Author | Lightnews

Sharkey 🦈

@sharkey.bsky.social

840 followers 300 following 2K posts

Sharkey is a fictional character. Cautionary example that assholes might mistake for cool. Did not not invent the word "Metroidvania."

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Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · Sep 13

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Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 5h

I actually had a Saturn not quite this mustard in a display window because I didn't know I had a display window at all until months after I bought the shop, until the mall was like do you want to swap that shit out for Christmas and I was like excuse me what.

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Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 5h

Okay, the riffs are fun but I'm gonna be that asshole. If it's real that shit was in a window for like twenty years. It has nothing to do with smoking.

Back when I had my shop I'd get the nastiest smoker home shit that'd be white as the driven snow, and yellowed units that were otherwise pristine.

「ＹＡＳＥ」 eclipse @eclipse.yase.world · Nov 22

ive never in my entire life seen plastic yellow this bad. this saturn smokes two packs a day

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Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 10h

I still think about it like, was it a specific episode that set them off or was it because they were just generally kind of a slut?

Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 11h

"I'm so old now. I used to have so much mercy."

Corny ass doctor who lines sure hit different these days.

Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 12h

Like a decade ago at the target in portland someone had gone around all the golden girls stuff and scratched out blanche's face on everything. I think I still have a coffee cup somewhere from that. Like, yeah, it's damaged. That's why I need it, as a memento of that very specific psychosis.

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Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 14h

Yeah. Mum has been paying to electrocute earthworms for a while I guess.

Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 14h

Way to bury this psycho shit one inch down under some sprinklers, asshole.

Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 16h

When the demon face that lives in your left hand pipes up like "yo, you've got sun poisoning, idiot" you might have sun poisoning, idiot.

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Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 16h

Okay it's goofy but I was thinking the same thing. On account of a rain soaked conversation with Parish like twenty years ago.

Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 16h

I wish. Fixing things for my mum while visiting. Dad had shitty extension cords running to outbuildings so I'm putting in actual conduits before it kills someone. Probably should have just rented an excavator but I like swinging a mattock. And saying mattock. Mattock.

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Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 17h

Digging a trench through desert hardpan and when I look at another hundred feet to go my XIV poisoned brain starts playing Answers.

Just, oh my god fuck you so much.

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Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 17h

The world doesn't understand just how much it owes to weird perverts. Maybe not in this case but

Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 17h

I hope they turn this whole place into a sand trap.

Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 18h

#rikerposting

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Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 18h

Computer, generate eighty foot tall Linda Carter with full bladder. Generate lawn chair and goggles.

Disengage safety protocols and run program.

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Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 18h

corporate accounts posting horny on main is weird

Screenshot of a video posted by DC titled "Wonder Woman being a Muscle Mommy for 24 minutes 🥵 | Best of DC Animated Mo..." Somewhat incongruously the thumbnail depicts people picketing with anti Wonder Woman signs.

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Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 18h

well now I know what I'm doing next wasteland weekend

Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 1d

Oh hell, sounds like I've got something to watch later.

Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 1d

Like, 5? But as an average of 1 or 10 with nothing in between. Like Mister Rogers wearing a bomb vest.

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Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 2d

Been a cranky old fuck for so long I fully expect to wrap around and turn into a whimsical forest sprite or some shit.

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Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 3d

You know, this is one of those cases where I don't even have to look to 100% believe that.

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Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 3d

Not even saying that's a bad thing. Fourteen year old me would think this is the tits.

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Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 3d

Every time someone tells me some random thing about The Boys it sounds like absolutely the stupidest edgy teenage boy shit I've ever heard but then I actually see some of the show and yeah. Yeah, it is.

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Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 4d

It's like how sharks can smell a drop of blood a hundred miles away except the shark is wearing fishnets and self harm scars and the blood is a dude made of matchsticks and ptsd just trying to eat his breakfast cigarettes.

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Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 4d

I wish I could sleep this stupid.

A corgi is sleeping on a striped blanket with his tongue sticking out

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