Richard Kachenbals
@sevenashenspires.bsky.social
something wicked this way busts
make my tombstone a giant pez dispenser that dispenses pez-shaped marble slabs that have the epitaph on them. they’re like little souvenirs.
October 29, 2025 at 8:47 AM
make my tombstone a giant pez dispenser that dispenses pez-shaped marble slabs that have the epitaph on them. they’re like little souvenirs.
Reposted by Richard Kachenbals
ARBY'S CASHIER: Yo! You look old and weak. What's good
OLD MAN: I wanna big heap shit. Same going out as coming in.
CASHIER: One order hog fattener grade arby's roof rabbit, is that gonna be big boy or bitch boy
OLD MAN: Big boy. Cook it to leather too
CASHIER: We don't cook it any other way brother
OLD MAN: I wanna big heap shit. Same going out as coming in.
CASHIER: One order hog fattener grade arby's roof rabbit, is that gonna be big boy or bitch boy
OLD MAN: Big boy. Cook it to leather too
CASHIER: We don't cook it any other way brother
October 26, 2025 at 7:38 PM
ARBY'S CASHIER: Yo! You look old and weak. What's good
OLD MAN: I wanna big heap shit. Same going out as coming in.
CASHIER: One order hog fattener grade arby's roof rabbit, is that gonna be big boy or bitch boy
OLD MAN: Big boy. Cook it to leather too
CASHIER: We don't cook it any other way brother
OLD MAN: I wanna big heap shit. Same going out as coming in.
CASHIER: One order hog fattener grade arby's roof rabbit, is that gonna be big boy or bitch boy
OLD MAN: Big boy. Cook it to leather too
CASHIER: We don't cook it any other way brother
reminded vaguely of vine, which collapsed because a bunch of the largest creators on it - the people who were generating the site’s *actual* value - approached the company about a deeper (but also labor organized) partnership and the company went “ew!”, scorned them, and the creators all left.
AND BOTH THR COOL PEOPLE AND CENTRIST DWEEBS ARE LIKE "HEY, WE'RE PERSONALLY INVESTED IN THIS SITE'S SUCCESS. CAN WE PAY YOU?"!!
And the people handed that legendary fucking once-in-a-lifetime windfall are staring at it with contempt and muttering "I wanted the nazi slopbros. This sucks."
And the people handed that legendary fucking once-in-a-lifetime windfall are staring at it with contempt and muttering "I wanted the nazi slopbros. This sucks."
October 6, 2025 at 8:23 PM
reminded vaguely of vine, which collapsed because a bunch of the largest creators on it - the people who were generating the site’s *actual* value - approached the company about a deeper (but also labor organized) partnership and the company went “ew!”, scorned them, and the creators all left.
riding my bike through the summer dusk, maximum speed. shrieking, maximum pitch. mouth, fully open. catchin bugs. bat cuisine.
July 4, 2025 at 4:08 AM
riding my bike through the summer dusk, maximum speed. shrieking, maximum pitch. mouth, fully open. catchin bugs. bat cuisine.
waxed denim jeans except the only part that’s waxed is the crotch and a streak down one of the legs so it looks like you wet your pants
May 31, 2025 at 2:14 AM
waxed denim jeans except the only part that’s waxed is the crotch and a streak down one of the legs so it looks like you wet your pants
got the wrong kind of “hung chads” in mind when someone told me about the fraud of the 2000 presidential election
May 21, 2025 at 10:24 PM
got the wrong kind of “hung chads” in mind when someone told me about the fraud of the 2000 presidential election
Reposted by Richard Kachenbals
Lesbian Goat Stalin
May 21, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Lesbian Goat Stalin
got the song “smoke on the water” confused with the phrase “smoke up your ass”. boy that didn’t go over well at my last live music gig. let’s just say the themed special effects didn’t blow the audience away.
May 1, 2025 at 3:31 AM
got the song “smoke on the water” confused with the phrase “smoke up your ass”. boy that didn’t go over well at my last live music gig. let’s just say the themed special effects didn’t blow the audience away.
my hobby is standing in front of closed doors in high traffic areas
April 5, 2025 at 1:06 AM
my hobby is standing in front of closed doors in high traffic areas
*pulls out a desiccant pack from the bag of jerky* the fuck kinda cow is this supposed to be from
March 28, 2025 at 12:43 AM
*pulls out a desiccant pack from the bag of jerky* the fuck kinda cow is this supposed to be from
son the only “psy op” I wanna hear about is the 2012 smash hit by PSY, OPpa gangnam style
March 1, 2025 at 2:47 AM
son the only “psy op” I wanna hear about is the 2012 smash hit by PSY, OPpa gangnam style
Reposted by Richard Kachenbals
me when my girl takes her top off
November 30, 2024 at 2:20 AM
me when my girl takes her top off
went to go receive communion but the priest kept yanking the eucharist back and doing little stunts with it like one of those turkish ice cream vendors. at one point he casually performed a miracle and produced the wafer from behind my ear.
October 19, 2024 at 10:17 PM
went to go receive communion but the priest kept yanking the eucharist back and doing little stunts with it like one of those turkish ice cream vendors. at one point he casually performed a miracle and produced the wafer from behind my ear.
running a marathon with a special gait algorithmically designed to prevent either of my nuts from making contact with the other. for should the two ever meet it would be as the kiss of matter and antimatter
October 7, 2023 at 9:31 AM
running a marathon with a special gait algorithmically designed to prevent either of my nuts from making contact with the other. for should the two ever meet it would be as the kiss of matter and antimatter