festive one
@thealexnevil.bsky.social
Most of the time I have no idea what I’m doing. The rest of the time I’m at urgent care
December 2, 2025 at 4:24 PM
RT:
@viktorwinetrout:
Alexa, vanquish my foes
@nahyoudoit.bsky.social
Welcome to December.
The world is still a dumpster fire but, like, a festive one
@thealexnevil.bsky.social
Most of the time I have no idea what I’m doing. The rest of the time I’m at urgent care
@viktorwinetrout:
Alexa, vanquish my foes
@nahyoudoit.bsky.social
Welcome to December.
The world is still a dumpster fire but, like, a festive one
@thealexnevil.bsky.social
Most of the time I have no idea what I’m doing. The rest of the time I’m at urgent care
December 1, 2025 at 4:51 PM
Clever posts of yore:
@funnybison
EXORCIST: You house is haunted
REALTOR: It’s multi-generational!
@duchessgoldblat
Someone bring me a small plate of fanciful cookies and the memory of all the world being open to possibilities.
#househunting #cookies #optimism
@funnybison
EXORCIST: You house is haunted
REALTOR: It’s multi-generational!
@duchessgoldblat
Someone bring me a small plate of fanciful cookies and the memory of all the world being open to possibilities.
#househunting #cookies #optimism
December 1, 2025 at 2:28 PM
Clever posts of yore:
@funnybison
EXORCIST: You house is haunted
REALTOR: It’s multi-generational!
@duchessgoldblat
Someone bring me a small plate of fanciful cookies and the memory of all the world being open to possibilities.
#househunting #cookies #optimism
@funnybison
EXORCIST: You house is haunted
REALTOR: It’s multi-generational!
@duchessgoldblat
Someone bring me a small plate of fanciful cookies and the memory of all the world being open to possibilities.
#househunting #cookies #optimism
Clever posts of yore:
@theneurodivergentnurse
I can be my own secret Santa with Ambien and Amazon Prime
@tgilliland789
Schrodinger has a banana in his pocket AND is happy to see you
@CrankyPappy
Thoreau wrote:
"Simplify, simplify, simplify!"
What he should have written:
"Simplify!"
#secretsanta
@theneurodivergentnurse
I can be my own secret Santa with Ambien and Amazon Prime
@tgilliland789
Schrodinger has a banana in his pocket AND is happy to see you
@CrankyPappy
Thoreau wrote:
"Simplify, simplify, simplify!"
What he should have written:
"Simplify!"
#secretsanta
December 1, 2025 at 2:27 PM
Clever posts of yore:
@theneurodivergentnurse
I can be my own secret Santa with Ambien and Amazon Prime
@tgilliland789
Schrodinger has a banana in his pocket AND is happy to see you
@CrankyPappy
Thoreau wrote:
"Simplify, simplify, simplify!"
What he should have written:
"Simplify!"
#secretsanta
@theneurodivergentnurse
I can be my own secret Santa with Ambien and Amazon Prime
@tgilliland789
Schrodinger has a banana in his pocket AND is happy to see you
@CrankyPappy
Thoreau wrote:
"Simplify, simplify, simplify!"
What he should have written:
"Simplify!"
#secretsanta
Clever posts of yore:
@Timhamilton47
There are 9,165 CVS locations in the United States. That means that, as a company, CVS employs 9,165 people.
@IAmKatieOrr
Fun fact: if you sit in front of me at the movies you leave with your hair braided.
@Timhamilton47
There are 9,165 CVS locations in the United States. That means that, as a company, CVS employs 9,165 people.
@IAmKatieOrr
Fun fact: if you sit in front of me at the movies you leave with your hair braided.
December 1, 2025 at 2:27 PM
Clever posts of yore:
@Timhamilton47
There are 9,165 CVS locations in the United States. That means that, as a company, CVS employs 9,165 people.
@IAmKatieOrr
Fun fact: if you sit in front of me at the movies you leave with your hair braided.
@Timhamilton47
There are 9,165 CVS locations in the United States. That means that, as a company, CVS employs 9,165 people.
@IAmKatieOrr
Fun fact: if you sit in front of me at the movies you leave with your hair braided.
Clever posts of yore:
@heatinblack
If I were a soup magnate, I'd be a boullionaire
@marlebean
My oatmilk shake brings all the vegans to the yard, and they're like... 'where's your compost?'
@sannewman
What do we want?
Non sequiturs!
When do we want them?
Seals are mammals!
#soup #vegan #funny
@heatinblack
If I were a soup magnate, I'd be a boullionaire
@marlebean
My oatmilk shake brings all the vegans to the yard, and they're like... 'where's your compost?'
@sannewman
What do we want?
Non sequiturs!
When do we want them?
Seals are mammals!
#soup #vegan #funny
December 1, 2025 at 2:26 PM
November 29, 2025 at 9:12 PM
November 29, 2025 at 9:08 PM