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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author

@sensorystories.bsky.social

12K followers 16 following 3.2K posts

Advocating through science based education, validation, and empathy Nicolefilipponeauthor.com/my-links

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · May 7

If you recently discovered you might be autistic or you're a parent who recently discovered your kiddo might be autistic & you're looking to learn about autism through science and lived experience...

Hi... I'm Nicole! 👋🏻

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 6h

What makes autism a disability is that we (autistic people) need support to get our human needs met.

And that our needs go unmet more quickly and more frequently than the average nonautistic person.

I hope this helps. 🙂

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 6h

Which impacts us in significant ways and often impedes our ability to do important life activities without support.

Hence why autism is considered a disability.

BUT autistic needs... human needs... are not what make autism a disability.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 6h

So our dysregulation shows up more quickly and more frequently than it does for nonautistic people.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 6h

And based on everything I know about autism through psychology, neuroscience, and lived experience, I think the only difference between us and everyone else is that we have different thresholds of tolerance for when our needs go unmet.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 6h

So people are made to think our coping behaviors ARE our autism when really, they're just how our autism MANIFESTS when our needs go unmet.

This is why I believe all autistic behaviors (especially the ones they put into the diagnostic criteria) are manifestations of unmet human needs.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 6h

And what happens next?

What we do to regulate ourselves (whatever behaviors we demonstrate to self soothe or cope) becomes what they see and call autism... which then goes into diagnostic manuals like the DSM.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 6h

Because our behaviors seem mismatched to the situation.

Why? Because no one around us has reached their tolerance threshold yet.

So they think we're overreacting when they see us dysregulated and distressed.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 6h

All humans experience sensory overload if there's enough sensory overstimulation.

But autistic people reach their threshold of tolerance way sooner than the average nonautistic person.

And this stands out when it happens to autistic people for a very specific reason...

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 6h

We don't have different needs from the rest of the world.

What we do have is different tolerance levels and thresholds for when our needs go unmet (this is backed by both psychology and neuroscience).

The simplest example of this is sensory overload...

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 6h

So what exactly are autistic needs?

This is probably the most confusing aspect of autism.

I think the reason this confuses so many people (even autistic people) is that autistic needs are literally just human needs.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 1d

I hope you find comfort in this space.

And I will continue doing everything I can to make you feel safe and seen here. ❤️

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 1d

And if you're autistic and feel misinterpreted by the DSM criteria and all the rhetoric that makes you the problem and you the person who needs fixing... I see you.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 1d

Because, in my opinion, that's how we hold space for brain wiring differences with the care and respect every human being deserves.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 1d

People can choose to hold onto their opinions.

But unless I am met with concrete evidence that counters mine, I will continue to believe that autistic behaviors, all of them, have underlying reasons. Logical ones. Human ones.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 1d

And no one can stop me from having this opinion. Or from sharing it. Even if they don't like it. Which, many clearly don't.

And that's ok.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 1d

Of course, I can't prove this to be true. Not universally. Not scientifically. But I can certainly assert this from a philosophical and psychological standpoint.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 1d

I think every observable behavior has an underlying reason that's tied to an unmet brain wiring need.

Every. Single. One.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 1d

Because any time I mention underlying reasons for an autistic behavior you can see (like "rigidity") I'm met with people telling me that not every autistic behavior has an underlying reason. Even autistic people say this.

And I simply don't agree.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 1d

I'm starting to realize that most people don't know what autistic needs are.

In fact, a lot of people seem to think that autism is just the criteria and nothing more. That what you see is what you get. (Even many autistic people seem to think this.)

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 3d

Not the person flattening the conversation and refusing to see the nuance.

It's us... the autistic ones... often being called rigid. 😬🤦‍♀️

Isn't it ironic... don't you think?

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 3d

Not because we are rigid, but because we are unwilling to accept a flattened version of a highly nuanced topic.

And guess who ends up looking like the rigid one in this scenario?

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 3d

But when we are talking to someone who is refusing to acknowledge the nuance we see as critical to the conversation... this often results in us pushing back pretty hard.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 3d

And, interestingly, this is actually what makes cognitive flexibility possible... the sheer amount of information and nuance actively held in our brains at any given time. Because we see more of the picture than most other people can.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 3d

One thing that has repeatedly shown up in research is autistic people having a unique ability to hold so much information and nuance in our minds, that it slows down our processing speed... a lot.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 3d

Now, let's talk about cognitive flexibility in autistic people.

Because this is far more common than most people realize... but, frustratingly for many of us, it is often mistaken for rigidity.

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