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Michael sisto

@sistosterone.bsky.social

92K followers 160K following 4.3K posts

Weird Comedy person 👨🏻‍🦱 If anything here offends you blame your parents for raising such a dooshnozzle. Tell your friends Malibu, Ca / Guantánamo Bay, Cuba 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇 https://www.instagram.com/sistosterone/

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Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · Feb 19

Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 4h

If we don’t conserve water, we’ll go from one ex-stream to another.

Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 5h

A man was interviewed about falling off a tower in Paris. When asked what happened, he replied, “Eiffel.”

Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 5h

I was going to tell you a joke about infinity, but it doesn’t have an ending.

Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 2d

Q: How many Trump supporters do you need to change a Lightbulb? 💡

A: None! Trump says he fixed it and they all stand cheering in the dark.

Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 2d

Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 5d

I asked my dog how the economy is doing…he said rough.

Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 8d

When the butcher backed up into the meat grinder, he got a little behind in his work.

Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 8d

If you tried to walk a mile in my shoes, you wouldn’t get too far bc I havnt worn shoes since 2012

Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 8d

I thought I was a good swimmer, but then I swam in the ocean and got schooled by some fish.

Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 9d

The government is now officially shut down. I guess Trump really is running the country like one of his businesses.

Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 11d

The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester

Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 12d

I played really hard in my basketball game the other day…until the 2nd half when I went back to flaccid

Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 13d

Living in Switzerland has a lot of advantages. For example, the flag is a big plus.

Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 14d

I used to have a passion for selling computer parts, but then I lost my drive.

Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 15d

Just made a new song. Let me know if you think it’s appropriate enough to release to the masses.

m.soundcloud.com/user-9278069...

Stream i beat my wife by Endangered feces on desktop and mobile. Play over 320 million tracks for free on SoundCloud.

m.soundcloud.com

Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 15d

My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I have a hunch, it might be me.

Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 21d

I was going to invest in vinal albums, but I scratched that.

Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 21d

What do you call a person with no body and no nose? Nobody knows

Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 21d

I asked my brother to pass me the travel pamphlet, and he said “bro sure.”

Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 22d

How much room is needed for fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible

Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 23d

Is nathan short for jonathan or whats the deal there?

Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 23d

I realize now that if im gonna rail a pill straight to my dome, its much easier if i crush it first

Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 23d

Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 24d

Q: How many dementia patients does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: To get to the other side

Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 25d

When nate and mary make love do they call it marinating?