SimpsonsQOTD
@simpsonsqotd.bsky.social
Ah! I love these lazy Saturdays.
Pinned
"Two wrongs don't make a right, Bart."
"Yes, they do."
"No, they don't. Dad!"
"Two wrongs make a right, Lisa."
"Yes, they do."
"No, they don't. Dad!"
"Two wrongs make a right, Lisa."
November 24, 2025 at 7:01 PM
"Two wrongs don't make a right, Bart."
"Yes, they do."
"No, they don't. Dad!"
"Two wrongs make a right, Lisa."
"Yes, they do."
"No, they don't. Dad!"
"Two wrongs make a right, Lisa."
"One trick is to tell them stories that don't go anywhere.
Like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville.
I needed a new heel for my shoe
So I decided to go to Morganville,
which is what they called Shelbyville in those days.
So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time..."
Like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville.
I needed a new heel for my shoe
So I decided to go to Morganville,
which is what they called Shelbyville in those days.
So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time..."
November 23, 2025 at 7:01 PM
"One trick is to tell them stories that don't go anywhere.
Like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville.
I needed a new heel for my shoe
So I decided to go to Morganville,
which is what they called Shelbyville in those days.
So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time..."
Like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville.
I needed a new heel for my shoe
So I decided to go to Morganville,
which is what they called Shelbyville in those days.
So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time..."
"Give it up, dad, piggy ain't coming back."
November 22, 2025 at 7:02 PM
"Give it up, dad, piggy ain't coming back."
"Mr. Hutz, do you know you're not wearing any pants?"
"What?"
"What?"
November 20, 2025 at 7:03 PM
"Mr. Hutz, do you know you're not wearing any pants?"
"What?"
"What?"
"In case all that smiling didn't cheer you up there's one thing that never fails:
A nice glass of warm milk, a little nap and a total frontal lobotomy."
A nice glass of warm milk, a little nap and a total frontal lobotomy."
November 19, 2025 at 7:02 PM
"In case all that smiling didn't cheer you up there's one thing that never fails:
A nice glass of warm milk, a little nap and a total frontal lobotomy."
A nice glass of warm milk, a little nap and a total frontal lobotomy."
"So that's it? After 20 years, so long, good luck?"
"I don't recall saying good luck."
"I don't recall saying good luck."
November 18, 2025 at 7:01 PM
"So that's it? After 20 years, so long, good luck?"
"I don't recall saying good luck."
"I don't recall saying good luck."
"Nobody ruins my family vacation but me and maybe the boy."
November 17, 2025 at 7:02 PM
"Nobody ruins my family vacation but me and maybe the boy."
"Welcome to remedial science 1-A.
My wife recently passed away.
I thought teaching might ease my loneliness."
"Will this be on the test?"
"No."
My wife recently passed away.
I thought teaching might ease my loneliness."
"Will this be on the test?"
"No."
November 16, 2025 at 7:00 PM
"Welcome to remedial science 1-A.
My wife recently passed away.
I thought teaching might ease my loneliness."
"Will this be on the test?"
"No."
My wife recently passed away.
I thought teaching might ease my loneliness."
"Will this be on the test?"
"No."
"Hey, they got chairs with wheels.
And here I am, using my legs like a sucker."
And here I am, using my legs like a sucker."
November 15, 2025 at 7:01 PM
"Hey, they got chairs with wheels.
And here I am, using my legs like a sucker."
And here I am, using my legs like a sucker."
"So, this patch steadily releases nicotine into
my body eliminating my need for cigarettes."
my body eliminating my need for cigarettes."
November 14, 2025 at 7:00 PM
"So, this patch steadily releases nicotine into
my body eliminating my need for cigarettes."
my body eliminating my need for cigarettes."
"Smithers, this beer isn't working.
I don't feel any younger or funkier."
"I'll switch to the tablespoon, Sir."
I don't feel any younger or funkier."
"I'll switch to the tablespoon, Sir."
November 13, 2025 at 7:02 PM
"Smithers, this beer isn't working.
I don't feel any younger or funkier."
"I'll switch to the tablespoon, Sir."
I don't feel any younger or funkier."
"I'll switch to the tablespoon, Sir."
'Clancy, use the remote."
"Oh, yeah."
"Oh, yeah."
November 12, 2025 at 7:01 PM
'Clancy, use the remote."
"Oh, yeah."
"Oh, yeah."
"I want to set the record straight.
I thought the cop was a prostitute."
I thought the cop was a prostitute."
November 11, 2025 at 7:02 PM
"I want to set the record straight.
I thought the cop was a prostitute."
I thought the cop was a prostitute."
"Stupid trash...
Rotten, stinky...
Hate world...
Revenge soon...
Take out on everyone...
Aah! Garbage water!"
Rotten, stinky...
Hate world...
Revenge soon...
Take out on everyone...
Aah! Garbage water!"
November 10, 2025 at 7:02 PM
"Stupid trash...
Rotten, stinky...
Hate world...
Revenge soon...
Take out on everyone...
Aah! Garbage water!"
Rotten, stinky...
Hate world...
Revenge soon...
Take out on everyone...
Aah! Garbage water!"
"Aw, man, he's making us look
like a bunch of cheapskates.
Whoa, whoa, my rope came loose."
like a bunch of cheapskates.
Whoa, whoa, my rope came loose."
November 9, 2025 at 7:00 PM
"Aw, man, he's making us look
like a bunch of cheapskates.
Whoa, whoa, my rope came loose."
like a bunch of cheapskates.
Whoa, whoa, my rope came loose."
"What's Gabbo?
I figure it's some guy's name.
Some guy named Gabbo. Hmm."
"I don't think they're giving you
enough information, dad."
"I'll figure it out.
I'm going to use all the power of my brain."
I figure it's some guy's name.
Some guy named Gabbo. Hmm."
"I don't think they're giving you
enough information, dad."
"I'll figure it out.
I'm going to use all the power of my brain."
November 8, 2025 at 7:00 PM
"What's Gabbo?
I figure it's some guy's name.
Some guy named Gabbo. Hmm."
"I don't think they're giving you
enough information, dad."
"I'll figure it out.
I'm going to use all the power of my brain."
I figure it's some guy's name.
Some guy named Gabbo. Hmm."
"I don't think they're giving you
enough information, dad."
"I'll figure it out.
I'm going to use all the power of my brain."
"Why? Why was I programmed to feel pain?"
November 7, 2025 at 7:01 PM
"Why? Why was I programmed to feel pain?"
"Oh, I've never liked the little wiener Milhouse."
November 6, 2025 at 7:02 PM
"Oh, I've never liked the little wiener Milhouse."
"Mrs. Simpson what did you and your husband do
after you were ejected from the restaurant?"
"We pretty much went straight home."
"Mrs. Simpson you're under oath."
"We drove around until 3:00
Looking for another all-you-can-eat fish restaurant."
"And when you couldnt find one?"
"We went fishing"
after you were ejected from the restaurant?"
"We pretty much went straight home."
"Mrs. Simpson you're under oath."
"We drove around until 3:00
Looking for another all-you-can-eat fish restaurant."
"And when you couldnt find one?"
"We went fishing"
November 5, 2025 at 7:00 PM
"Mrs. Simpson what did you and your husband do
after you were ejected from the restaurant?"
"We pretty much went straight home."
"Mrs. Simpson you're under oath."
"We drove around until 3:00
Looking for another all-you-can-eat fish restaurant."
"And when you couldnt find one?"
"We went fishing"
after you were ejected from the restaurant?"
"We pretty much went straight home."
"Mrs. Simpson you're under oath."
"We drove around until 3:00
Looking for another all-you-can-eat fish restaurant."
"And when you couldnt find one?"
"We went fishing"
"You know, Smithers, I think I'll donate a million dollars to the local orphanage... When pigs fly."
November 4, 2025 at 7:00 PM
"You know, Smithers, I think I'll donate a million dollars to the local orphanage... When pigs fly."
"Now, what is a wedding? Well, Webster's Dictionary describes a wedding as
'The process of removing weeds from one's garden'."
'The process of removing weeds from one's garden'."
November 3, 2025 at 7:00 PM
"Now, what is a wedding? Well, Webster's Dictionary describes a wedding as
'The process of removing weeds from one's garden'."
'The process of removing weeds from one's garden'."
"Krusty, why are you here?"
"It's part of my public service for my
glug-glug, vroom-vroom, thump-thump."
"It's part of my public service for my
glug-glug, vroom-vroom, thump-thump."
November 2, 2025 at 7:00 PM
"Krusty, why are you here?"
"It's part of my public service for my
glug-glug, vroom-vroom, thump-thump."
"It's part of my public service for my
glug-glug, vroom-vroom, thump-thump."
"Show's over, Shakespeare."
November 1, 2025 at 7:02 PM
"Show's over, Shakespeare."
"Hey, hi, fellow halloweenies.
Did I scaredilly-dare you?"
"Why... Da-da-darn it."
Did I scaredilly-dare you?"
"Why... Da-da-darn it."
October 31, 2025 at 9:01 PM
"Hey, hi, fellow halloweenies.
Did I scaredilly-dare you?"
"Why... Da-da-darn it."
Did I scaredilly-dare you?"
"Why... Da-da-darn it."