Scrabble Grams Passages
@sgpassage.bsky.social
I take the newspaper puzzle #ScrabbleGrams and, after finding the day's four top scoring words, try to construct them into an amusing passage. On Sundays I construct a passage using a week's worth of #NYTSpellingBee pangrams.
Pinned
ANXIETY hangs around my neck, not like an albatross, but like a BROOCH constantly pulsing an AMPERE of fear into my system. ANXIETY is my COPILOT.
We have FOOTAGE showing the suspect failing to COMPLY with the officer's command to stand down, instead flexing his DELTOID for the surveillance camera for six minutes. We'd like to ARRAIGN him for resisting arrest and attempting to get on a reality crime tv show.
December 10, 2025 at 1:05 PM
We have FOOTAGE showing the suspect failing to COMPLY with the officer's command to stand down, instead flexing his DELTOID for the surveillance camera for six minutes. We'd like to ARRAIGN him for resisting arrest and attempting to get on a reality crime tv show.
I explained to my OGREISH would-be student, with the build (and face) of a BULLDOG, that the trek to FORAGE for wild mushrooms was ARDUOUS, even for someone of his physique.
December 9, 2025 at 12:15 PM
I explained to my OGREISH would-be student, with the build (and face) of a BULLDOG, that the trek to FORAGE for wild mushrooms was ARDUOUS, even for someone of his physique.
The Wonder Years narrator: The theater kids who would PLAYACT in the hallways, the dumb kids with VACANT looks, the hyper kids that would GLITCH all the time: it turned out they had to DELOUSE all of us.
December 8, 2025 at 12:22 PM
The Wonder Years narrator: The theater kids who would PLAYACT in the hallways, the dumb kids with VACANT looks, the hyper kids that would GLITCH all the time: it turned out they had to DELOUSE all of us.
Next on Celebrity Deathmatch we have a THRILLING MATCHUP between the author of AUTOCRACY, Donald Trump, and the king of ka-ching, Elon Musk. They're both being carried to the ring EXALTEDLY in palanquins. It's so exciting, you can cut the AMBIENCE (or is it AMBIANCE?) with a knife. (1/2)
December 7, 2025 at 1:14 PM
Next on Celebrity Deathmatch we have a THRILLING MATCHUP between the author of AUTOCRACY, Donald Trump, and the king of ka-ching, Elon Musk. They're both being carried to the ring EXALTEDLY in palanquins. It's so exciting, you can cut the AMBIENCE (or is it AMBIANCE?) with a knife. (1/2)
After my toddler's SEVENTH "LOGJAM" (from jamming Lincoln Logs in the toilet), I gave in and bought her a JETPACK. Despite assurances on the label, it did *not* stay in her PLAYPEN.
December 6, 2025 at 1:44 PM
After my toddler's SEVENTH "LOGJAM" (from jamming Lincoln Logs in the toilet), I gave in and bought her a JETPACK. Despite assurances on the label, it did *not* stay in her PLAYPEN.
As I sacrificed a KNIGHT, I realized I had OVERBET on this chess game, and that my chances of winning were as slim as a VEINLET on the wing of the fly that was buzzing around us, and that my "bulb" was as low WATTAGE as the one overhead.
December 5, 2025 at 12:37 PM
As I sacrificed a KNIGHT, I realized I had OVERBET on this chess game, and that my chances of winning were as slim as a VEINLET on the wing of the fly that was buzzing around us, and that my "bulb" was as low WATTAGE as the one overhead.
The most PIVOTAL scene in "The Wolf of Wall Street" is when Jonah Hill agrees to DEFRAUD investors during a squash game with Leonardo Dicaprio, causing Leo to MISHIT the ball up Jonah's nose. Followed by yet another scene featuring a yacht full of whores and blow sailing through lovely SCENERY.
December 4, 2025 at 1:06 PM
The most PIVOTAL scene in "The Wolf of Wall Street" is when Jonah Hill agrees to DEFRAUD investors during a squash game with Leonardo Dicaprio, causing Leo to MISHIT the ball up Jonah's nose. Followed by yet another scene featuring a yacht full of whores and blow sailing through lovely SCENERY.
The DEFIANT TITLARK chirped, "I demand treatment for my BUNION! And don't give me no PLACEBO!"
December 3, 2025 at 1:02 PM
The DEFIANT TITLARK chirped, "I demand treatment for my BUNION! And don't give me no PLACEBO!"
What horrors will BEFALL me in the new year? Will they MANACLE me to four other men in a chain gang? Will I become a guidance counselor and have to PLACATE AWKWARD teens all day? 😱
December 2, 2025 at 12:26 PM
What horrors will BEFALL me in the new year? Will they MANACLE me to four other men in a chain gang? Will I become a guidance counselor and have to PLACATE AWKWARD teens all day? 😱
The short-lived baseball-themed techno MUSICAL "Life in the BULLPEN" was marred by the DJ's tendency to OVERMIX the samples. As the Times put it, "a RUCKUS (derogatory)."
December 1, 2025 at 1:22 PM
The short-lived baseball-themed techno MUSICAL "Life in the BULLPEN" was marred by the DJ's tendency to OVERMIX the samples. As the Times put it, "a RUCKUS (derogatory)."
Reposted by Scrabble Grams Passages
Watched S5 E1 ("The Crawl") of #StrangerThings last night & was thrilled to see gorgeous examples of drill holes made by a yellow-bellied sapsucker (Sphyrapicus varius) in the trunk of what's likely a loblolly pine (Pinus taeda); Will Byers (Noah Schnapps) for scale. 🧪🌲🪵🐦🕳️
November 30, 2025 at 6:15 PM
Watched S5 E1 ("The Crawl") of #StrangerThings last night & was thrilled to see gorgeous examples of drill holes made by a yellow-bellied sapsucker (Sphyrapicus varius) in the trunk of what's likely a loblolly pine (Pinus taeda); Will Byers (Noah Schnapps) for scale. 🧪🌲🪵🐦🕳️
Whether you're being a KLEPTO at the Dollar Store, attempting to JAYWALK, or smuggling a WARHEAD into Canada, I find your life of crime PITIFUL.
November 29, 2025 at 12:21 PM
Whether you're being a KLEPTO at the Dollar Store, attempting to JAYWALK, or smuggling a WARHEAD into Canada, I find your life of crime PITIFUL.
Firstly, if you don't leave the planet's DAYSIDE soon, you'll boil to death. Secondly, we're having a party back at base. THIRDLY, I have a FLASKET of bourbon to share. ACTUAL Earth-distilled bourbon! Come join us!
November 28, 2025 at 12:44 PM
Firstly, if you don't leave the planet's DAYSIDE soon, you'll boil to death. Secondly, we're having a party back at base. THIRDLY, I have a FLASKET of bourbon to share. ACTUAL Earth-distilled bourbon! Come join us!
The morning talk show guest showed how she could clean SCHMUTZ from a carpet using only a willow BRANCH, causing the whole studio audience to APPLAUD, but I was UNMOVED. "I could do that," I muttered.
November 26, 2025 at 12:54 PM
The morning talk show guest showed how she could clean SCHMUTZ from a carpet using only a willow BRANCH, causing the whole studio audience to APPLAUD, but I was UNMOVED. "I could do that," I muttered.
We hast an APIARY with a GIMMICK: everyone who so works there is a BUFFOON, forsooth. Thou COULDST not have a better time than buying our honey and watching them get stung!
November 25, 2025 at 1:05 PM
We hast an APIARY with a GIMMICK: everyone who so works there is a BUFFOON, forsooth. Thou COULDST not have a better time than buying our honey and watching them get stung!
"Do I really have to wear the PILGRIM UNIFORM in the Thanksgiving parade? It was bad enough when I was a kid, but now I'm a 34 year old author! I should be signing the FLYLEAF of my book on the authors' float."
"Best I can offer you is a GOBLET or cornucopia UNIFORM on the feast float."
"Best I can offer you is a GOBLET or cornucopia UNIFORM on the feast float."
November 24, 2025 at 2:05 PM
"Do I really have to wear the PILGRIM UNIFORM in the Thanksgiving parade? It was bad enough when I was a kid, but now I'm a 34 year old author! I should be signing the FLYLEAF of my book on the authors' float."
"Best I can offer you is a GOBLET or cornucopia UNIFORM on the feast float."
"Best I can offer you is a GOBLET or cornucopia UNIFORM on the feast float."
My GRANDPOP developed the CURVING windshield. Before that, they were more likely to develop a MICROCRACK. For his INGENUITY, he received ENNOBLEMENT. Then he got BIGHEADED and tried OUTWITTING the Queen in a game of Scrabble. Wikipedia says he tricked her out of ten quid, but that's just PROPAGANDA.
November 23, 2025 at 1:13 PM
My GRANDPOP developed the CURVING windshield. Before that, they were more likely to develop a MICROCRACK. For his INGENUITY, he received ENNOBLEMENT. Then he got BIGHEADED and tried OUTWITTING the Queen in a game of Scrabble. Wikipedia says he tricked her out of ten quid, but that's just PROPAGANDA.
"The WARLOCK And The LOCKBOX is the second in my Compounded fantasy series, after The Cleric And The Icicle."
"Your illustrator did a great job of drawing the WARLOCK zapping open a treasure chest here."
"Oh, that illustrator was UNHIRED! It's just some FANART that someone sent in."
"Your illustrator did a great job of drawing the WARLOCK zapping open a treasure chest here."
"Oh, that illustrator was UNHIRED! It's just some FANART that someone sent in."
November 22, 2025 at 12:58 PM
"The WARLOCK And The LOCKBOX is the second in my Compounded fantasy series, after The Cleric And The Icicle."
"Your illustrator did a great job of drawing the WARLOCK zapping open a treasure chest here."
"Oh, that illustrator was UNHIRED! It's just some FANART that someone sent in."
"Your illustrator did a great job of drawing the WARLOCK zapping open a treasure chest here."
"Oh, that illustrator was UNHIRED! It's just some FANART that someone sent in."
"As a child, I was inspired to become a scientist by watching the television show COSMOS. Now I spend three hours a day stuck on the BELTWAY to spend eight hours as a PIPETTE jockey," said the biochemist glumly, as he chewed on a FILBERT.
November 21, 2025 at 12:26 PM
"As a child, I was inspired to become a scientist by watching the television show COSMOS. Now I spend three hours a day stuck on the BELTWAY to spend eight hours as a PIPETTE jockey," said the biochemist glumly, as he chewed on a FILBERT.
In the backseat of a Suburban:
"BENEATH every GEYSER in this park is volcanic magma that could erupt at any moment, killing us instantly."
"You shut your PIEHOLE! Fake news!"
"You shut *your* PIEHOLE! It's FACTUAL!"
"Mom!"
"BENEATH every GEYSER in this park is volcanic magma that could erupt at any moment, killing us instantly."
"You shut your PIEHOLE! Fake news!"
"You shut *your* PIEHOLE! It's FACTUAL!"
"Mom!"
November 20, 2025 at 12:11 PM
In the backseat of a Suburban:
"BENEATH every GEYSER in this park is volcanic magma that could erupt at any moment, killing us instantly."
"You shut your PIEHOLE! Fake news!"
"You shut *your* PIEHOLE! It's FACTUAL!"
"Mom!"
"BENEATH every GEYSER in this park is volcanic magma that could erupt at any moment, killing us instantly."
"You shut your PIEHOLE! Fake news!"
"You shut *your* PIEHOLE! It's FACTUAL!"
"Mom!"
BOTANY enthusiast to his friend, the viking: as I'm ANTIWAR, I don't like it when you PILLAGE, no matter how much CORDAGE of British forest we acquire as a result.
November 19, 2025 at 1:21 PM
BOTANY enthusiast to his friend, the viking: as I'm ANTIWAR, I don't like it when you PILLAGE, no matter how much CORDAGE of British forest we acquire as a result.
Al Pacino voiceover: throughout my BOYHOOD, elected officials would bring my father a gift of a PINFISH. PHOOEY, I thought. Only later did I realize that it was because the whole town was CORRUPT, and also terrible gift pickers.
November 18, 2025 at 12:39 PM
Al Pacino voiceover: throughout my BOYHOOD, elected officials would bring my father a gift of a PINFISH. PHOOEY, I thought. Only later did I realize that it was because the whole town was CORRUPT, and also terrible gift pickers.
It was hard to catch the meaning of the seemingly HELPFUL man's words, as he spoke in FLOWERY language, entirely in the DATIVE case. Something about following him to his BOUDOIR...
November 17, 2025 at 12:52 PM
It was hard to catch the meaning of the seemingly HELPFUL man's words, as he spoke in FLOWERY language, entirely in the DATIVE case. Something about following him to his BOUDOIR...
I was having trouble making a living as a PHOTOG (most of my pics were RUBBISH), but when I sold a cute pic of the bravest PENGUIN chick I was able to afford a BILEVEL house.
November 15, 2025 at 1:04 PM
I was having trouble making a living as a PHOTOG (most of my pics were RUBBISH), but when I sold a cute pic of the bravest PENGUIN chick I was able to afford a BILEVEL house.
I'm so mad at my HUSBAND! He hired a drummer for our house to play a RIMSHOT every time he tells one of his dumb jokes. Money's tight and I asked him how he's planning to make the next PAYMENT. He just told another joke - what a COPOUT!
November 14, 2025 at 1:04 PM
I'm so mad at my HUSBAND! He hired a drummer for our house to play a RIMSHOT every time he tells one of his dumb jokes. Money's tight and I asked him how he's planning to make the next PAYMENT. He just told another joke - what a COPOUT!